Inner Conflict
by ForeverSam
Summary: ―All In Your Head Sequel― With a new war comes new problems. Two very different people struggle against the feelings that threaten to overwhelm them, while the ones they love try desperately to save them ―IchiRuki, HitsuHina―
1. The Plan

**Title: **Inner Conflict

**Rating: **T

**Pairing(s): **IchiRuki, HitsuHina

**Summary:** ―All In Your Head Sequel― With a new war comes new problems. Two very different people struggle against the feelings that threaten to overwhelm them, while the ones they love try desperately to save them ―IchiRuki, HitsuHina―

* * *

**Inner Conflict ― I**

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Hinamori Momo jumped a mile and twisted her upper body around, her eyes wide. She looked up into the smiling face of her orange-haired captain.

"C-Captain Kurosaki, I―"

"Please." Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I _hate _that formal stuff. Just…call me Ichigo, all right?"

The Fifth Squad obviously had bad luck with captains. It was the only explanation as to why they'd lost their last captain, Aizen's successor, in a scouting mission just a month earlier. Momo could only hope that same bad luck wouldn't fall on their newest captain, Kurosaki Ichigo. Well, if anything they had a good captain. For now.

"So how are you?" Ichigo flopped down next to Momo. She had been sitting on a hill just outside the fifth division, watching the sun set. She smiled as Ichigo sat next to her.

"Not too bad. How 'bout you?"

"A'right. Breathe easier when Rukia's back from that scouting mission." Momo smirked despite herself. Why couldn't Ichigo say stuff like that when Rukia was actually _around_? When the two were around each other, they turned into automatic insult machines.

"I'm sure you will." Momo grinned. Ichigo scowled, realizing the implications of his vice-captain's sentence.

"Momo?"

"Yes?"

"I hate you."

"Thanks." Momo laughed as the sun faded from the sky at last, plunging the pair into darkness. Momo stood up at last, dusting off her Shinigami robes. "Well, I'd better get going."

"Here, I'll walk with you." Ichigo stood up as well, stretching and yawning. "You live down the south end, don't you? That's where I'm heading."

"Uh huh." Momo nodded, then, just because she felt devious, she added in a sly voice, "Rukia lives down there too."

Even in the pale moonlight, it was easy to see Ichigo's face go red. "Yeah…so what?"

Momo just laughed. "Come on, let's go."

They started down the street together. The silence they walked in was comfortable, but Momo felt the need to break it anyway. "Hey Ichigo, can I ask you a question?"

"Ask away."

"What is it about Rukia-san that makes you feel so inclined to protect her? And _don't _say she gives up the damsel in distress vibe." Ichigo laughed.

"No, she doesn't, and if I ever suggested it to her she'd use my head for soccer." He thought for a minute. "I…don't really know what it is. You're right, damsel in distress isn't her style, not in the least. And you'll never hear me say it is. But really…Rukia's a magnet for trouble. I suppose that's the best way to put it." Momo had to admit, she agreed with that. "And while she doesn't give off the helpless signal, I have to admit, I _do _want to protect her. I _really _don't know what it is. I just don't like it when she's out my sight, makes me feel weird. Because I can't protect her when I can't see her. And when she's _in _my sight, I want to…as stupid as this may sound ― and I assure you, it _will _sound stupid ― I want to just hold her and keep her safe. Especially the last few months. With the stories you and Renji have been telling me, and what I've seen myself…I just want to protect her. That's all there is to it."

Momo didn't think it sounded stupid. At all. It just sounded like he was in love. She smiled. Ichigo misinterpreted the smile the wrong way. "Oh come on…I told you it sounded stupid."

"No, it doesn't. Not to me." Ichigo smiled weakly. "Anyways, don't worry ― scouting missions only last about a week, usually, unless they run into _real _trouble, they should be back by tomorrow the latest."

"I fairly certain I just established the fact that Rukia is a _magnet _for trouble."

"Maybe, but Renji's with her, Shirou-chan and Rangiku-san too, I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Oh _that's _reassuring." Ichigo rolled his eyes. Momo laughed. His concern for the raven-haired vice-captain of the thirteenth division was almost hysterical. "So what about you, anyway?"

"What about me?"

"Toushirou is out too, isn't he? How are you doing?" Momo made a face, hoping it was too dark for Ichigo to see the slight blush that would have betrayed her feelings.

"I, uh…" She looked around, hoping for an escape. Her eyes landed one not too far away. "Hey, Rukia-san!"

The violet-eyed Shinigami had just turned off from a side-street that led from the first division. She'd obviously just gotten back. Other than looking weary and exhausted, she looked okay. The tension in Ichigo's body drained visibly the second he laid eyes on her.

"Hey midget. Made it back in one piece, did you? That must be a new record."

She waited until they were close enough to slap Ichigo. "Good to see you again too, Strawberry."

The strawberry in question rubbed his head, annoyed. "How do you manage to reach so high without a pole?" He grumbled, running a hand through his ever unruly spiky orange hair.

"Oh _bite me_." Rukia snapped, equally annoyed. "I've had to put up with his royal captain-ness the last seven days ― I'm not in the mood to deal with _you _right now."

"You're _never _in the mood to deal with me."

"Good point."

Momo was beginning to feel like an intruder on some private moment. She backed uneasily away from Ichigo's side so she could go around Rukia and continue down the street. The motion caught Rukia's eyes.

"Oh, Momo-san. How's it going?"

"Not too bad. Usual I guess."

"With Ichigo as your captain, I wouldn't expect you to be _great_."

"Oh shut up Rukia."

"Make me."

"What are you, _two_?"

"No, I think I'm just a _little _older than that."

"I'm…gonna go home. See you later―"

Momo doubted they noticed her leave. The insult fest was in full swing now, her presence made no difference one way or another. Their voices echoed down the street towards her until she disappeared around the corner.

_Rukia-san and Ichigo…those two are so perfect for each other, I wonder if _they _realize it ― probably not, _Momo smiled at her thoughts, _they're a funny couple._

She laughed a little. Those two could never be classified as a couple. And yet so many had…

"Oh!"

She had just turned up the walkway to her small house. There were two people in front of her door, one sitting on her steps, slumped over in a bored way, the other leaning against the door, arms folded. The spiky white hair was easily recognized, even in the dark.

"Shirou-chan!" Momo smiled. She hadn't even thought about it. Rukia was back, so of course, Toushirou would be as well. Momo had to admit, she was glad the thought hadn't crossed her mind ― surprises were always nice.

"There, she's okay." Matsumoto sighed wearily. "Can I go home now, _please_? I'm _tired_, I want to _sleep_. Nothing against you Momo-san, I'm glad you're all right, but―"

"Wait, wait, wait, _why _wouldn't I be okay?" Momo was confused. What in the world was Matsumoto going on about? "Shirou-chan, what's she talking about?"

Toushirou sighed. "Nothing much. Just checking in. I don't know what she's babbling about, really, it's not like I _made _her come―"

Matsumoto sighed as she stood up, shaking her head. "Well, I'm catching a drink and going to bed, night all."

She waved over her shoulder and started down the walkway. Toushirou waited until she was out of sight to look back to Momo. Their eyes met at the same time. "What's wrong, Shirou-chan? You look…upset about something."

Toushirou shook his head and pushed himself off the door, starting down the walkway as well. "Nothing, Hinamori. Don't worry about it."

"Toushirou." He stopped, his back to her. "You're acting really weird, will you _please _tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing." Toushirou said after a minute. "Just…do me a favor, all right?"

"Sure…what?"

"For the time being…just stay close to home. Okay?"

"That depends. Why?"

"I'll just breathe easier if I know you're not out on some suicide mission. Good enough?"

His words stirred something in Momo's mind. She ignored it. "Toushirou, you're not making much sense, you know that right? What's wrong?"

"Nothing much. Right now, though, I just think you're better off in Soul Society." He walked away. Momo just stared after him, confused. What in the world was _that _all about?

* * *

_"Those pretty little Shinigami Aizen-sama is after aren't going to go willingly. He's gonna have a rough time with them."  
_

_"I don't even know why he wants them."_

Toushirou and Rangiku tried to make themselves scarce behind the pillar they had been about to walk past. Three Arrancar foot soldiers were walking past. Their spiritual pressure was dim, almost non-existent. They would have been nothing to worry about, had the Shinigami wanted to fight them. But they were eager to not be caught.

_"He was impressed by them when they were here saving that orange-haired freak." The last Arrancar spoke up. "It's going to be a bitch trying to catch them though. I'm not sure I want to see what he'll do to get to them though."_

"I heard Ichimaru talkin' ― apparently one of them is Aizen-sama's old vice-captain. Hero worshipped him, the stupid girl. She'll be easy to get to" Toushirou stiffened, angry at the slight towards Momo. How dare they―?

_"And the other one?"_

"We'll just see, won't we?"

Kuchiki Rukia. She was, Rangiku had decided, the other Shinigami the Arrancar had been talking about. Momo and Rukia. Both had been there to save Ichigo when he had been taken by Aizen. And both had ― rather stupidly ― displayed a brief but powerful show of their Kido skills.

It was no secret that Hinamori Momo and Kuchiki Rukia were two of the most skilled Shinigami when it came to Kido, outside of the Kido Squad, of course. What Aizen had seen had only been a small example of what both could do. But it had been enough.

Rukia just couldn't be allowed to go on scouting missions anymore. This had been her first one, and it would be her last. Momo hadn't been on one yet. And if Toushirou had his way, she wouldn't be allowed on one ever.

Ah, but how to keep them from finding out? This would be a matter to bring up at a Captains' meeting, and there was more than one loudmouth captain to worry about spilling the secret. Not that Toushirou was worried about Rukia. He'd learned, in the brief time she had been on his team while in the world of the living, that she was strong, willful, and not easily ruffled. That attitude had returned full force with Ichigo's recovery. No, what Toushirou was worried about was…Momo.

It had been years, but the white-haired captain knew that Momo had never truly recovered from Aizen's betrayal. She acted as normal has possible, of course, and for the most part she had managed to forget. But after the almost doomed rescue attempt of Kurosaki, when she had come face-to-face with Aizen for the first time since he'd left Soul Society (was it really almost sixteen years since then?), she'd been…not worse off exactly, but certainly not as good as she had been. She'd gone catatonic for awhile after they'd returned to Soul Society, but she'd snapped out of it fairly quickly. A lot better than before, at any rate. Toushirou still worried about her though. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. If Aizen so much as _touched _her, he'd regret the day he so much as laid a finger on a Zanpakatou. The silent promise was something Toushirou knew he would have no problem fulfilling. He owed Aizen Sousuke a _world _of hurt.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Allow for the fact that introductry chapters aren't always the best (or hardly ever). Anyways...yeah. Review and let me know if it's worth it to keep going -- Sam


	2. The War

**Inner Conflict ― II**

"_Unh_."

There was a muffled clattering noise as Rukia's Zanpakatou slipped from her hands, landing on the grass beneath her. Her knees followed the Zanpakatou as she fell, barely managing to sit up straight. She rested her hands on her knees and doubled over, breathing hard.

"I see…so you're just trying to kill yourself, then?"

Rukia turned her head up to glare at Sode no Shirayuki, who was standing over her, obviously not happy with her bearer. Rukia scowled.

"I'm not _trying _to kill myself―"

"But you're doing a good job."

"All right, all right, I get it." Rukia sighed. "No more today, understood."

"No more for a _couple _of days." Shirayuki amended as she watched Rukia stumble up. "I'm not letting you die over something as trivial as achieving Bankai."

Rukia shook as she tested her legs carefully to see if they would hold her weight. Damn it, she wasn't going to be able to walk straight for a _week_.

"I'll get it even if it _does _kill me." She vowed, glaring at Shirayuki. The manifestation of her sword sighed. "I've been training for almost twelve years―"

"But you're more motivated now." Shirayuki finished the sentence.

"Meaning?" But Shirayuki was already fading. "Hey, wait, answer the question first!"

Too late. She was gone. Rukia swore under her breath and started making her way slowly back to the thirteenth division. She'd gone to the place where she and Kaien had always gone to train. It seemed appropriate she would train _there _for Bankai.

It had been two days since she'd returned from Hueco Mundo. _That _was a mission that had been completely unsuccessful. They'd gone to rescue some prisoners of war, and had ended up bolting before they could get anywhere _near _the prison. Oh well…maybe the _next _group would have better luck.

"So _there _you are." The voice came out of nowhere, surprising Rukia, who whirled around and, in turn, nearly lost her balance and fell over. Ichigo was sitting in a tree, laughing. "Where do you disappear to during the day, anyway?"

"None of your business."

"You look like hell."

"No worse then _you _look on your _best_ day."

"Funny." Ichigo jumped out of the tree, landing surprisingly lightly considering his size. "Seriously though, what do you do up here? You look like someone kicked the crap out of you."

_Well, technically, someone did_. "Something wrong with your ears? I just _said _it's none of your business." Rukia started to walk away. Ichigo was right behind her.

"Fine, be that way." He sighed. "So Renji was telling me about your scouting mission. Guess it didn't go so hot, huh?"

"Ya _think_?" Rukia rolled her eyes. "I mean, you don't see any of the missing Shinigami hanging around, do you?"

"Welcome to war." Ichigo sighed, shaking his head. "It's terrible, innit?"

"Yeah. Just do me a favor and stay off the frontline. The last thing I need is to haul you back to Karakura and throw you back in that damn hospital. Orihime-san and Ishida might be mad at me…"

Ichigo blinked, surprised. It had been six months since his prolonged stay at Karakura's local asylum. For the longest time afterwards, Rukia had been unable to look him straight in the eye and talk at the same time. And while he had been able to make jokes about it for the longest time, she had always acted like he was saying something terrible when he tried, so he'd stopped, of course. Of course he'd stop, if it was hurting _her_.

"You know I'll fight if I'm needed."

"Yeah." Her shoulders dropped noticeably, the strong façade gone, for the moment. "That's what makes you the annoying idiot you are."

"And I'm proud to hold the title." He grinned at her back. He could tell, from the disgusted noise she made in the back of her throat, that she was rolling her eyes. He was about to say something, shoot back some insult, when he saw her wobble a little. It was a small movement, barely noticeable, but his eyes were sharp. "Are you _sure _you're okay?"

"I'm _fine_." She pressed, sounding annoyed. "Don't you have a division to be running? For God's sake, there has to be _something _you could be doing that's more fulfilling then annoying the hell out of me."

"Sorry, but that's what I live for." Again, he knew she was rolling her eyes. She was so predictable. "Anyways, I left Momo in charge. Things will be fine there. And hey, what about you? Hasn't Captain Ukitake on bed rest for the past few weeks? I'm sure there's something _you _could be doing that's better than a nature walk."

"Funny. He said he felt okay today, and where I've been taking over his duties _and _mine he said I could have the day off to rest."

"Doesn't look like you were resting to me."

"Oh be _quiet_. I didn't ask your opinion." It was Ichigo's turn to roll his eyes. So stubborn, so annoying. Just one of the many reasons he loved her.

Yes, he _did _love her. He would never admit it to her (it had taken him months to admit it to _himself_), but the feelings were there nonetheless. He couldn't ― wouldn't ― make them disappear.

On the other hand, there were _some _things he wished he could make disappear.

"So how's…_he _been acting?"

And _that _was one of them. The damned hollow he'd once had under control. The fifteen years he'd spent out of his head had weakened that control. And ever since the mess with Aizen, the hollow had felt more motivated to break out. It was all _incredibly _annoying, really.

"Quiet. For now. I actually haven't heard from…from _him _in awhile. I was kind of hoping being away from Aizen would shut him up."

"That would be too easy."

"You're right. Easy doesn't flow with us."

"Well of _course _I'm right―"

"Don't let it go to your head."

"Oh be―"

Before she could finish the sentence, a hell butterfly fluttered down towards them. Rukia lifted a finger for it to land on.

"All captains are to report to meeting room one immediately." She repeated the message, smirking as Ichigo groaned. "Haha." She paused. "All vice-captains are to report to meeting room three. Damn it."

Ichigo's smirk mirrored her own. "_Haha_." He said mockingly. If looks could have killed…

* * *

"The list of missing has been extended to include the third seat of the eleventh squad, Ikkaku Madarame, vice-captain of the ninth squad Hisagi Shuuhei, and vice-captain of the eighth squad Ise Nanao. The list of dead has been extended to include captain of the fifth squad Iore Michio and fourth seat of the eleventh squad Ayasegawa Yumichika. That is all."

Everyone listened, their heads bowed, as the messenger read the most recent of the war's updates. The vice-captains missing from the meeting were too noticeable for any of them to ignore. Matsumoto looked particularly somber. It was no secret that she had been close to Hisagi.

These were, of course, disappearances everyone knew about now. Captain Kyouraku had been surprisingly quiet since his vice-captain had disappeared. It was almost unnerving.

"Terrible." Isane murmured, leaning against the wall, her eyes closed. "So many people…and for what?"

"For war." Rukia's voice was harsh. She tried not to get stern during meetings, tried to keep her head about her, but sometimes she just couldn't help it. "If we weren't fighting, even _more _people would be dying right now. It's as simple as that."

"It isn't easy." Matsumoto spoke before someone could contradict Rukia, knowing the raven-haired Shinigami wouldn't like that. "No one wants to fight. But at the same time, we don't have a choice."

"Have their been any reports from the living world ambassadors?" Tetsuzaemon asked Choujirou, bringing them back to the reason for the meeting. It wasn't to discuss the morality of the war.

Rukia scowled. "They have names." She muttered, crossing her arms in a stubborn way. Everyone ignored her, as they usually did when she got sulky.

"We received a brief report the other day. No change there."

"Of course not."

Morale was low within Soul Society. With so many missing and even more dead, the outlook for them looked grim. They could win, but at what cost?

* * *

"I'll kill him if he lays one _finger _on _either_ of them!"

Toushirou waited for Ichigo to finish his small rant before returning to what he had been saying. "You can see the risk of letting either of them leave Soul Society, of course, especially to let them go into Hueco Mundo. They're strong, but when Aizen wants something, he's relentless. He'll get it no matter what. You saw what lengths he went to just to get the Hougyoku. Killing off Central Forty-Six, condemning Kuchiki Rukia to death, trying to kill Hinamori Momo, Kurosaki, Kuchiki Byakuya, _me _― the list is fairly extensive. The point is, he'll do _anything _to get what he wants. No limits. Letting Kuchiki or Hinamori into Hueco Mundo would be the same as putting them to death."

"Which you've done before, to Rukia at least." Ichigo's sullen mutter, of course. Everyone ignored him.

"Captain Hitsugaya," Yamamoto spoke at last, "I understand your concern. And under normal circumstances you would be right. But as of right now, we can't afford to take _anyone _off the front line, vice-captains especially. You know, of course―"

"Yeah, I know." Yamamoto didn't get it. Hitsugaya had to make him understand, somehow. "Third, Sixth, Eighth, and Ninth Divisions have all lost their vice-captains." The respective captains grimaced upon hearing their company mentioned, even solemn Byakuya. "All the more reason to hold them back, I say. We can't afford to lose anyone else."

"It can't be helped. This is war. Casualties will happen. Losses will be suffered. It is all for the greater good, in the end though." Yamamoto's indifferent attitude did not please anyone, even his former students. "I'm sorry Captain Hitsugaya, but your request can not be filled. That is all. Dismissed."

Everyone left, a couple with mutinous looks on their faces. Ichigo cornered Hitsugaya outside the meeting room. Ukitake stood behind the orange-haired captain. Both were obviously concerned for the safety of their own vice-captains ― and Ichigo just as much so for Rukia.

"You're sure it's _them _he wants?" Hitsugaya sighed. He'd expected doubt, denial. It was a person's blood.

"Look, I told you what I heard. The Arrancar specifically said something about Aizen's vice-captain. That's Momo. Matsumoto drew the conclusion of Kuchiki on her own. They're definitely after two other Shinigami. Kuchiki being the second one just makes sense."

Ichigo's fingers were itching. He wanted to go and find Rukia and never let her out of his sight. Unbeknown to him, Hitsugaya felt the same way about Momo.

"What kind of world do we live in?" Ukitake muttered, shaking his head. "When even the most innocent are targets―"

Ichigo snorted. Rukia, innocent? About as innocent as a murderer with a bloody knife. "We'll just have to keep an eye on them." Hitsugaya said finally, his arms folded. He was deep in thought. He didn't notice that he had extended the plural to include himself. Ukitake and Ichigo had.

"You should be more concerned with your own division, Hitsugaya-kun. We can take care of ours." Hitsugaya blinked.

"What―"

"I'm not letting anyone else get hurt." Ichigo vowed, his eyes narrowed at the ground. "I swear it."

They stood in silence for a minute. "We have to make sure this doesn't get back to them." Hitsugaya said finally. "I'm not worried about Kuchiki too much, she's strong, but Hinamori…"

"I'll make sure it stays away from her ears." Ichigo promised. The captains split up and headed off in different directions, all with very different thoughts in their minds.

* * *

"So soon, Rukia? I thought we agreed you'd cool it for a couple of days."

"_You _agreed." Rukia protested, raising her sword. "I, on the other hand…well, let's just say the sooner I get Bankai, the better. Especially _now_."

Shirayuki nodded. She knew, of course, what was going on. She knew what Rukia knew. And Rukia knew that Soul Society needed strong soldiers now more than ever.

"If you're going to be stubborn, then I have no choice, do I? Let's begin…"

The air around Rukia grew cold. She raised her Zanpakatou, already released, in front of her, eyes closed, bracing herself.

Something struck her from behind, pitching her forward. She hit the ground beneath her, gasping for breath. The ground felt cold now. She knew she was no longer in the grassy training area she had learned to love. She pushed herself up, eyes open now. It didn't matter. The area around her was completely black.

Shirayuki's voice now spoke in her head.

_"Are you sure you still want to do this?"_

_"Yes." _Rukia replied, her voice strained. She wouldn't back down now. She _couldn't_. She was close, she could feel it.

_"Then turn and prepare to fight."_

She turned around, sword raised. Shirayuki was standing behind her. _"You know what to do."_

She did. Strike Shirayuki. It should have been simple.

It wasn't.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I haven't decided whether or not I want to give Rukia a Bankai. On the one hand...she deserves one, strong as she is. On the other, I'm not actually creative enough to try and come up with one **:shrug: **Do you think I should? Say so in your review. Of course, to do that, you'd have to review. So...review please! -- Sam


	3. Midnight Attack

**Inner Conflict ― III**

Alarms rented the quiet night air. Momo fell out of bed as she rolled over, entangled in her sheets.

"Oh, _ow_! Jeez, jeez, _jeez_…"

She jumped and struggled, pitching her blankets off and stripping out of her pajamas in one smooth movement. In another movement she slipped into her Shinigami robes and grabbed her Zanpakatou, running outside. All around her Shinigami were emerging from their houses swords already drawn, to meet the enemy. Momo froze when she saw the streets.

Arrancar. So _many _Arrancar. None of them seemed overly strong, but in a group they were strong enough. Momo wasted no time drawing her Zanpakatou. How in the world had they gotten here without anyone noticing? Where were the guards? Were they dead? How?

As caught up in her thoughts as she was, she didn't notice the Arrancar sneak up behind her, claws raised.

_Schwing_!

She heard the blood spill and whirled around, eyes wide. "Focus Momo-san, don't get distracted." Rukia jumped away before Momo could thank her. The brown-haired vice-captain followed her fellow's lead and drew her Zanpakatou, jumping into the fight with her sword raised.

"_Die_!" Ichigo roared, swinging his Zanpakatou through several Arrancar, slicing their heads cleanly off. He was tired, he was aggravated, he was _not i_n the mood for a fight. The sooner this was over, the better. He was tired enough ― and at the moment selfish enough ― to not really care what was happening anywhere else.

Hitsugaya jumped from roof to roof, slicing through Arrancar as he ran. He had only one thought in mind at the moment: _get to Momo_. He had assumed, originally, that she would be just outside her house, on the streets, fighting. But she seemed to have drifted away from there.

_Damn Hinamori_, he cursed, speeding up. _Why can't you make anything easy?_

Rukia growled under her breath as she hissed, "_Dance, Sode no Shirayuki_," running her hand across her Zanpakatou. It glowed brightly as it changed, and she swung again. Her eyes darted back and forth, from enemy to enemy. They didn't seem to have a goal. What were they doing? What were they after?

"This is wrong." She murmured as she took out another one. They were like ants. One went down, two more popped up. "Why are they here? This doesn't make sense…"

It was mass destruction, mass chaos. All around them fights ensued. Arrancar and Shinigami alike fell, blood spilling from their wounds like water from a waterfall. It was a disturbing sight.

Ulquoirra surveyed the destruction from a spot high above the battlefield, safe from danger. Aizen-sama hadn't sent him to fight, after all. He'd been sent as recon, to survey, scope out the area. To find the ones Aizen-sama was seeking.

It turned out to be even less difficult then Ulquoirra would have imagined. He found Hinamori Momo first, fighting near a forest. He watched for a few minutes. She was, he supposed, impressive. He wasn't sure, exactly, why Aizen-sama was interested though. There wasn't anything special about her.

He took his eyes off for a minute, and she was surrounded by Arrancar. How had she allowed herself to be snuck up on so easily? Ulquoirra rolled his eyes. Pathetic.

The Shinigami threw her hand out. It was crackling with lightning. Ulquoirra remembered what Aizen-sama had told him ― the girl was a master of Kido. He watched as she took down one, two, three…

Ten Arrancar had been around her. When she was done, there was zero left. _Now _Ulquoirra was impressed. He took off to find the other one. Kuchiki Rukia.

She was harder to find. She was a small little thing, didn't stand out among the bigger Shinigami around her. But what _did _stand out was her Zanpakatou. The shine that reverberated, even in the dim moonlight, stood out against the mass of black and white that swarmed below Ulquoirra. Like Hinamori, she was supposed to be exceptional at Kido. Ulquoirra would find that out for himself. He watched her carefully. Unlike Hinamori, Kuchiki liked to move a lot. It was harder to keep track of her then it had been her brown-haired accomplice. She was fast, he'd give her that, but other than that he didn't see any reason in pursuing her much further. Like Hinamori, she was an okay fighter, but not worth trying persuade to their side. But then, like Hinamori, she gave a quick but impressive demonstration of her own Kido skills.

Aizen-sama hadn't been kidding. These two girls, for everything they were, were powerful in their own way. They would be of use to Aizen-sama and his cause. If they could be persuaded. But how to do that…

* * *

Momo stared at what remained of her division. She wondered for a moment of a tornado had come through. She might have actually thought that if she hadn't been present for the fight that had lasted until freaking _dawn_.

"This is absolutely depressing."

Ichigo, who was standing beside her, nodded, looking equally upset. "It's going to take _forever _to clean this up."

"I wonder how the other divisions faired."

Ichigo was bouncing a little. It was hard to believe, but he was actually _bouncing_. Obviously anxious about something. His eyes kept darting left and right, as if he was looking for something. Or some_one_…

"Ichigo ― I mean, Captain Kurosaki―" she had to remember that while they were in the division she had to be formal, "if you want to go and find Vice-Captain Kuchiki, feel free. I'll take care of things here."

Ichigo's leg was jouncing a little as he shook his head. "No, I'll stay here. I'm responsible for the division, I can't leave."

"Jeez, what a mess."

Ichigo and Momo jumped and whirled around. Toushirou was standing behind them, surveying the destruction with raised eyebrow. Ichigo made a face.

"What's up Toushirou?"

The white-haired captain scowled. He could no longer protest to Ichigo using his first name, now that they were the same rank. But he still didn't like it.

"Just checking in. Matsumoto's supervising the clean up at our division."

Ichigo nodded. Momo could have _sworn _there was a double meaning to Toushirou's words. But what? She shrugged and changed the subject.

"You see, Captain Kurosaki? Captain Hitsugaya isn't worried about staying in his supervision. Go ahead, check on Vice-Captain Kuchiki. I'll handle things―"

Ichigo was gone before Momo could finish her sentence. "…here."

Toushirou rolled his eyes. "The man's so transparent. I'm surprised Kuchiki hasn't figured it out." Momo laughed.

"Love is funny. The two who are actually _in _love never figure it out."

"That's true." Hitsugaya looked over the fifth division. "Man, you guys got hit hard. Looks like they took out half the building."

"Not our fault we're right in the middle of the fire line."

"That's true." Toushirou sighed, looking over at Momo.

_"I'll take care of everything here. Just go and make sure she's all right. Though I'm sure you'd know already if she wasn't."_

_Toushirou narrowed his eyes suspiciously.. "You're being awfully kind. What's the catch?"_

_"No catch." Rangiku protested. "Momo-san is my friend. I want her to be okay. I know you do too. Plus if you're there, Ichigo will head off to find Rukia, so I'll know _she's _all right too. I win both ways in the end, and you and Ichigo get what you both want. See?"_

_Toushirou rolled his eyes. Why'd Rangiku have to be so annoying? He was willing to take her up on her offer, however…_

"So your division's not that bad, then?" Momo's voice snapped Toushirou back to reality. She was watching him curiously.

"What? Oh, yeah, nothing big or bad. Definitely had worse. Lost a small section of the building, that's easy enough to fix though. Mostly knocked over trees and stuff."

Ugh. Why the _hell _was he babbling? He sounded like some love struck fool. How pathetic.

* * *

"This place looks like hell."

Ukitake and Rukia looked over their shoulders. Ichigo was standing behind them, looking around at devastation that was the thirteenth division. And he'd thought _his _place looked bad…

"Don't you have something better to do then _bother _us?" Ukitake smiled faintly.

"Now, now Rukia. Be kind to Ichigo, he's a guest in our division after all."

"Ugh." Rukia rolled her eyes, obviously not moved by what Ukitake had said. "He's not a guest, he's annoying."

Ukitake laughed. Ichigo glowered at Rukia, who smirked back at him. "So what can we do for you, Ichigo?"

"Nothing much." Ichigo shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. "You know, going around, checking out the other divisions. I thought mine topped the disaster area zone, but yours…well, I'd say you win."

"Do we get a medal?" Rukia asked sarcastically. Ichigo, being of childish nature, stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture. Ukitake rolled his eyes at the two of them and carefully snuck away to check out the rest of the division. Rukia and Ichigo glared at each other for almost five minutes before they realized he was gone.

"Where'd Captain Ukitake go?"

Rukia looked around, then made a noise in the back of her throat. "Great. Thanks a lot Captain."

Ichigo smiled at her turned back. She was safe. She could throw around every insult she wanted now, he didn't care, she was safe and that was all that mattered to him.

Momo was safe. Rukia was safe. So then what had the point of the attack been? Why had the Arrancar bothered?

* * *

"You have located both of them?"

"Yes sir. Kuchiki Rukia is, as you guessed, the thirteenth division vice-captain. Hinamori Momo is still the fifth division vice-captain. They spend their time either in their divisions or at their homes. They both live in the south end of the Seireitei, both alone. They're easy targets."

Aizen listened to Ulquoirra's report, nodding. Everything he had already guessed. But at least now he had solid locations. He could take them both whenever he wanted.

"Thank you, Ulquoirra. You may go."

Ulquoirra nodded once before leaving. Aizen allowed a small smile cross his face as he watched the Arrancar walk away.

"This is a lot of trouble for a couple of kids." Ichimaru commented idly.

Kids." Aizen smirked a little. "They'd be valuable to have on our side, for more reasons then one."

"Oh?" Ichimaru raised an eyebrow. "You always have something in mind, don't you? Tell me, Aizen-sama, how do you plan on getting to the two of them anyway?"

"That's easy. Kuchiki and Hinamori both have an obvious weakness ― so obvious even _they _don't realize it."

Ichimaru cocked his head. "And what might that be?"

* * *

"What makes you think _I'd _understand how that psycho's mind works?"

"Well, you know, you're really smart and everything, maybe you would see some angle we missed―"

"He's crazy, what more do you need to know?"

Ichigo sighed. Okay, so asking Ishida Uryu to try and figure out what had happened in Soul Society was a bad idea. But Ichigo was desperate, and a fresh eye sometimes helped…

Not this time though.

"So tell us again." Orihime spoke up. She was sitting on the back of the bench, her chin resting in her hands. "You said…Aizen was after Kuchiki-san and Hinamori-san, right? Do you know why?"

"Not a clue." Ichigo rested his hands behind his head, sighing. "I mean, they're both fairly powerful, but there's stronger Shinigami around, so I don't see why he'd be so interested in them. And at any rate, that doesn't explain this morning's battle. Rukia and Momo are both perfectly safe. Or Momo is, at any rate. Rukia disappeared around noon. Don't worry, she always does that," he added to the panicked look on Orihime's face, "she goes off somewhere to train or something, I don't know what she's doing, exactly. She's all right though."

The small group sighed, looking up towards the sky. Uryu was the first to look down again. He was surveying Ichigo critically. "I see you've been busy."

Ichigo looked down at his captain robes. "Yeah…I just kind of fell into this, the fifth squad captain was just killed on a scouting mission. I was the only one available, so they…threw me into the line-up."

"Well that's just great." Uryu rolled his eyes. "Just one more thing to add to your ego, I suppose."

"Funny." Ichigo scowled.

"Just don't get in over your head, okay? You can't afford to spend another fifteen years in the asylum."

"Oh shut up." Ichigo made a face. People just _loved _to make fun of him over that, didn't they?

"So what now?" Orihime asked, raising an eyebrow. Ichigo shook his head, sighing.

"I don't know. I guess all any of us can really do now is bind our time and wait. I wish I knew what Aizen was planning though…"

"The butterfly doesn't see the spider until it's too late, does it?" Uryu asked. Ichigo, of course, had _no _clue what _that _meant. He decided nodding in agreement was the best course of action to take.

"I'd better get back. I'm supposed to be helping clean up the division."

"Kurosaki-kun?" Ichigo stopped, his back turned, and looked over his shoulder at Orihime.

"Yeah? What's up?"

The woman was standing, a concerned look on her face. "Please. Be careful."

He smirked. "_Careful _is my middle name."

Uryu snorted. "Then you must have two middle names, because _not _has to be before that."

"Funny. See you guys later."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I had to write Uryu and Orihime in _somewhere_, didn't I? Anyways, I posted a poll regarding the whole "Rukia+Bankai" thing, go vote please! I got so many mixed reactions I decided I'd let a poll decide. Of course, I might still do it no matter what the poll says. But I do like to take my readers into consideration. Oh (this is something people who didn't want Rukia to have Bankai mentioned), if I _do _give it to her, it won't be anything flashy or fancy. It'll be simple. Much like Rukia herself. Okay, that's all I've got. Review please! -- Sam


	4. The Deadly Offer

**Author's Note: **Just a quick note before we start: Renji isn't dead. He's not the sixth squad vice-captain anymore. I mentioned in _All In Your Head _that he was a captain. Ninth Squad, because I don't think I ever said which division. No, he's very much alive. In fact I'm fairly certain I mentioned him in the first chapter (though I haven't shown him, I know). Okay, on with the story.

* * *

**Inner Conflict ― IV**

"…Okay. Enough. Lower your swords."

The younger Shinigami all stopped, confused looks on their faces. Ichigo was ready to _hide _his face. He was ashamed. Had _he _ever been this bad at fighting? How had he lived as long as he had?

"What's up Captain?"

"Look, don't take this the wrong way, but…you all suck." A collective mutter went through the small group.

"Captain Kurosaki that wasn't very nice." Momo was standing behind Ichigo, giggling. He made a face.

"No…I guess it wasn't." He turned back to the new Shinigami, who were all watching him expectantly. "All right, all right. I didn't mean you suck―" _well maybe I did…_ "I just meant you…need work. A lot of work. None of you are putting any heart into your swings, you don't have any discipline, any…real reason to fight, you know? You need to _want _to get stronger, to _want_ to fight. You need…you need resolve. Get it?"

Momo listened to Ichigo's attempt to be nice. It was, she supposed, an interesting thing. She wasn't used to seeing Kurosaki Ichigo's _kind _side.

She smiled and turned to walk away. Interesting indeed.

She stopped, her eyes dodging upward to look at a tree. Another interesting thing was the fact that Hitsugaya Toushirou seemed to spending more time in _her _division then in his own.

Toushirou knew Momo had spotted him. He didn't care. He'd been following Momo ever since the attack a week earlier. He was still unsettled by that, still trying to figure out _why _the Arrancar had attacked without any reason. Other than causing hell and half destroying eight of the thirteen divisions, there was no real damage, no one hurt, no one dead, and no one missing. What was the point of any of it?

"I don't get it." He murmured, looking up at the clouds. There was a light wind, ruffling his hair. He sighed as he closed his eyes. "What are you planning…Aizen?"

He was speaking louder than he realized. Momo, who was standing beneath him, waiting for him to acknowledge her, gasped, her eyes widening. Toushirou jumped; he hadn't realized she was still hanging around.

"Hinamori―?"

"Shirou-chan." Her voice was low but commanding. "Please…_please _tell me what's going on. You've been acting so weird lately…Ichigo too, he's been acting strangely, _all _the captains have…Shirou-chan, I―"

Without warning, he was standing in front of her. His face was more serious then she had ever seen it before, but there was a spark of concern in his emerald green eyes.

"Just _listen _Hinamori. Please. I try not to do this often, but I'm worried about you. So _please_, just promise me something."

"I ― sure. Anything you want."

"Promise me that, no matter what happens…you'll always remember who you are."

Momo was confused. Something was _definitely _wrong. But she nodded. "Of course, Shirou-chan. How could I?"

"Just promise." He looked as if her promise was the only thing in the world that mattered. Momo's suspicions intensified. Why wouldn't anyone tell her what was going on?

"I…I promise, Shirou-chan."

Toushirou smiled. It was a tight smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Good."

And he was gone. Momo just stared. What the hell had _that _been all about?

* * *

Rukia stirred, her eyes fluttering open. _Ugh_, she groaned silently, _what the hell? It's―_

She looked at the clock on her bedside table, _three-thirty in the morning. Why am I awake?_

She rolled over, all thoughts focused on falling back asleep. She was tired, after all. It had been a long ― though fulfilling ― day.

Then she felt it again. The surge of spiritual pressure, the chill that ran up and down her spine. Someone was in her house. She bolted up, her eyes wide, alert yet weary. She grabbed her Zanpakatou sheath and started downstairs, ready to draw Shirayuki at any moment.

"Here kitty-kitty." She murmured, her eyes dodging left and right. Too bad the attack came from behind.

"_Oof_!"

She grunted as something hit her in the back of the head, pitching her forward. She pushed herself up on her hands and knees, rubbing the back of her head. She felt something sticky when she pulled her hand away. Blood.

"What―"

She didn't quite manage to turn around fully before the invisible assailant struck her again. Then everything went black.

"…Rukia-san? Rukia-_san_…"

All Rukia could do was groan. "Wha―"

Momo sighed. "Thank _God_. I was worried. Are you okay?"

"Ow." Rukia sat up, rubbing the back of her head. "Oh _jeez_, ow…damn it, what the hell happened?"

Momo shrugged. "I…I don't really know. I just…woke up and I was here. And you were here, and you were hurt…"

Rukia's eyes widened. She jumped up, violet eyes dodging back and forth. She was in the forest, that much she could gather. "Screw this. I'm hot hanging around."

She started to walk away. "Rukia-san, don't―"

_Wham!_

She'd walked into an invisible wall. "Ow." She muttered, stumbling back. She looked up. "Gah…what the hell?"

She looked back at Momo, who was staring guiltily at the ground. "Sorry Rukia-san. They…they made me."

Rukia looked forward again. "A Kido wall? Wait…_who _made you?"

"I believe she would be referring to us."

Rukia whirled around, her eyes wide. They narrowed at the two figures standing before her. "Ichimaru…and Aizen. What a surprise."

Hatred flared inside Rukia at the sight of the men. How the hell had they gotten into Soul Society undetected? And what were they doing here anyway?

"What's going on?" She demanded, her voice harsh. Momo stood silently beside her, her chocolate brown eyes locked on the ground. Rukia knew, from their last trip to Hueco Mundo, that the fifth squad vice-captain still could not bring herself to face her former captain, still could not look him in the eye without becoming what she had once been ― an admiring subordinate who could do only what she was told by the person admired the most. And that would be dangerous considering _he _was the enemy.

Rukia, on the other hand, had zero problems looking into the faces of the two men she despised most. The two men who had signed her death warrant, then tried to kill everyone who tried to protect her. Byakuya. Renji. Ichigo…

"Damn it. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Now, now." Ichimaru spoke in a condescending tone. "That's no way to speak to your elders, Rukia-san."

"I'm not much of a person for respect." Rukia scoffed. "I'll say it again ― _what are you doing here_?"

A small smile played over Aizen's lips. "I can understand why you would want to get right to the point. It's late, and our call was rather…unprecedented. I'll grant your wish. You want to know why we're here in front of you? The answer is simple ― we wish for you to join us."

* * *

"Are you all right, Vice-Captain?"

Momo jumped a mile and jerked her head up. She'd been sitting under a tree, her legs curled up to her chest, her arms around her legs, her forehead resting on her knees. Now she found herself looking into the concern-filled eyes of one of her subordinates. She tried to smile.

"Yup. Yeah. Just fine. Didn't sleep much last night. Tired. Don't worry about me."

Her seemingly endless chatter didn't put off the younger Shinigami. "Are you sure?"

"Yup, yup, no problem. Why don't you go find someone to train with? Your form could use some work, you should really practice."

The Shinigami blushed lightly and nodded. "O-Okay. I'll do that. Thank you, Vice-Captain."

He took off. Momo stared after him for a little while, then went back to her stupor.

_"_Us_? Join _you_?" Rukia laughed. "Get real!"_

_Aizen kept a straight face. Momo knew, from his tone of voice, he was serious. "Rukia-san―"_

_"No, let me finish Momo-san." She glared right into Aizen's eyes. It was a glare that had made even the bravest men ― even _Ichigo _― back down. "You tried to kill us. _Both _of us. Me, more than once. You _destroyed _her―" The enraged violet-eyed girl jerked a finger back at Momo, "in more ways then one, you tried to slaughter our friends, the people we care about, and obliterate our home. You drove the man I―" Momo blinked and shifted her eyes towards Rukia. What a time for a love confession. "You drove _Ichigo_ insane―" So much for that._

_"Funny, I thought that was you."_

_"And you made a lot of lives a general hell!" She pretended she hadn't heard the last part. "And you want us to _join _you?! I'd sooner bite my own tongue off!"_

_A beat of silence followed Rukia's rant. "I told you she'd be difficult." Ichimaru sighed, shaking his head._

_"You're damn right I'm going to be difficult!" Rukia raged. Momo took a few steps back from the slightly crazed vice-captain. She could be _scary _when she was mad. "If you think I would ever even _consider_―"_

_"You misunderstood me, Rukia-san." Aizen cut Rukia off, still calm. "You see, I'm not _asking _you to join me. You don't have a choice."_

_That stopped Rukia cold. Momo finally brought herself to look up. Big mistake. The dark eyes she had once looked into, looked up at in admiration, were now boring into her own, wide eyes. Into her heart. Her body seized up. _Why _did it have to be like this…?_

_"Momo-san, focus on me." Momo looked over at Rukia in surprise. "Just me, Momo-san."_

_Momo nodded. She would gladly step back and let Rukia do all the talking. Because if there was one thing Kuchiki Rukia was good at, it was talking. Especially when it came to something like _this_. "What do you mean 'we don't have a choice'?" She demanded, giving Aizen her same, killer glare. "I don't know how you plan on making us."_

_"It's actually quite simple, Rukia-san." Aizen said, his voice cool, even. "If you give me what I want, I'll give both of you what _you _want."_

_"Really? 'Cause we want you dead."_

_"Perhaps. But you also want are the lives of Kurosaki Ichigo and Hitsugaya Toushirou spared."_

"Momo?"

And again with being interrupted. Momo raised her head to look up into the amber eyes of her captain.

"Ichigo. What's up?"

"Back atcha." Ichigo sat down next to her, crossing his legs. "You all right? You've been pretty quiet today."

"I'm…fine. Don't worry about me, I'm all right."

"You sure?"

_What a time for Rukia to rendered speechless. Momo needed her desperate chatter, her angry outbursts, her rants to hide behind._

_"You know I could kill them, if I wanted to. You know I almost have. Perhaps next time I'll succeed, if I'm…motivated enough."_

_Rukia was now shaking beside Momo. Or maybe that _was _Momo shaking. Maybe it was both. Momo couldn't tell anymore._

"Y-Yeah. I'm sure. Don't worry about me, Ichigo."

Ichigo sighed as he stood up and left. "If you're sure…"

_"Don't make your decision right away. I'll give you a couple of days to sleep on it, though I…_am _expecting a positive response. And be warned ― if you tell anyone else of what's happened tonight, we'll know ― and you'll _all _die."_

_"And if we still refuse?"_

_"Then _everyone _dies."_

_And with that, Ichimaru and Aizen were gone. Momo shook has she dropped the Kido barrier._

_"What now?"_

"What now?" She repeated the question to the sky. "What do we do now?"

"The only thing we're capable of, Momo-san." Momo looked up into the branches of the tree she was sitting in. Rukia was sitting far off the ground, leaning against the trunk of the tree, her eyes closed, her head back.

"And what's _that_, Rukia-san?"

"We protect them…protect the ones we love."

"I'm not a traitor." Momo said, her voice low, reproachful.

"Nor am I. But I won't…I won't be responsible for anymore pain, any death. Not again."

A single tear slipped down Rukia's face, unnoticed by her. Momo was surprised. She hadn't seen Rukia cry _once _since Ichigo's return. It just went to show how much pain she was in now.

"We've no choice now."

"Momo-san…I don't think we ever had one to begin with."

* * *

**Author's Note: **You're probably annoyed that this is a little late. Sorry. I had vacation...and I was still holding out for reviews. Anyways, if this will get me more reviews, I'll tell you something about the next chapter -- _lots _of IchiRuki and HitsuHina. So...review please? -- Sam


	5. Their Protectors

** Inner Conflict ― V**

"Ah!" Ichigo shot up in bed, gasping for breath. "God damn you." He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Get out of my head."

_Make me, _the hollow taunted. Ichigo growled.

"Why've you been so quiet anyway? Trying to lull me into a false sense of security?"

_Not quite. Good guess though. Nah, I just haven't had any reason to come out. Now though…_

"What do you mean you haven't had a reason? Isn't annoying me enough?" Ichigo blinked. "Wait, what's changed?"

The hollow laughed. _Come on Ichigo, even _you _can't be that dim. You must realize who's here. Well, not _here_, here. But here in Soul Society here. Well?_

"You've lost me."

_Of course I have, _and he fell silent again.

"Hey, _hey_! Get back here, answer my questions!"

Silence. "_Bastard_." Ichigo growled under his breath, lying back down on his bed. "Gah, screw this. I'm not going back to sleep."

He threw the blankets back, scowling and muttering, annoyed. _Wonder what a full night's sleep is like_, he thought distantly as he grabbed a jacket and threw it on, storming out into the cold night. He'd never conformed to wearing the old-fashioned clothes of Soul Society. He was too stuck in his own ways, refusing to get rid of his jeans and t-shirts when he was home at night.

The streets of the Seireitei were quiet, dark, empty. Perfect for Ichigo, who wanted to be alone.

"Ichigo?"

Or not. The orange-haired captain looked up and found himself staring into the violet eyes of his ever annoying companion.

"Rukia. What's up?"

"Right back atcha." She walked over to him. Ichigo noticed she was in her Shinigami robes. "What are you doing up this late?"

"What are _you _doing up this late ― and fully dressed for that matter." She made a face.

"I…fancied a walk."

"Couldn't sleep either?"

"Nope."

They walked in silence. Ichigo realized that this was the first time they had been alone together in awhile ― alone and not arguing, at any rate.

"So what brings _you _out at this late hour?" Ichigo jumped and looked down at the Shinigami walking beside him. Fifteen years of separation truly hadn't changed her.

"That annoying voice inside my head."

"Hearing voices isn't a good sign, you know."

"Well. I've already gone crazy once, what's one more time?"

"Yeah, right." Rukia's voice was low, distant. Ichigo sighed. He never knew when it was the right time to make jokes and when to just shut the hell up. "So then the hollow is…"

"Yeah." Ichigo ran a hand through his spiky orange hair. "I don't know what he's playing at. Seems to think there's someone here worth coming out for. He wouldn't answer me when I asked what he was talking about though…"

He felt Rukia stiffen beside him. _What's her problem? _He wondered silently.

_You really _are _stupid, you know that right?_

_Shut the hell up. If you don't have anything useful to say, then keep your opinion to yourself._

"What do you think he meant?" Rukia's voice brought him back to reality. He shrugged.

"Who the hell knows? And right now, who really cares?" Ichigo sighed. "I just wish things would go back to normal."

"Normal. Right. What's that again?"

"Good point."

They both sighed. Ichigo looked down at Rukia again. She looked distracted, upset. He had half a second to wonder what was wrong before she said, "Take a picture, it last longer."

He scowled. "Aw…shut up."

She smiled a small, tiny smile. He rolled his eyes, then yawned. "Ah screw this." He murmured. "I'm going home and going back to bed."

"You do that. I'm going to walk for a little while longer."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I need to…to clear my head."

"Whatever." Ichigo stretched his arms over his head as he turned to head home. "See you later Rukia."

"Yeah."

He hadn't gotten that far away before he turned to look at her retreating back. "Hey, Rukia?"

She turned to look back at him. "Yeah?"

But the words he wanted to say sounded stupid, even in his head. "Ah…don't get lost."

"You're funny."

She didn't get that his words held more than one meaning.

* * *

"You look like hell." Toushirou said conversationally. Momo had disappeared for a little while, and he'd finally tracked her down to their old home, the place they had lived before they had entered the Shinigami Academy. The place had been abandoned for years now. "And why are you here, anyway?"

Momo looked up into the captain's emerald green eyes. "What? I don't know, I needed somewhere to go, to think. What do you want anyway, Shirou-chan?"

"I suppose telling you _not _to call me that would be a waste of breath?" She didn't answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Why do I even bother sometimes…"

His voice trailed off into annoyed mutters. He sat down next to Momo and looked up at the sky. He could still remember sitting there many years before, eating twice his weight in watermelon, trying to ignore her meaningless babbles. It seemed like an entire lifetime now. So much had happened, so much had changed.

"So you came here because you needed somewhere to think?"

Momo shrugged, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "Yeah. You know…I came here a lot after Captain — after I woke up after what happened the day of Rukia-san's execution."

Toushirou's face tightened. _That _was a day that would be burned into his mind for as long as he lived. He would most likely bring it into whatever afterlife he traveled to as well. His thoughts burned with hatred for Aizen, as they often did these days.

"Shirou-chan?"

Momo's voice brought him back to reality. "Yeah?" He answered, not even bothering to complain about her nickname for him.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?"

He raised an eyebrow, surprised. He was usually good at identifying what Momo was thinking. At the moment though…he was coming up blank. "What the…_hell _would make you ask a question like that?"

"Because…" She sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. "Because…even after everything he's done…even after all the terrible things that have happened, even knowing all the people he's tried to kill…_has _killed…if Captain Ai— if _Aizen _were to appear in front of me right now—" _I'd kill him_, Toushirou thought venomously, "and give me an order, I wouldn't be able to disobey. I…I _can't_, Shirou-chan. I just _can't_."

Toushirou listened to this silently, his eyes on the ground. He was surprised she couldn't feel the hate radiating off of him. That _bastard_. If Aizen _were _to appear in front of them at that moment, Toushirou wouldn't just _kill _him. He'd tear him into tiny little pieces, chop the pieces up into even _smaller _pieces, and feed them to the _rodents_. No. Aizen wasn't even fit to be rat food. Toushirou would be happy when the day came that they would be entering Hueco Mundo to fight. Because when that day came…Aizen _would _die. Toushirou would see to it personally.

Momo was watching Toushirou anxiously, waiting for his answer. "Shirou-chan—?"

"No, Hinamori." His voice was low, almost inaudible. "You're not a bad person. Not at _all_. You are, without a doubt, one of the best people I've ever met. You're good, and pure, and kind, and you don't have even one _drop _of hatred in you, which is more than _any _of us in the Gotei Thirteen can say. You're a wonderful person, Hinamori, as far from _bad_ as they get. And don't _ever _forget it."

Momo's eyes filled with tears. _You're wrong_, she wanted to say. _Wrong. I'm not good, not at all. I'm a traitor, a traitor! Why don't you see that?_

Toushirou saw her tearing up. _Oh great, what'd I say wrong? Aw damn it, why do women have to be so _confusing_?_

"Hinamori—"

"Shirou-chan—" She sniffed, rubbing her eyes, "Toushirou, Captain Hitsugaya…thank you."

Something was definitely wrong. He couldn't recall a time in his life she had ever called him anything other than _Shirou-chan_.

She stood up. He stood with her. "Hinamori, talk to me. What's wrong?"

She shook her head. Was this, he wondered, payback for not telling her what was going on? She'd guessed something was wrong, guessed that he knew, and he had refused to tell her. Was this her revenge?

"Hinamori—"

Without warning she flung her arms around his neck, drawing him into a hug. He floundered for a second, unsure of what to do. For everything she was, Hinamori Momo was _not _one to display her emotions. Not like _this_.

And she was crying, her face buried in his shoulder. He sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her close.

"It's all right." He murmured every now and then. He was terrible at comforting people. But he loved having her here in his arms. Here, where he could protect her from everything. Including herself.

"I won't let him touch you." He whispered in her ear. She bit her lip so her thoughts wouldn't accidentally slip out.

_Too bad he already has_.

* * *

_You're really starting to annoy me._

_Well _you've _annoyed me for awhile King. So I guess we're even, aren't we?_

_Oh shut up. What's with you lately anyway? You were quiet for a bit. Why can't you go back to doing that?  
_

_I _told _you, King. Things have changed. I think it's time you get those ears of yours checked, Ichigo._

_If I was hearing you with me _ears_, I'd have bought earplugs a _long _time ago. If only it were that easy._

"You look like you're in deep thought."

Ichigo looked up and saw Rukia staring down at him. Her face was impassive, as usual. "Yeah." He looked back out at the water. He was sitting by a river just outside of the Seireitei. "Guess I am. So to speak."

"Talking to him?" Rukia sat down next to the orange-haired captain. He nodded. He knew it was no use trying to hide things from her. Things like _that_. "Does he have a name?"

The question surprised Ichigo. "No…I guess not. He never told me if he does. I've always just referred to him as the hollow."

"Ever thought to ask him?"

_Tell her to buzz of, would ya? She's starting to bug me._

_I don't know, there's something in what she's saying. _Do _you have a name?_

_Wouldn't tell you if I did._

"He says he wouldn't tell me even if he did." Ichigo shrugged. "He's a pain in the ass, really. I don't know why I even care."

_I notice you neglected to tell her the 'back off' part of the message._

_She wouldn't listen to me if I did. She'd stay just to annoy me._

She's _annoying. Can't we just get _rid _of her?_

_You'd better not lay one _hand _on her! I'd kill myself before I let you hurt her!_

_I'd like to see you try. It'd definitely be interesting._

"Talking to him now?"

It was so confusing, trying to hold two conversation at once. "Yeah. I wish he'd just can it. I'm getting tired of listening to him."

Rukia nodded, looking out the water, her eyes empty. "Hey…Ichigo. Can I ask…_him_ something? Or…can you ask him for me?"

Ichigo was surprised. No one had ever tried to speak to the hollow other than him and Zangetsu. "I…I guess so. If you want to."

Rukia didn't say anything at first. She narrowed her eyes at the water. "The hollow…it's a part of you. But it doesn't…_want _the same things _you _want. So then what…what _does _it want, if not the same things as you?"

_Power, of course_, the hollow spoke instantly, _screw right and wrong, it's all about the power, who cares where it comes from?_

"Power." Ichigo spoke the word aloud. Rukia nodded.

"And it…doesn't care what price it has to pay for that, right?" Ichigo nodded, surprised. "It would do anything for power, betray everyone, sacrifice millions of lives, all for the sake of power. Am I right?"

_Girl's got it. I am interested in how she got all that from your one-word answer_.

Ichigo was interested too. "Yeah…yeah that's right."

Rukia closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

She pushed herself up. "Sorry I interrupted you. I'll go now."

_She's an interesting one King. I think I'd like to know what's going on in that pretty little head of her's before I kill her._

_I told you not to _touch_ her, _Ichigo hissed venomously. _Leave her alone_.

He stood as well. "Here, I'll walk you home."

"I think I can get home on my own, Ichigo."

"You sure about that?" He muttered, earning himself a kick in the shin. "_Ow_…"

They started walking in silence. Ichigo couldn't think of anything to say. But sometimes, between certain people, words were unnecessary. Ichigo and Rukia were those kind of people. They made it to Rukia's house without uttering a single word.

"Well…" Ichigo said, suddenly finding himself unwilling to let her out of his sight. "Good night."

"Yeah…night." She half turned to look at the house. Then, to his complete and utter surprise, she turned back to him and threw her arms around his neck.

The hug was brief. Ichigo wasn't even sure it happened. But before he could do anything, Rukia pulled away again, her eyes on the ground, her arms hanging loosely by her side. Ichigo was too shocked to fully register what had happened. "R…Rukia—?"

"Ichigo, promise me something." He blinked.

"S-Sure. Of course. Anything."

"Promise me that…no matter what happens…you'll never hate me." The words surprised Ichigo more than anything Rukia had said or done all night.

"W-What—?"

"Please. Just promise me."

"I…Rukia I could never hate you, even if I tried."

"Good." She turned away from him and started walking up the path to her front steps. He thought he heard her mutter, "I couldn't die peacefully if I thought you hated me."

"_What_? Rukia—"

But she disappeared inside before he could say anything more. "Damn. What's _with _her?"

Rukia closed the door behind her, leaning against it and burying her face in her hands. Ichigo's promise was important to her. Because, no matter what happened, she had no plans of living after Soul Society learned what she and Momo were doing. If they didn't kill her…she'd take her own life. She didn't care anymore.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hmn...so...review? Please? Also, if you have an extra minute, check out my new story, _Heart and Soul_. I'm hoping that takes off, I really like it. Okies. Review -- Sam


	6. Behind Enemy Lines

**Inner Conflict -- VI**

_Rukia knew exactly what the hollow was thinking without me telling her. How did she know though? What was she thinking? And why did she ask to begin with? God damn it that girl confuses me sometimes…_

Ichigo's thoughts were a muddled mess. He was finding it almost impossible to focus on the meeting. Every thought he had was directed towards a certain raven-haired girl, trying to figure out her latest strange behavior.

Across the hall from him, another captain was wrapped up in his own thoughts about another vice-captain.

_Where did that come from all of a sudden? Is she worried about Aizen coming after her? Does she…oh God, does she _know_? Did Kurosaki let something slip? I'll kill him! How could he let her find out, he swore he wouldn't! Or maybe it's my fault. Ugh…I have a headache._

Toushirou scowled at the ground. The scene yesterday with Hinamori was still stuck in his mind. He doubted he'd ever be able to forget it. She'd seemed so…so small at that moment, so scared. It was a hard thing to forget.

_Aizen…you bastard. You broke her. I'm going to break _you _when I get my hands on you, just wait._

* * *

"So they've got no plans to come in anytime soon?" Ichimaru sounded disappointed. Rukia bit her tongue hard to keep from shouting out the insults that were floating around in her head.

"No." Hinamori was the one doing all the talking. "Where they just sent some people out on a recon mission, I doubt they'll be sending anymore any time soon. They try to wait awhile before sending more out."

"Ah well, that makes sense." Ichimaru sighed. "So who's stationed in the living world at the moment? I know Hisagi was there…but alas, he's with us at the moment."

Rukia bit down harder, tasting blood now. "Matsumoto Rangiku. She was deployed today."

"Ooo, Rangiku eh? Maybe I'll drop in and visit her, it's been too long since we saw each other…"

"What about the other people you've taken?" Rukia asked suddenly, surprising Hinamori, Ichimaru, and herself. "Vice-Captain Ise, Ikkaku, Kiyone, and all the others that are missing, are they still alive?"

"Of course they are." Ichimaru waved Rukia off. Rukia felt a wave of relief for the third seat of her squad. Sentarou had been heartbroken when _she _had disappeared. "We haven't killed anybody…anybody we've captured." He added when Rukia opened her mouth to protest this fact. "Not something you Shinigami can say, I'm sure."

Rukia bit her lip. It was true that any Arrancar they had captured had been sent right to the twelfth division. What was done with them after that was something only the members of the research and development division would know. Rukia doubted they were _dead_, though. Kurotshuchi would never pass up such valuable lab rats.

"I doubt Captain Kurotshuchi has _killed _any of them." Hinamori gave voice to Rukia's thoughts.

"Maybe not, but they certainly wouldn't be of use to us were we to try and take them back." Ichimaru shook his head. "I've seen what he does to his subjects, it's not pretty."

Hinamori and Rukia offered no arguments. They _had _no arguments. Because everything Ichimaru had said was completely true. "Oh well." Ichimaru clapped his hands together uncaringly. "Nothing else I need to know, is there?"

Both vice-captains shook their heads. "No one's suspicious of you?"

"No."

"Good, good. Aizen will be pleased." Hinamori flinched upon hearing the name. "Oh, sorry Momo-san, you're still sensitive about him, aren't you?"

Hinamori didn't answer. Rukia knew she should try and comfort the girl, but now just wasn't the time. "Well then, I'll be back tomorrow night, same time. Try to stay out of trouble until then."

He turned to walk away. "Is this all you're going to use us for?" Rukia asked his retreating back. "Information, spying?"

"No, eventually we plan on using you to fight as well." Ichimaru said casually, raising a hand and waving over his shoulder. "But until that time comes, you might as well be useful for something else."

He left the clearing without another word. "I don't know how long I can do this Rukia-san." Hinamori whispered, leaning against a tree. "I'm not good at deception, I can't tell a lie to save my life. What should I do?"

"Leave the lying to me." Rukia said. "That's not a problem. In fact it's second nature to me. What I'm worried about is the fighting part."

"Why's that? You don't think we're strong enough?"

"If that were the only thing on my mind, I wouldn't be worried. I'll gladly let them kill me, save me the trouble of doing it myself later." Momo didn't have time to ask what she meant by _that_. "But that's just the problem. They _won't _kill us. Or…most of them won't anyway. Not the people that really know us, people like Ichigo and Captain Hitsugaya. They won't fight. And that's what makes this so hard. We'll fight. But they won't fight back."

Momo hated to admit it, but Rukia was right. No one would fight them. This was a no-win situation.

"We're as bad as him." Rukia muttered suddenly, surprising Momo. "We're sacrificing everybody for the sake of what _we _want."

Momo decided she was better off just not asking.

* * *

"What the _hell _was I thinking asking _you_?" Toushirou murmured, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at his vice-captain. It had been a good idea at the time, making a trip to Karakura to talk to Rangiku, who was currently stationed there. They were sitting at a park, talking. Toushirou was regretting coming.

"I just think it's so cute that you're concerned for her—"

"Matsumoto…_please _shut up."

" I _knew _you cared about her—"

"I'm leaving." Toushirou stood up and started to walk away.

"No wait, wait!" Rangiku stood up hurriedly and ran after him. "Sorry, I'll stop. I know you just want to help her. I'll behave."

"You're capable of doing that?"

"…More or less." Toushirou sighed and shook his head. "So, where were we?"

"Hinamori…"

"Right!" Rangiku clapped her hands together. "You're worried that Aizen may have already gotten to her. Tell me why that is again."

"Just…the way she's been acting. I told you what she said to me the other day, right?" Rangiku nodded. "And…I don't know, there's a lot. And Kurosaki was telling me Kuchiki's been acting a little strange too. If Aizen's gotten to them—"

"Rukia-san and Momo-san would _never _let themselves be used by the enemy." Rangiku said firmly. "I know them, they're not the type to just lay down and take what's given to them, _especially _not Rukia-san. And she'll watch out for Momo-san; we all know how she gets when it comes to Aizen. Momo-san has plenty of people looking out for her, she's more than safe."

Toushirou knew Rangiku was right. But he couldn't stop himself from being worried. And he felt guilty. Guilty because he knew Kuchiki Rukia was in just as much danger as Momo, and yet he couldn't bring himself to spare more than one thought for the raven-haired Shinigami. Maybe it was because she had proven just how strong she really was, or maybe it was just because he didn't know her or care about her the way he did Momo. It didn't matter though. Momo was his main concern at the moment.

A sudden surge of familiar spiritual pressure ran through Toushirou. He stiffened, and his mind's eyes was taken over by the image of a silver-haired, smiling, sadistic man. He jumped up, his hand flying to the hilt of his Zanpakatou.

"Ichimaru." He growled. Rangiku, who had stood up as well, tensed. And then the sickeningly familiar voice spoke.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-kun, what a surprise to see you here. And a pleasure as always to see _you_, Rangiku."

And then he stepped out from behind a tree. "Gin." Rangiku breathed, sounding as if someone had just knocked the breath out of her. Toushirou did his best not to groan. What was it with people making connections to the enemy? Aizen and Hinamori, Ichimaru and Matsumoto…

"What the hell do you want?"

"Now, now Hitsugaya-kun, that's not nice." Ichimaru frowned mockingly. "I just came to see Rangiku, I don't want a fight."

"How did you know she was here?" Rangiku had only been there for a day, after all. And according to her there had been no attacks, nothing strange had happened. So who had told Ichimaru that Rangiku was in Karakura?

"I have my ways of finding stuff out. Now then, Hitsugaya-kun. I'm not here to cause trouble, so why don't you just run along back to Soul Society and let Rangiku and I…_talk_."

"Go to _hell_."

Ichimaru sighed and looked past Toushirou, towards Rangiku. "What do you say, Rangiku? You're the one I'm here for, after all, and Hitsugaya-kun doesn't have a say in what you do—"

"Like hell I—!"

"No, Gin."

Rangiku's voice was low but final. Her face darkened as she glared at Gin. "I gave you plenty of chances." She continued. "Hundreds of them. I'm not going with you now because it's _convenient _for you. I'm done giving you chances."

Gin actually looked a little disappointed. "I suppose I understand. It's hard to gain your trust back once one loses it. But how can one try when you won't give them a chance?"

Toushirou growled under his breath, his grip on the hilt of his Zanpakatou tightening. What he wouldn't have given to run Ichimaru through with it, to make him hurt, bleed, suffer—

"Why are you here, Gin? And I know it can't just be to talk to me."

Ichimaru thought for a second, looking around, his face mildly interested. "Karakura's an interesting place, innit? Lots of people around just oozing spiritual pressure and they don't even realize it. That's why this place is top priority for you Shinigami, am I right?"

"That doesn't exactly answer my question." Rangiku thought for a minute before adding, "Not that that's any surprise, considering it's coming from _you_."

But Toushirou was reading between the lines. "What does Aizen have planned for this place that's so important he'd send _you_ instead of one of the Arrancar like he normally does?"

"And who said Aizen has _anything _planned?" Ichimaru asked casually. "You shouldn't jump to conclusions like that, Hitsugaya-kun. Well I'm off. Places to be, you know. So long."

And he was gone. Rangiku sighed heavily, dropping back onto the bench, looking suddenly exhausted. Toushirou sighed as well. They were going to have to keep a closer eye on Karakura from now on. Like they weren't stretched out enough already…

* * *

Aizen had _said _not to go looking for Rangiku. But Gin just hadn't been able to help himself. It had been over fifteen years, after all, since he had laid eyes on his old comrade. And though she was hard to forget, Gin still felt the need to refresh his memory a little. Plus, it had been fun, an unexpected but very much enjoyed bonus, taunting Hitsugaya.

The tenth squad captain was right, of course. Aizen had plans for Karakura Town. Just one of his many reasons for wanting Kuchiki and Hinamori, who both knew the small place well. It was going to be too impossibly easy. Gin's smile tightened into a smirk. Soul Society wouldn't be able to stop this time.

* * *

"So Ichimaru was in the living world?" Ichigo asked. Hitsugaya had just returned from said place. He had gone to talk to his vice-captain about something.

"It worries me. And what's more is that he _deliberately _went looking for Matsumoto. He already knew she was there, _she _was his goal. But how could he have found out?"

Ichigo thought for a minute. "You're thinking it's a spy, aren't you?"

Hitsugaya nodded. He looked a little troubled. "It bothers me, and I hate suspecting anyone, but what else is there? Matsumoto was only there for a day and she said it was the most boring day of her life. Nothing happened, nothing attacked her, she didn't even _sense _anything. And yet Ichimaru went straight to her when he got there. How did he know?"

Ichigo didn't have an answer. "That's all very valid, and _I _believe you, but there are holes in your theory. Not everyone will buy it, and accusing someone of being a spy is pretty serious, you'd better have actual proof before you throw it out. And at any rate, who are you thinking?"

"When did you become so rational?" Hitsugaya grumbled. "I didn't say I _definitely _think there's a spy, like you said, it's just a theory. There are other explanations."

"But you believe there is?"

He didn't answer. _This is funny_, the hollow spoke up suddenly. _Funny listening to you two walk around in circles._

_Oh, so you're saying _you _know what's going on?_

_Maybe I do._

_You wouldn't tell me if you did._

_Nope._

Ichigo groaned. "What?" Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow at him. The orange-haired captain shook his head.

"Nothing. Never-mind."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I like writing about Ichimaru. He creeps me out more than you could imagine, but he's funny. I just...wish he wouldn't smile like that...anyways, review please? -- Sam


	7. What Could Have Been

**Inner Conflict — XII**

Rukia had been patient. Or as patient as she was _capable _of being. But the stalker bit was really, really, _really _starting to get old. And did he _really _think she didn't notice him there? He was spilling spiritual pressure with every breath he took, the fool.

"Ichigo stop _following me_!" Rukia snapped finally, whirling around and pinning her orange-haired friend with a violet glare. Ichigo backed up at once, his hands held up in defense.

"I can explain."

"Then by all means feel free to begin anytime before I decide how to make your death slow and torturous." Ichigo winced. What was he supposed to say? That ever since his conversation with Hitsugaya about the possibility of a spy in Soul Society, he had become paranoid and even more protective then he already was? Or that ever since their last heart-to-heart the hollow had taken an interest in her, and now Ichigo's own desires were fueled by _his _need to know more about the raven-haired Shinigami? Both answers sounded crazy, and both could land him in very different kinds of trouble.

He was sweating now. Rukia was waiting for an answer. "Um…well, you see…it's like this…em…er…" _Help!_

_Why should I?_

_You're freakin' useless!_

"Well?" Rukia prompted. Ichigo was sweating buckets now. Sudden, desperation hit him in a large wave. He hoped desperately that it worked.

"I wanted to talk to you about what you said the last time we talked." That caught Rukia for a minute.

"So then _why _didn't you just come out and ask me. You've never had a problem with speaking your mind before."

Crap. "Because…because I knew you wouldn't talk to me if I approached it the wrong way so I've been trying to think—"

"Just spit it out already Ichigo!"

He flinched. Why'd she have to make things so difficult for him? Why couldn't she just be _honest _about whatever was bothering her?

"It's just…I want you to talk to me, Rukia. Please."

His voice was low, pleading. It caught Rukia off-guard. "I'm worried about you, about how secretive you've become. It scares me. The last time you kept secrets from me, you ended up on death row." Rukia flinched at that memory. "It's like the secrets are your way of resigning yourself to the worst fate. And I don't want that for you. You're better than that, you deserve better than that. And I want to help you get it. If you'll let me."

Why, why, _why _did he have to choose _now _of all the times in the freakin' world to become some nice, sensitive, almost _compassionate _human being? Why did he choose _now _to make it hard to keep anything from him, when her secrets were the only thing protecting him?

"Ichigo do you realize how stupid you sound? I mean, just out of curiosity, do you know? Because seriously, I don't think I've heard anything _stupider _in my entire life, and that includes everything I heard out of Kaien-dono's mouth. Just give it a break, okay? I have more important things to worry about right now then whatever's going on in _your _messed up mind."

She turned and left him standing there, staring after her. Gawking, really. She couldn't believe how mean she had just been. Oh well, it was really for his own good. When this was all over, he'd realize that his life was better off without her. He'd _have _to realize that.

_"You know Ichigo loves you too, right?"_

_Rukia nearly choked on the drink she had been sipping. She was with Rangiku and Hinamori at the local bar. Ichigo had been in Soul Society for about three months now. He spent almost any free time he had with Rukia. She wrote it off as, 'they were friends,' and almost everyone had swallowed that excuse. Everyone except Rangiku, apparently._

_"Okay, first of all, what do you mean he loves me? And second of all, the 'too' implies that I love him, which I _don't_—"  
_

_"When are you going to grow up?" Matsumoto asked, waving her hand at Rukia, effectively quieting her. "Honestly, you're not in grade school, it's _okay _to be in love Rukia-san. And it's okay for him to love you — because we all know he does."_

_Hinamori was giggling now. "Hitsugaya Toushirou." Rukia hissed around her drink. Hinamori fell silent at once. Matsumoto rolled her eyes._

_"Honestly, you two are—"_

_"You're not one to talk Matsumoto-san." Hinamori piped up suddenly. "_You're _in love with Renji—"_

_"_Renji_?!" Rukia repeated with a snort, laughing. Matsumoto turned red._

_"You promised you wouldn't tell—!"_

_"Now, now Matsumoto-san." Rukia managed to choke out. "We're not in grade school, it's okay for you to—"_

_"You shouldn't throw stones in glass houses, Rukia-san." Matsumoto spoke stiffly. Hinamori was laughing now too. Matsumoto scowled at both of them, then looked up at something behind them. "Oh, Captain Hitsugaya, come join us!"_

_Hinamori turned beet red and looked over her shoulder so quickly that Rukia was surprised her head didn't come off her shoulders. Nobody was there. Of course. Hinamori swiveled around to glare at Matsumoto._

_"Not funny!"_

_Matsumoto seemed to think it was hysterical. Rukia was beginning to wonder how much the three of them had drank._

_"Oh it was hilarious and you know it." Matsumoto waved Hinamori off. "But, back to the original point of this conversation—"_

_"Can we not go there?" Rukia muttered, hiding her face in her hands. She'd hoped Matsumoto would forget the original topic of conversation._

_"Really Rukia-san." Matsumoto said with a sigh. "It's not like _everyone _doesn't know he loves you. People have been saying it since he saved you from being executed—"_

_"You just _love _dredging up the old memories, don't you?"_

_"So then _why _are you so embarrassed? Why does it matter?"_

Why _couldn't Matsumoto just leave her alone? Rukia wondered as she peaked through her fingers, glaring at the vice-captain in question. Matsumoto looked back with a grin._

Rukia never _had _answered the question. But she could answer it now. It mattered because they could never be together. It mattered because Rukia had no plans of living to see the end of the war. She could tell Ichigo how she felt, she had almost no doubts in her mind that he returned them easily, but why should she subject him to any pain? Easier would be easier for him, when she die, thinking they were always just friends, instead of wondering what could have been. It was easier for him. And that was what she really wanted. She'd already driven him insane once. She wouldn't be responsible if he went again, whether she was alive or not.

* * *

Momo sighed as she stared up at the ceiling. She was tired, but sleep seemed almost eager to avoid her. It wasn't fair. What had she done to suffer like this?

Oh yeah. She'd betrayed everyone she had ever cared about in the name of _one _person.

Momo sighed again and rolled over onto her side, glaring at her sheathed Zanpakatou, which was leaning against the wall. She and Rukia were supposed to go and meet Ichimaru tomorrow night to report anything new they had learned. Except they hadn't learned anything new. This worried Momo slightly. What if Aizen decided they weren't needed anymore? Would he kill them? Would he kill Ichigo and Toushirou in their place? Momo knew Rukia could live with the first option — and in a way, so could she. But _neither _would be able to live with the second option.

It just wasn't fair.

Alarms suddenly rented the quiet air, startling Momo. She flew out of bed, grabbing her Zanpakatou and struggling into her Shinigami robes as she ran. Wonderful. Like she didn't have enough to worry about—

"Uh-uh-uh." A hand grabbed Momo as she ran outside. She suppressed a shriek as she whirled around. Around her, other Shinigami were leaving their houses, preparing to fight the Arrancar that littered the streets. Ichimaru Gin was shrouded in the shadow of Momo's house, invisible to everyone. But her.

"What are you doing?" She demanded, surprised by her daring. Usually Rukia was the only one that spoke to Ichimaru.

"Standing here talking to you, what does it look like?"

"Funny." Momo snapped. Wow, she was daring tonight. "What in the world are you attacking for?"

"A few things." Ichimaru said simply. "Aizen's decided you and Rukia-chan aren't doing him much good here."

Momo's blood ran cold, all her witty comments forgotten.

_Damn him! _Toushirou raged as he ran in the direction of Momo's house. It was faint, but he sensed the too familiar spiritual pressure. Ichimaru. And Momo was with him. _If he hurts her_…

He landed on the roof of Momo's house. Ichimaru sensed him at once, of course. "Ah, Hitsugaya-kun, so nice of you to join us. But as you can see we're a little busy at the moment, why don't you come back later—?"

"Like _hell _I will!" Toushirou snapped, drawing his Zanpakatou. "_Soar_—"

"Shirou-chan, don't."

Momo's soft voice was enough to both placate Toushirou and shock him into silence. "W-What? Hinamori—"

Rukia glared over her shoulder at her pursuer. She had no time to tell Ichigo off though. Momo and Ichimaru and Hitsugaya were all together, she could sense their spiritual pressures. This could _only _lead to trouble.

All around her attacks ensued. She heard shouts and yells and screams that all seemed to run into one entity. Soul Society was _not _going to come out of this unscathed. And for what? The lost causes in the Twelfth Division? Pure joy? Or was Aizen actually trying to _accomplish _something?

It all made very little sense to Rukia, try as she may to figure it out. And she was rather unsettled by Ichimaru's presence. What was _he _doing in Soul Society?

Toushirou looked between Momo and Ichimaru, shocked. He barely registered the two spiritual pressures that were moving towards him fast.

"Hinamori…why are you defending him?"

Momo was looking at the ground, her fists clenched tightly. She refused to acknowledge Toushirou's words.

"What the hell—"

Ichigo was behind Toushirou, standing next to Rukia, who had come up behind the white-haired captain silently. Like him, she was looking down at Ichimaru and Momo. But her expression was resigned rather than shocked. As if she had _expected _this.

"Ah, good, save me the trouble of having to look for you." Ichimaru looked almost pleased. Rukia's resigned expression changed to one of disgust.

Ichigo was beyond confused. _What the hell? _He repeated silently.

_You're such an idiot Ichigo. I told you to pay more attention, didn't I?_

The hollow's voice enraged Ichigo. _What do you mean?! You _saw _this?!_

_I sensed Aizen's presence the first time he set foot here. I knew your girl here was with him. If only you were that smart…_

Rukia looked over at Ichigo. She saw the conflict in his deep amber eyes, the rage. How much had he already figured out? How did he know?

"You promised."

Her low voice surprised Ichigo, who looked around just in time to see her disappear from his side. She appeared next to Momo, resting a hand on the brown-haired girl's shoulder. Momo looked up at her companion with desperate eyes. Rukia just shook her head. The silent exchange bewildered Ichigo as much as everything else had.

Toushirou was shaking, though whether with shock or rage or both, he didn't know. Was this it? The answer he and Ichigo had been looking for? Were Momo and Rukia _really _the traitors?

No. It wasn't possible. It wasn't. It couldn't be.

But even as his mind rejected every possibility, he knew it was true. He looked down at the vice-captains, then at the smirking former captain, and hatred unlike anything he had ever known enveloped him. A low snarl escaped his lips as he went to draw his Zanpakatou again.

"You—!"

His words died in his throat as Momo stepped in front of Ichimaru. Defended him. "Good, good." Ichimaru chuckled. "I don't even have to say anything, she just automatically moves. I knew Aizen-sama had a good idea when he went after these two."

Blood pounded in Ichigo's ears. Rukia was refusing to look at him. He wasn't sure if _that _was what was infuriating him, the hollow's taunting voice, or Ichimaru. It could have been a combination of all three.

"Well, we'll be off. Give our regards to everyone." And with that, all three were gone. Ichigo and Toushirou stared in horror at the spot where Rukia and Momo had been standing just mere seconds before. It didn't seem possible that, even after all their efforts, they'd lost both of them. Not possible.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Is this worth going with or not? I mean, nobody really _seems _interested…so…I don't know. Review and let me know, k? — Sam


	8. Traitors

**Inner Conflict — VIII**

Blame wasn't something that was ever evenly distributed. No one ever wanted to take it on themselves. It was easier — natural — to blame someone else.

But, no matter how hard Ichigo and Toushirou tried, they could find no one _to _blame but themselves.

Who had been with Rukia and Hinamori more than the two men? They had been watch dogs, _hawks _for heaven's sake! And, even after all that, Aizen had _still _slipped under. He'd still gotten to Rukia and Hinamori, he'd still taken them. But neither Toushirou nor Ichigo _wanted _to take the blame for this. And amazingly, nobody else was trying to pin it on them.

"Damn Aizen." Rangiku spoke in a low voice. She'd been pulled out of the real world. Every remaining captain and vice-captain had been pulled from whatever they had been doing before — their numbers were dwindling badly, especially the vice-captains. They were now down to six.

"Karakura isn't safe now." Kyouraku said in a low voice. "Aizen wasn't being stupid about his choices."

"Rukia knows every last inch of defense there." Renji added. "Karakura _is _her town. And Momo knows just enough — with the added bonus that she'll do anything for Aizen."

"I'd love to know what part Rukia plays." Ichigo said in a low voice. "How in the world did Aizen get to _her_?"

"Does it _matter_?" Soi Fong asked impatiently. "The only important detail right now is that they're both traitors, isn't it?"

"They're _not _traitors." Ichigo growled.

"There has to be a reason." Toushirou added, retaining only a little of his own dignity. He wouldn't stoop to the same level as Ichigo, no matter _how_ tempting it was.

"I have to agree with Kurosaki-kun and Hitsugaya-kun here." Ukitake spoke for the first time. "I know very little of Hinamori Momo — though I've heard nothing but good things about her. I do, however, know a lot about Rukia. And I know she would _never _do something like this without a reason."

"Then perhaps you don't know er as well as you thought you did." Soi Fong snapped, not liking the contradiction she was receiving.

"Hinamori Momo is blind when it comes to Aizen." Kuchiki Byakuya spoke at last. "She has proven that in the past."

"It's not her fault." Kira Izuru spoke up. Renji nodded his agreement at once.

"Her fault or not, it is clear she can not be objective." Byakuya retorted coldly, no emotion betrayed in his voice.

"And what of your sister?" Kira shot back. He'd become much more outspoken since becoming Third Squad Captain. "I don't hear you condemning _her_!"

Ichigo wanted to kill them both, Kira _and _Byakuya. "Rukia _will _accept whatever punishment is given to her. She has in the past, and this time will be no different."

_In the past_. Ichigo bristled at the ugly reminder. His amber eyes locked on Byakuya's face, and to his surprise he saw a large range of emotions cross through the nobleman's eyes. And he remembered that he wasn't the only one that found that day painful to remember.

"_Why _are we discussing punishments?" Hitsugaya snapped. "We don't even know that they're guilty of anything!"

"You need _proof_?"

"Enough!" Yamamoto shouted at last, cutting through the argument. "Proof and motivations are the _least _of the problem right now. Aizen has taken three more of our vice-captains—" Soi Fong winced at the reminder that her own vice-captain had joined the ranks of the missing, "and the fact that of those three went of their own freewill is _not _what we should be concerned with right now. If they want to count themselves among Aizen's followers, then _we _can not hesitate to fight them. It is as simple as that. No complaints!" He added as Toushirou and Ichigo opened their mouths to protest. "The next time any of you are faced with Hinamori Momo or Kuchiki Rukia, do _not _hesitate. Killing them is not out of the question. Do what you must to walk away alive."

* * *

"Kaien-dono is rolling over in his _grave_ Rukia-san!"

Rukia winced, denying the ridiculous urge to cover her ears at the sound of Kaien's name. Kiyone was _not _happy with her vice-captain. That was to be expected though.

Rukia and Momo were down in the prison block. They (well, Rukia more) had insisted on seeing the capture Shinigami for themselves. Aizen hadn't seen a problem with it, but had sent Ichimaru along with a guard — he was standing at the end of the hallway, looking quite content.

It was late. Kiyone was the only one awake. She was glaring Rukia down, obviously disapproving. "Don't give me that look—"

"Rukia-san look at yourself." Kiyone groaned. "You _and _Vice-Captain Hinamori, how _could _you? Do you know what you're _doing_?"

"I have a fairly good idea, yes."

"Then _why_—"

"Kiyone _please_." Rukia begged. "I know this is bad, and it's hard, _please _don't make it any worse."

Kiyone paused for a moment, surprised by this sudden request. "What are you going to do?" She asked quietly, her voice almost inaudible.

"I don't _know_." Rukia groaned, dropping her head into her hands. Momo knelt down wordlessly beside Rukia, resting a hand on her shoulder. They were both obviously worn out.

"We'll think of something."

Kiyone frowned, deciding now was a good time to change the topic. "So…uh…how's um…how's Sentarou, does he…you know, miss me?"

Rukia laughed weakly. "Oh _definitely_. And it's so _quiet _without you two running around yelling after each other."

Kiyone brightened a little, her face lighting up. "He misses me? Really?"

"Really." Rukia nodded, smiling slightly. Kiyone looked smug now.

"Well, I always knew he couldn't live without me, I shouldn't be surprised." Momo giggled. For a moment the three women managed to forget the dire situation they'd gotten themselves stuck in, managed to forget how bleak and hopeless everything looked. But then Rukia turned serious again.

"I'll get you out of here Kiyone. I promise." Kiyone sighed, looking into her vice-captain's violet eyes.

"You can't save everyone, Rukia-san."

"Up until now I haven't _saved _anyone. But I _will _change that." Kiyone could see that there was no use arguing with her now. She let it go.

* * *

"Kuchiki-san and Hinamori-san did _what_?!"

Despite the warnings he had been given, Ichigo had still insisted on going to the living world to catch Orihime and Uryu up on the latest turn of events.

"Why?" Uryu asked in a slightly calmer voice than his wife's, as if the prospect of two Shinigami traitors (one of whom was _supposed _to be his friend) was no reason to be concerned.

Do I _look _like I know _why_?" Ichigo asked, a little annoyed. "I don't have the faintest idea. If I did maybe I'd be able to figure out how to get her _back_."

"Mind control?" Orihime suggested.

"Not one of your more creative theories."

"Okay, how 'bout this?" Orihime took a deep breath. "Their brains were eaten by zombie Arrancar and Aizen's controlling their minds now."

Ichigo and Uryu just stared, their mouth's open. The latter patted Orihime's shoulder. "Welcome back."

Ichigo ran a hand through his spiky orange hair, sighing. "So what are you going to do?" Uryu asked finally. Ichigo shook his head.

"I…really don't know. I mean, Old Man Yamamoto told us to fight them…but he doesn't really think I _can_, does he?"

"You're _more _than strong enough—"

"That's not what I meant." Ichigo cut across Uryu impatiently. "You know that."

Uryu did. Of course he did. He fell silent.

Of _course _Ichigo was strong enough. Hell, he could take Rukia and Momo between his fingers (at the same time) and snap them in half like twigs. The question was whether or not he was _willing _to. And he already knew the answer. He wasn't.

* * *

"Captain?"

Toushirou looked over his shoulder. He was sitting on the roof of the division building, watching the stars and thinking. Rangiku knelt down behind him, watching him with a weary expression.

"What do you want, Matsumoto?"

He didn't say it rudely — just wearily. He wasn't sure how much more bad news his mind could comprehend.

"Are you all right?"

The words he had been dreading. "No, Matsumoto. I'm _not _all right. Just…go away. I want to be alone."

She didn't listen. Of course she didn't listen. She never would. Not when things were like this. "Do you want to talk?"

"Not really." He spoke through his teeth now. _Why _couldn't she take a hint and leave him alone? Was she _trying _to be annoying? Because she was _certainly _succeeding if she was.

"All right. I'll wait until you do/" She settled in behind him, preparing for a long wait. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes and looked forward again.

"Hope you enjoy disappointment then." Toushirou suppressed a groan. He knew she wouldn't leave now. Well, she might be if she got bored…

They sat in silence. Rangiku didn't speak, but her very _presence _was enough to drive Toushirou _nuts_. He had come out here to be _alone_. _Why _didn't she see that? _Why _didn't she _leave_?

An hour passed. Two. Toushirou had never heard Rangiku this quiet. Maybe she'd fallen asleep…

"I don't know why you're blaming yourself." Toushirou jumped and looked over his shoulder. Rangiku was watching him. "It's not your fault. You said it yourself — Aizen gets what he wants no matter what. No use taking the blame on yourself."

Toushirou scowled. "You don't understand."

"Yes, I do, actually. You think you should have been able to do something, should have been able to stop Aizen from getting to Momo-san. But it wouldn't have made a difference, your interference. You know that."

Toushirou's scowl deepened. Damn her. "Matsumoto, how do you think Ichimaru knew you were in Karakura Town?"

Rangiku frowned. That seemed like a rather out of the blue question. "They told him." Toushirou went on without waiting for an answer. "They had to have. Who knows how long they've been passing on information for? How long has this been happening?"

"It can't have been more than two months." Rangiku said quietly. "That's when we came back from our last scouting mission, remember?"

"Too long." Toushirou retorted. He sounded tortured. "That's too long, Matsumoto. I was so…careful, I practically _never _let her out of my sight, except for when she went home. So _how_…how did he still manage to take her?"

Rangiku didn't answer. There _was _no answer. "And now she's a traitor." Toushirou went on, his voice cracking. "She's a traitor, and when she's captured she'll probably be executed, and there's nothing I can do about it."

He was right. Rangiku hated to admit it, but she was right. Momo and Rukia were both doomed.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry about how long it took to get this out. I had it written in my notebook, and I was too lazy to type it up. Annoying, I know. I'll try to be quicker next time, promise. Anyways, if you're curious about captains and vice-captains in this story, go to my profile and scroll down to the bottom, you'll find a list of 'em. Review please! — Sam


	9. Learn From History

**Inner Conflict — IX**

_Oh would you _stop _with the self-blame party? Granted it _is _all your fault, what with you being an idiot and everything, but still, I don't feel like watching it. Just get over it already, I'm tired of the what-ifs._

Ichigo wanted to hit the stupid hollow. He wondered how strange he'd look kicking his own ass. _Would you shut up? It's not a self-blame party. I don't blame myself at all, I can gladly throw this one on Rukia. I just want to know what the _hell _she was thinking and if she knows what she got herself into._

_She's got a pretty good idea King. She doesn't strike me as the impulsive type, she probably _thinks _about what she does before she does it._

_  
Yeah, she was really thinking when she gave me her Shinigami powers_, Ichigo shot back sarcastically. Unfortunately, though, the hollow was half right. Rukia didn't _always _think about what she did before she did it. But when she did, she thought long and hard It just seemed like when she actually _thought_, she ended up making the worst choice. Exhibit A: the decision to run away that ultimately led to her near execution. Exhibit B: this whole mess.

"Argh!" Ichigo groaned, falling back on the ground. He was in his division, hiding under a tree (it was raining and he didn't feel like going home). Rain slipped through the green leaves above him, pattering against his face. He closed his eyes, running one hand through his dripping orange locks. It. Wasn't. _Fair_. Why was Rukia always doing these things to him?

_What, you mean she's betrayed you before?_

_Ah _shut up_. That's not what I meant. Just mind your own business._

_Unfortunately, King, your business is mine._

_Can't you just make yourself disappear?_

_I can make _you _disappear, if you wouldn't mind that too much—_

"_Shut up_!" Ichigo shouted at the sky, losing his temper. He bolted up again, his temper flaring. God damn hollow was a pain in the ass—

"Forget this." He jumped up and stormed away, no longer in the mood to listen to the hollow. He never had an opinion worth acknowledging anyway.

"Are you having _fun _sulking?" Ichigo stopped walking just outside of his division and whirled around. Renji was standing there, his normally spiky hair hanging around his face, dripping wet. "It's about time you left. I want to talk to you about something. Take a walk with me, all right?"

"Well _this _can only end badly." Ichigo muttered, looking up at the sky. The rain was showing no signs of stopping. "Can't this wait until _later, _Renji? I'm wet—"

"So another few minutes in the rain isn't going to kill you." Renji interrupted. "You see, Ichigo, I'm not giving you a _choice _in this. Everybody's tired of you and Hitsugaya sitting around feeling sorry for yourselves. I'm not about to talk to _him _though—"

"What's wrong, scared?"

"Hell yes." Renji grabbed Ichigo and dragged him down the street. "If it turns into a fight with you though I can kick your ass, so I figure I'm safe."

"You wish." Ichigo snorted. "Need I remind you of the last time you fought me? You didn't exactly come off swimmingly."

"Technicality." Renji waved Ichigo's words off like a fly. Ichigo sighed. He wasn't getting his own way on this one. That much was obvious. He let Renji drag him away, trying to figure out arguments in his mind.

"Renji—"

"You know I love Rukia, right?" Ichigo barely batted an eye. Of _course _he'd known that. Renji wore his feelings on his sleeve. "I'm as stupid as you are though. I let her walk away from me, as idiotic as it was. I still regret it to this day. I realize I made a mistake, even though I don't' want to admit it. I hate myself. Everyday I thought about going to her, begging her to forgive me for being an idiot…but it was already too late. She was gone, and when she came back, _you _had her. I lost my chance. Lost it to _you_. It's enough of a reason to hate you, but I wouldn't feel right if I did. The better man won. I'll live with that. But I'll beat you silly if you make my mistakes. Rukia loves you. Let her walk the way I did, and you'll regret it until the day you die."

Ichigo didn't know what to say to that. Renji had never been one to talk about his feelings. And now that he was…it was kind of awkward. "Why are you telling me all this? It's not like she's hear for me to talk to. She's _gone _Renji."

Renji stopped walking. Ichigo was a few paces ahead before he realized this, and looked back. "You're right. And every cent I have is on the fact that it's got something to do with you. To protect you, or something. Rukia _never _does anything if it won't benefit _you _somehow. I don't believe she's a traitor. I believe it's possible — with a few well-chosen words and maybe a couple of hits — to bring her back to us. But I _refuse _to believe she's capable of betraying us. Maybe if you get your head out of your ass you can come up with a few more reasons. You know her better than I do, after all."

He turned and walked away. Ichigo just stared after him, not sure if he had just been insulted or complimented or…what. Renji could be so confusing sometimes.

_"Ichigo, promise me something." He blinked._

_"S-Sure. Of course. Anything."_

_"Promise me that…no matter what happens…you'll never hate me."_

The conversation had played itself over and over in Ichigo's mind. No matter how hard he tried, he had been incapable of making any sense of it. He was finally starting to get somewhere though. Obviously at that point in time, Aizen had already approached Rukia and Momo. Had they already made their decision? Was Rukia's need for Ichigo's promise the result of her guilt?

_"Good." She turned away from him and started walking up the path to her front steps. He thought he heard her mutter, "I couldn't die peacefully if I thought you hated me."_

_That _was the part that worried Ichigo the most. What had Rukia meant? Did she plan on getting herself killed somehow? Rukia was, in so many ways, a classic martyr — always willing to give her life for whatever she thought was right. Throwing herself in front of an attack meant for Ichigo, sacrificing her powers so he could save his family, allowing herself to be captured for execution, just to protect _him_. And now she was throwing away her own life…for what? As stupid and egotistical as it sounded, Ichigo had a feeling Renji was right; it _was _something to do with _him_ — with Ichigo.

_I wish I could read your mind Rukia. I'd have _loved _to know what was going on it before you left._

* * *

_"Do you think I'm a bad person?"_

Toushirou fell back on his pillow, sighing. He was trying to run through every conversation he'd had with Hinamori since he had returned from the scouting mission in Hueco Mundo. Trying to find a sign, something, anything he might have missed that would give him his answers. And all he kept coming back to was that one discussion at their old house. He could still see her in his mind, distressed, scared. He could still hear the desperation in her voice. And he was beating himself up for not realizing the truth sooner.

_How could I have been so blind? _Toushirou thought angrily. Water beat the window lightly as the rain outside picked up slightly._ I'm supposed to know Hinamori better than anyone else. How did I not see the truth sooner? Why did I let her walk away from me?_

_Knock-Knock_

A light knock on the front door brought Toushirou back to the present. He recognized the chakra pattern instantly. Not in the mood to deal with anyone he rolled over onto his side, pulling his pillow over his ears.

Another knock. And then another, slightly louder. It went on for about five minutes. "If you don't open the door I'll just break it down!"

Toushirou growled under his breath as he jumped up, storming out of his room, down the small hall, and to the door, throwing it open. "Break the door and I'll break you _neck_." He growled. Matsumoto smiled mischievously.

"Got you to open the door, didn't I?" She grinned. "Come on. I want to talk to you."

"Not now Matsumoto." Toushirou started to shut the door. Matsumoto grabbed the door-knob, effectively stopping him.

"Yes now, Captain. You're not doing anything else, are you?"

It was tempting to grab her hand and break it, but it was her writing hand; the last thing she needed was a valid _excuse _not to do her paperwork. So Toushirou just sighed, opening the door and stepping out. The rain soaked him in mere seconds.

"You couldn't have chosen a better time?"

"Now's as good a time as any." She started walking. Toushirou sighed as he followed her. Better to just get this over with. Hopefully she'd be quick and leave him alone after.

"So what do you want to talk about?" He demanded after a few minutes of walking in silence. Matsumoto was being uncharacteristically quiet and serious. It was worrying him.

"I never understood Gin." The words were distant, as if Matsumoto had said them by accident. Toushirou made a face. She'd dragged him into the rain to talk about _Ichimaru_? "He was always disappearing…always had bigger and better things to do. And I could never follow him, because I never knew where he went. By the time I figured out the truth, it was already way too late. He was with Aizen. And there was nothing I could do to stop him. Not that it stopped me from trying, but…that was a failure. Obviously."

Toushirou let Matsumoto talk. He wasn't even sure if she was actually talking to _him_, or if he was just bearing witness to her pity party. "But I know one thing." She continued on suddenly, her voice suddenly stronger. "Gin, no matter _how _he acted, never cared about anyone but himself. I hate to admit it, but that's just the truth. I…I loved him—" Toushirou cringed, "but nothing came of it."

Toushirou didn't know what to say now. _What _was Matsumoto trying to say? "You love Momo-san, Captain." It wasn't a question. Toushirou stopped walking, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Don't bother denying it, I'm smart enough to see the truth. You love her. She loves you too, though. It's not the same as it was with Gin…with me. Gin betrayed Soul Society for the love of power. He's long lost to me. It's far from too late for you and Momo though. I know Momo would never hurt anybody without a good reason. And I think…you're involved in that reason. Somehow."

Toushirou finally brought his eyes up to meet Matsumoto's. She was still more serious than he had ever seen her. "You think she betrayed everybody…for _me_?"

Matsumoto shrugged and turned away. "I know she didn't do it just for fun. Whatever Momo-san is up to — and Rukia-san too, for that matter — I know there's a real, deep reason behind it. A reason that took a lot of thinking to get to. I don't believe she'd do anything blindly. I _do _believe that there's a way to bring her back though."

"What's that?" Toushirou demanded at once. Matsumoto shrugged again.

"That's up to _you_, to figure out, Captain."

He took that to be the end of the discussion. Toushirou thought for a minute. What could _he _do that would help him save Momo? _Could _anything be done now? Could be bring her back, keep her safe? Was it even possible? He sighed. As confused as he was, talking to Matsumoto had actually…helped a little. He turned to walk away.

"Matsumoto?"

"Yes Captain?"

"Thank you."

Matsumoto smiled slightly as her captain's footsteps faded away, and she looked up at the sky, letting the rain pelt her face. _Don't make my mistakes, Captain. Don't let Momo-san walk away._

* * *

Momo clenched her fists, her nails digging into her skin, drawing blood. She bit down hard on her lip, surprised she didn't break skin _there _as well. "Why are you sending us _there_?" Rukia demanded, furious. Of the two Shinigami, she was the most outspoken, the most difficult. She backed off the second Ichigo's name was mentioned, of course, but that rarely stopped her from voicing her opinion.

Aizen gave the raven-haired girl a sly smile. "Because I can't think of anyone better to lead an attack there then two people who know the ins-and-outs of Karakura Town's main defenses." A small hiss escaped through Rukia's teeth.

"Give up. You made a move for Karakura before and you failed. One more loss in that place is just going to set you back further than you already are. Why bother?"

Rukia's mind was flying through Karakura Town's main defenders. Uryu and his father. Chad. Orihime. Isshin. Urahara. Yoruichi. Then her mind branched off to include all the people she knew and cared about. Orihime. All her old friends from school. Yuzu, Karin…

"It's a simple matter to get what you want." Aizen said, his tone almost casual. "Karakura Town is at the center of spiritual power in the world of the living. When I take that place, the rest of the world will be at my knees." _And that's exactly why Soul Society won't let you have it_. "You have your orders. Now go."

He turned and walked away. Momo and Rukia looked at each other, then back at the army of Arrancar standing behind them. "This won't end well." Momo murmured. Rukia couldn't help but agree with _that_.

"Do you think…we'll run into…you know, _them_?" Rukia sighed.

"Momo-san…I'd be surprised if we _didn't_."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Fight next chapter…and yeah…I know this completely sucked...but review anyway. Please? — Sam


	10. The Fight

**Inner Conflict — X**

"Absolutely not."

Ichigo clenched his fists. He knew if he didn't, he'd end up taking a swing at Yamamoto. And that wouldn't have been good. "Captains Kira and Komamura are currently taking a group to the living world to deal with the current invasion. _They _will be able to handle it just fine. You're not necessary there, Captain Kurosaki."

"Like hell I'm not!" Ichigo snapped angrily. "That's my _home _they're invading, you can't stop me from—!"

"The fact that it is your home is not the reason you want to go. You expect Kuchiki Rukia to be there. It's exactly why you can't be allowed to get involved."

"Kira and Komamura aren't _familiar _with the living world!" Ichigo shouted, avoiding the fact that Yamamoto was completely right. "_If _Rukia is there — and I'm not saying I _expect _her to be— she'll have a huge advantage of them. It makes sense to send someone who has the _same _advantage, doesn't it?!"

"That is something for _me _to worry about. Not you. This conversation is over. You're dismissed."

Ichigo resisted the urge to hit a wall as he stormed out of the first division conference room. Hitsugaya was waiting outside for him.

"_That _went well."

"Old geezer can't stop me." Ichigo said furiously as they started walking. "It has _nothing _to do with Rukia, and I don't care _what _he thinks — I'm going. I still have friends and family there. I'm not going to abandon them just because _he _wants me to."

Toushirou didn't answer. Because he knew Ichigo was lying — or half lying, anyway. The idea of meeting Rukia was Ichigo's motivation for going. Toushirou felt the exact same way about Momo.

"And…exactly _what _do you plan to do about it?" Toushirou asked skeptically. Ichigo scowled, obviously furious.

"I'm not exactly opposed to disobeying orders." Toushirou thought about this for a moment.

"You _wouldn't_."

"Try me."

* * *

"Captain Komamura and Captain Kira." Rukia muttered, running her hand over the hilt of her Zanpakatou. She almost felt cheated. She'd wanted to see Ichigo…but at the same time, this was okay with her. Seeing Ichigo meant fighting Ichigo. She couldn't do that.

"Isshin and Urahara are defending the east border." She murmured to Momo. "Yoruichi in the west. Ishida's north. And then the captains are in the south."

"So how do we do this?" Momo asked quietly. "Any of them would take us out before we could even draw our swords."

Rukia closed her eyes, trying to think. They'd already sent some Arrancar ahead to test the defenses, but she already knew it was a lost effort. They would be lucky if _one _of those soldiers came back. "Aizen's going about this all wrong." She muttered, annoyed. "A direct attack isn't the way to go here."

"Why don't you _tell _him that?"

"I'm not going to help anymore than what he's making me do." Rukia snapped, opening her eyes again. Momo flinched and stepped backwards. "All right." Rukia took a deep breath. "I think I know what we can do."

"Please say it involves going back and telling Capt— _Aizen _that we couldn't get into the city." Rukia laughed bitterly.

"I wish. C'mon, we're heading north."

It took Momo a minute to process that. "Wait. _North_? But Rukia-san, Ishida-kun is—"

The raven-haired Shinigami was already walking away.

Uryu stiffened as two familiar reiatsus turned in his direction. Hinamori and Rukia. What, he wondered, were they planning? They'd already sent a couple of Arrancar his way, which he had easily dispatched. But now all was quiet again. What were those two up to?

Uryu waited, his bow at his side, ready to attack whenever he caught sight of him. But though they were obviously moving towards _him_, they weren't actually heading for him. It was almost like they were dancing out of his sight. And they were alone. Strange. They'd dispatched their little army in other directions. Uryu wondered if they expected to break through their defenses. They had to know how slim those chances were.

"I wish you would tell me what you're planning." Momo whispered, watching Rukia's carefully blank face. She had no idea what was going on in her friend's mind. Part of her wasn't sure she _wanted _to know.

"Momo-san you grew up in the Rukongai, didn't you?" Momo was taken back by the question.

"Y-Yeah…I did. You know I did. Why do you ask?"

Rukia took a moment before answering. "You know I did as well. Renji and I and our friends…we lived in one of the worst parts. It was amazing we survived as long as we did." She sighed. "But we _did _survive. Because we knew what we were doing. The people in the Rukongai were all a bunch of greedy bastards. And they were cocky. They underestimated what five kids could do when they put their minds together. They underestimated how well we could plan something."

Momo still wasn't following. "You've lost me, Rukia-san."

Rukia closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "Feel that, Momo-san? As we speak, the army we brought is being obliterated. Luckily we brought a few thousand. Even stretched over the border, it'll take awhile to destroy them all."

"I get that. I still don't get it though…why didn't we send anyone to attack the northern border too?"

"Just be ready to move when I say so, Momo-san."

It happened suddenly. Momo and Rukia _had _been standing still. Uryu had been concentrating on them, making sure he knew exactly where they were — he knew _he _was their target, after all. But with all his concentration focused in one place, he didn't notice the Arrancar come up behind him until it was almost too late.

He whirled around, just barely saving himself from a gruesome fate. He moved his attention back to Rukia and Momo, only to find that they had moved. He looked around just in time to catch sight of Rukia's normally vivid — though now dull — violet eyes.

"Hadou number one — Shou."

It felt as if something invisible had taken a-hold of Uryu's body. His knees gave out beneath and he fell to the ground, his limbs useless. He was completely at Rukia's mercy.

He glared up at the Shinigami in question. "Why are you doing this?" He demanded, his voice cold. "What reason could you possibly have?"

"That's my business." Her voice was cold, calculating. Momo peaked around her, a little surprised.

"You did it…"

Rukia looked away from Uryu, back to Momo. "Let's go."

And they walked away. Uryu just stared after them. What had been the point of immobilizing him if they hadn't planned to kill him?

Momo was impressed. Though she still didn't completely understand what Rukia was thinking, it was obvious that she knew what she was doing. She'd understood that a direct attack wouldn't work. So she'd taken a different approach.

Momo was definitely impressed.

Rukia stopped dead, catching Momo off guard. She walked right into her friend. "Ow…sorry Rukia-san—"

She froze, seeing what Rukia saw. A gate was opening right in front of them. "Reinforcements?" Rukia murmured, her eyes narrowed. But Momo recognized the spiritual pressures. No. Not reinforcements.

Ichigo and Toushirou stepped out of the gate. It disappeared behind them, leaving them in darkness. A quick, vehement string of curses escaped Rukia's lips. _This _she hadn't expected. Yamamoto obviously didn't know these two had come.

"Knew we'd find you two here." Ichigo spoke quietly, his eyes locking on Rukia. She didn't respond, and instead looked away from him.

"Hinamori…" Momo bit her lip to keep from responding. God she wanted to…but that would have been dangerous.

She really _hated _this.

"Can't we talk?" Ichigo almost pleaded. "Please…let us help you. You don't have to be traitors. Whatever Aizen's done to get you two to resort to this, we'll help you get out of it, we promise. Just please…_please _come home."

Rukia bit her lip, drawing her Zanpakatou slowly. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, Ichigo's eyes widen her surprise. "There's nothing to talk about." She murmured, not trusting herself to speak any louder. She flew forward, sword raised, beginning the attack.

Momo looked away from Rukia, knowing that she would not want any witnesses for this, and instead focused on Toushirou, who was watching her, his eyes silently begging her to see reason. Too bad she was _already _seeing reason. Just a little too clearly. She drew her Zanpakatou. Biting her lip until she could taste blood. _Sorry Shirou-chan_, she apologized silently before running forward.

_Damn it! _Ichigo swore silently as he swung Zangetsu down, blocking Rukia's attack. He'd never thought that her height — something he'd always teased her about — would actually give her an _advantage_. But it did. She easily ducked in and out of his sight, bowing around him and easily dodging his attacks. Her attacks were almost impossible to see. Ichigo had come close to being impaled more than once.

"C'mon Rukia, this is—" He ducked, barely missing having his head taken off. Damn this girl was _dangerous_. He wasn't sure he liked having to fight her.

No. He _knew _he didn't like having to fight her.

She disappeared from his sight. Ichigo swore furiously as he looked around, trying to find her again. Now more than ever he wished she had grown another foot. It would make her so much easier to fight.

A flash of silver caught his eye. He whirled around just in time to have Rukia slice neatly down his arm, from his elbow right to his wrist.

_Oh damn, damn! _Rukia swore over and over as she backed off, blood dripping slowly from the end of her sword. _Ichigo's _blood. _Damn it!_

Ichigo clutched his arm, his own, shock-filled amber eyes meeting her's. She struggled to look indifferent.

Toushirou swung his Zanpakatou up, blocking Hinamori's. She pulled back quickly, moving in from the side this time. Toushirou jumped away, landing a few feet from her. "Hinamori—" He tried again. She ran at him, sword raised, eyes determined. She hadn't let him finish a sentence yet.

Momo attacked again and again, putting no effort into the attacks. She was just trying to keep Toushirou distracted. He'd tried to talk to her, again and again, but she wouldn't let him. If he talked to her…she'd snap. And that wouldn't be good to do. She was trying to keep him safe, after all. She couldn't put him danger with her secrets.

"Well, well, Aizen won't be happy to hear about this." A disappointed voice said. Momo and Toushirou looked around at the same time, their eyes landing on…

"Ichimaru." Toushirou said the voice with much venom. Ichimaru didn't even acknowledge the white-haired captain.

Rukia appeared at Momo's side. The two exchanged looks before walking silently towards Gin. They could already tell that _this _fight was long lost. They were almost happy to be able to go back to Hueco Mundo.

"Rukia!"

She didn't look around as Ichigo called her name. Toushirou barely acknowledged the man as he came up beside him, clutching his bleeding arm. "Rukia, don't—"

"Shut up, Ichigo." Her voice was barely more than whisper. But it silenced Ichigo. Hinamori's eyes connected with Toushirou's. He saw a world of hurt, of pain, hidden behind those dark brown eyes. She looked away quickly, as if afraid she had somehow said too much.

And then all three were gone. Ichigo and Toushirou stared at the spot where Rukia and Momo had stood. Remorse, then disbelief flooded through them as they realized how close the women they loved had stood. And still they hadn't been able to save them.

* * *

"You knew, Rukia-san, that the invasion would fail. I wonder, why did you feel that wasn't something I needed to know?"

Rukia glared at the floor. Unlike Hinamori, she refused to kneel before Aizen. Hinamori did it with a look of pure disgust, but she didn't want to take the chances of infuriating her former captain. Rukia didn't mind pushing her luck.

"It's not my place." She said shortly, narrowing her eyes angrily. "I'm just…a servant. _You're _the one who makes decisions like that…Aizen-_sama_."

She spit the name out. It left a bad taste in her mouth. Aizen almost smiled as he looked down at the reluctant Shinigami. "Perhaps, Rukia-san, but you know more about Karakura Town than I do. I would…_value _your opinion when it comes to matters involving that place."

Translation: _tell me anything that might interfere with my chances. That's what you're here for_. Rukia scowled.

Aizen looked down on the two Shinigami for a moment before coming to a decision. "Momo-san, you're dismissed. Rukia-san, I'd like to speak with you for a moment."

Momo pushed herself up, her eyes shifting slightly to look at Rukia. She wouldn't leave if Rukia didn't want to. But the violet-eyed Shinigami jerked her head once, nodding. Momo turned and left without sparing Aizen a glance. Rukia turned to glare up Aizen, who regarded her calmly.

"You're unhappy."

"What _ever _gave you _that _idea?" Rukia asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I wonder if maybe you already regret the decision you made. If you're freedom from this place is more important to you then Kurosaki's life." The words froze Rukia's blood. But she was already on another train of thought.

"You say you can have them killed whenever you want." She said slowly. "That's why Momo-san and I are here. But _how_? You've already proven you can get into Soul Society undetected…but I'm sure they've changed the security, it'd probably be more difficult to get in now. Killing Ichigo and Captain Hitsugaya isn't a job I'd leave to foot soldiers. Hell, I doubt even an Espada could handle Ichigo. So tell me, _Aizen-sama_, how do you plan to kill Ichigo if I decide this isn't for me anymore?"

Aizen's smile didn't waver through Rukia's speech. "Perhaps," he said when she was done, "you haven't noticed, Rukia-san, but Soul Society tends to be quite slow on the uptake. It's almost impossible for them to notice when a spy is in their midst."

It took Rukia a second to realize what this meant. "You have a spy within Soul Society?" She guessed, her voice flat. She was more than willing to believe that, except she still didn't see how that would help with killing Hitsugaya or Ichigo.

"You still don't understand." It wasn't a question. "Rukia-san, tell me this: how hard would it be, really, to just kill a person in their sleep?"

Rukia thought for a moment. Ichigo was such a heavy sleeper, killing him would take no effort at all. Killing a person in general would be easy, if they were deeply enough asleep.

"You're lying." She whispered finally, unwilling to believe.

"Do you really want to gamble Kurosaki's life on that chance?"

* * *

Nobody spoke for the longest time. Ichigo and Hitsugaya could feel the heavy stares of the captains surrounding them. They wished somebody would break the silence. "You won't be punished." Yamamoto said finally, though it was obvious he didn't agree with this. "_Yet_. We need every soldier we can get right now. Don't think their won't be consequences though. You both disobeyed direct orders. If this was not a time of war, you would both be in serious trouble. Consider yourselves lucky."

Ichigo snorted. Lucky. Right. "How's your arm?" Hitsugaya murmured as they left. Around them, the other captains spoke in low voices.

"Fine." Ichigo said, rubbing his arm. "Unohana said there's going to be a scar. No way to avoid that. She got it pretty deep."

Hitsugaya closed his eyes, breathing deeply. "I knew we shouldn't have gone there."

"If we hadn't, we could have lost the town." Ichigo reminded the boy. "Rukia knew what she was doing — using the Arrancar as a distraction while she and Momo snuck in was a damn good idea. Like Renji said, when you grow up where they did, you get good at being sneaky. Aizen wasn't messing around when he chose his players for this game."

Hitsugaya couldn't disagree with that. He scowled, hating that Ichigo was actually making sense. "Think we'll have to fight them again?"

"I'd…pretty much guarantee it." Ichigo sighed. The next fight was something neither of them were looking forward to.

* * *

**Author's Note: **SORRY! In that sorry, I apologize for two things: 1) I'm sorry this took so long to get out. I'm working on a new story right now that's pretty much dominating my time. B) Sorry this chapter was terrible. The problem is, this story was meant to be more of a psychological torture thing (hense the name). Direct fights were never really meant to be in it. Luckily, I don't plan on doing too many.

Story!:

**Title: **Dawn at Dusk

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **—AU, IchiRuki— To everyone else, Kurosaki Ichigo was just another person to avoid. Rukia, on the other hand, saw everything in him that was worth fighting for.

I don't really plan on publishing it. But I'm willing to hand out the first chapter to a few people who might be interested. Review and let me know: A) What you thought of the chapter and 2) if you want to read the first chapter of _Dawn at Dusk _(which is a title I'm _very _fond of, by the way)


	11. Toushirou's Promise

**Inner Conflict — XI**

—_**:—:—Rukongai, 110 Years Earlier—:—:—**_

"Momo-san?"

Momo looked up from the picture she was drawing. "What is it Baa-chan?" She pushed herself up, clasping her hands behind her back. Then she saw something strange behind her Baa-chan — a white fuzz ball. "Baa-chan what's that?"

The old woman smiled as she moved to reveal that the fuzz ball actually had a body. A very small boy — maybe two or three years younger than Momo —was glaring Momo down. He had emerald green eyes and white hair that was beginning to grow out into spikes. He folded his arms, his face twisted into a scowl. Momo stared at him for a moment, then squealed with delight.

"He's _soooo_ cute!" She ran over to him, automatically reaching a hand to pat his hair. It was fuzzy…

"I'm _not _cute!" The boy protested, knocking Momo's hand away with surprising strength. "Boys aren't _supposed _to be cute!"

"Well _I_ think you're cute." Momo declared, putting her hands on her hips. "So there."

Baa-chan laughed. "Momo-san this is Toushirou-kun. I found him outside. He's going to be staying with us from now on."

Momo liked this. "Shirou-chan!" She said happily, bouncing and clapping her hands. Toushirou's eyes nearly fell out of his head.

"Don't _call me _that!"

Momo giggled. "Why not? You're a Shirou aren't you?" She thought for a moment. "You're _my _Shirou-chan."

"Not on your life." Toushirou argued, his voice sounding choked now. "I am _nobody's _Shirou-chan — certainly not _yours_."

Momo giggled again. "Well, whatever. So do you like watermelon?"

The sudden topic change threw Toushirou off for a moment. He blinked, a little surprised. "Um…m-maybe." He stuttered finally, sounding as if he were confessing to some terrible crime. Momo grinned.

"Great, we have _lots _of watermelon outside. Ya want some?"

Toushirou didn't get past, "I guess—" before Momo grabbed his hand and dragged him away.

"We're gonna be great friends Shirou-chan. You'll see."

—_**:—:—Present Day—:—:—**_

"Momo-san?"

Momo snapped out of her broodings and looked up at Rukia, who was standing next to her, staring straight ahead, as Momo had been, looking out into the desert of Hueco Mundo. Momo tried to smile, just failing. Rukia had been very quiet since the fight in the living world. Momo knew there was nothing she could do to cheer her friend up, but she had to try.

"Hey Rukia-san. What's up?"

"You've been out here for awhile. I was worried." Rukia sat down next to Momo, pulling her knees up under her chin and looping her thin arms around her legs. "You all right?"

"I'm fine." Momo tried to sound reassuring. Even _she _could hear the lie in her voice.

"What were you thinking about before? You looked pretty deep in thought." Momo thought for a moment. No use in lying.

"I was thinking about…before. When Shirou-chan and I were little. When we lived together." Rukia nodded absently.

"You miss him." It wasn't a question. Momo sighed and looked back at the desert.

"I do. And I'm…worried. What if when all this is over, he hates me?" Rukia didn't answer for a moment.

"I don't think he could ever hate you." Her words were slow and deliberate now.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do." Her voice took on it's usual, stubborn tone. "I saw it in the way he looked at you before. All he wants is to understand _why _you're doing what you're doing — and to try and save you." Momo considered those words. They seemed too good to be true.

"Since when do _you _know so much about Shirou-chan?"

"I don't." Rukia admitted. "But I'm good at understanding people — most people anyway. It was easy, the way he looked at you when he saw last, to tell what he was thinking. He was upset, confused. But it doesn't matter to him that you're a…traitor—" Momo winced slightly. The word was harsh. "He just wants to save you."

Momo sighed and looked over at Rukia. Dark brown eyes met violet. "I hope you're right, Rukia-san. I couldn't stand it if he hated me."

Rukia, to Momo's great surprise, smiled just a little as she stood up. "Trust me. I'm hardly ever wrong."

Momo couldn't help but smile as Rukia walked away. She knew, if it hadn't been for her raven-haired friend, she'd have already lost her mind here.

—_**:—:—Rukongai, 92 Years Earlier—:—:—**_

"You don't want to become a Shinigami Shirou-chan?"

Toushirou snorted as he gnawed his way through another piece of watermelon. "Why the hell would I?" He asked as he tossed the remains of the watermelon to the side. Momo frowned.

"I wish you wouldn't use language like that Shirou-chan."

"And _I _wish you wouldn't call me Shirou-chan. But we both have to live with something we don't like, don't we?"

Momo rolled her eyes as she grabbed another piece of watermelon, nibbling it thoughtfully. "So how come you don't want to become a Shinigami?"

"Are we going to keep having this conversation?" Toushirou demanded, starting to stand. "Because I'm going inside if we are."

"Oh come on." Momo grabbed Toushirou's hand, holding him back. "I'm curious. Why don't you want to be a Shinigami?"

"Because do you know what Shinigami do, Hinamori?" He sat down again, scowling now. "They send the souls from the other world _here_. Maybe _we _don't have it so bad in the Rukongai, but there are souls just like us in the higher districts, and the struggle just to survive. It's hell. Why would I want the responsibility of knowing I condemned so poor kid — a kid just like _me_ — to live in a place like _that _for the rest of eternity?" He could tell Momo was impressed by his argument. "'Sides, it's way too much responsibility. Why would I want to bother?"

"Because you could help a lot of people." Toushirou snorted.

"Yeah right."

"It's true." Momo insisted. What was with her sudden obsession with the Shinigami, anyway? She hadn't shut up about them the last month and a half.

"The only people I'd _help _are those idiots in the Seireitei. I don't _want _to help them." He grabbed another piece of watermelon. "Drop it Hinamori, all right? I'm not in the mood to listen to this."

Momo sighed, letting it go. "Shirou-chan…"

—_**:—:—Present Day—:—:—**_

"Whatcha up to Captain?"

Toushirou looked over his shoulder at Matsumoto. He _had _been staring out the window, brooding. But of course his vice-captain _would _come to ruin it. Her expression was happy, almost carefree. Lucky her. "I _was _thinking." He emphasized the past tense. "But of course, _you _had to interrupt it."

"Sorry. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important." He wasn't about to tell her the truth. She'd have a field day with it.

"Momo-san?"

Damn her…when had she become so smart anyway?

"Matsumoto go home." He turned away from her, then scowled as his desk creaked. She had sat down on it.

"No. I want to talk to you."

"That's great. Get it over with and leave."

Matsumoto sighed. Toushirou knew he was being rude. Matsumoto had been very cooperative the last few weeks, after all. He should have been grateful. But she could just be so _annoying_…

"When are you going to realize I'm right?"

"You're _never _right." Toushirou shot back. "But pray-tell, what could you possibly be referring to?"

"Momo-san." Toushirou's scowl deepened. "For everything she is, I _don't think _she's a traitor. You seem hell-bent on thinking just the opposite though."

"Because Kuchiki Byakuya was _right_!" Toushirou snapped, jumping up and whirling around to face Matsumoto, who looked a little surprised. "Hinamori can't be objective when it comes to Aizen, she has no _limits_! Even _after _he almost killed her, she still believed he was truly good, that he was just being controlled…or manipulated…Momo doesn't see clearly when Aizen is involved. I know it's not her fault, but that doesn't change the fact that it's _true_."

Matsumoto was surprisingly silent through the entire rant. Toushirou vented until he had exhausted himself, finally dropping back into his chair, resting his elbow on the desk and his head in his hand. Matsumoto touched his shoulder lightly.

"You're right. Reason goes out the window for Momo-san when Aizen gets thrown into the mix. I _was _there the day she found him, after he was supposedly murdered." Toushirou had forgotten that. "But that doesn't mean she's not capable of changing. And she _wants _to change, Captain. She tried so hard before. She tried to see Aizen in the right light, tried to see him as the enemy. She even tried to fight him once — that time we went to Hueco Mundo to save Ichigo, Rukia-san told me about it. She couldn't, of course. Rukia-san ended up having to take over. But she _tried_. She was _willing_. Doesn't she get any credit for that?"

Toushirou hadn't heard this story before. He had to admit, it kind of surprised him. He could never imagine Hinamori even _considering _fighting Aizen. He kind of liked it though. Leave it to Momo to get in _way _over her head.

"Don't give up on her yet Captain. She _needs _you to believe in her now. There are very few people right now that believe Hinamori Momo and Kuchiki Rukia _aren't _traitors. Momo-san needs you to be on her side, Captain."

Toushirou thought about this for a moment. He couldn't believe how much _sense _Matsumoto was making. She was starting to scare him. "When'd you get so smart?"

Matsumoto jumped off the desk. Toushirou could tell she was smiling when she answered. "I've always been smart Captain. You just never noticed it before."

* * *

"Is something wrong, Momo-san?"

Momo jumped up quickly, surprised at the sudden interruption, at the quiet, almost caring tone of the voice. "N-No Aizen-sama." She stuttered, dipping into a quick bow. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" The concern in his voice was contradicted by the always-superior look in his eyes. Momo squinted at the ground next to Aizen's feet. "You seem upset about something."

"She's fine." Rukia declared loudly from behind Aizen. The raven-haired Shinigami rarely left her friend alone with him — she didn't trust Aizen. Which was smart, of course. She also didn't trust Momo, though. And with good reason.

"I worry about my subordinates—"

"She's not your subordinate, she's your slave." Rukia moved forward, putting herself between Momo and Aizen.

"You're very protective, aren't you Rukia-san?"

"I'm certainly not about to leave her alone with _you_." The disgust in Rukia's voice was easy to hear. Aizen smiled. It was a mockery of the smile Momo had known. The one she had loved…

"Well then. If you need anything Momo, you know you can tell me." He left without another word. Rukia's scowl stayed firm even after he was gone. She turned to face Momo, still furious.

"I wish you wouldn't argue with him." Momo muttered. "You're just going to make him angry."

"I can't help it. He _makes _me want to argue with him." Momo smiled despite herself.

"Well figure out a way to stop. I don't like it."

Rukia sighed. "All right, I'll stop arguing with him. Happy?"

Momo shook her head, smiling still. "No you won't."

"No, I probably won't. But you know I'm not going to say anything that's going to screw this up. I'm not stupid Momo-san."

_No, you're not_, Momo agreed silently, her mind going back to Aizen once more. _And to top it off you're in a much healthier place than I am. I wish I could argue with him the way you do._

"Let's go inside. The desert scene must be starting to get boring."

Momo followed Rukia silently, her thoughts shifting back to a slightly healthier mental course.

_Toushirou_…

—_**:—:—Rukongai, 67 Years Earlier—:—:—**_

Even the lower districts of the Rukongai had their scum. It wasn't nearly as bad as the higher districts, of course. But they were out there.

"_Oof_!"

Momo grunted as she was thrown to the ground. Standing over her were three older boys, maybe in their late teens. All three were smirking with expectation.

"Aren't you a pretty one." One of the three commented, sounding amused.

"Pretty girls like you shouldn't be out this late, cutie." His companion commented. Momo knew that. Toushirou had tried to stop her, but she was thirsty, and they were out of juice. Baa-chan had been asleep, and the stand was close by…

One of them grabbed Momo's wrist, pulling her up. She struggled against him. He was hurting her…

"Lemme go!" She squirmed, but he was much stronger than she was.

"C'mon girlie, we ain't gonna hurtcha…much." His friends laughed at that. Momo bit her lip, her breath quickening.

"No—"

"Let her go!"

Everyone turned to the new voice. The three older boys nearly died laughing. Momo's heart almost stopped.

"Shirou-chan go home!" She shouted at him, surprised that she was actually _angry _at him. What was he _doing_?

Toushirou moved closer to them, his eyes narrowed in dislike. The difference in height between the three boys and him was almost comical. "I said let her go." His voice was amazingly calm. The first boy guffawed, stepping towards Toushirou, raising his hand, which was already clenched in a fist.

"Please—"

He swung his fist. Toushirou, to Momo's surprise, ducked around him, his elbow flying into the boy's gut. The boy coughed as the air was knocked out of him, and he went down.

"Let her go." Now it sounded like was advising the two remaining boys. Both looked a little surprised.

"Please." The one that wasn't holding Momo scoffed. "A sucker punch doesn't prove anything. You're still just a dumb kid—"

He moved faster than Momo could follow, grabbing Toushirou's arm. The white-haired boy responded by kicking him in the shin. Hard.

"Ow! You son of a—"

Toushirou jerked out of the boy's grip and ran forward, grabbing Momo's free wrist. At the same time his foot shot out, nailing the last boy directly in the stomach. "Come on!" He yanked at Momo, and they both took off. Neither stopped running until they were safely back in their house. They fell to the floor, gasping for breath, their eyes closed. "Are…you…_stupid_?" Toushirou finally managed to say, glaring at Momo, who got defensive at once.

"What about you? What were you thinking, trying to fight them?!"

"Well someone had to do it!" He shot back.

"They were _at least _three feet taller than you!"

"It's not _my _fault! I _told _you not to leave, didn't I?!"

The anger drained out of Momo. She sighed, looking down at the floor. "You're right." She murmured, defeated. "You did. I'm sorry."

Toushirou groaned loudly, but when he spoke his voice was surprisingly gentle. "Look, it doesn't matter. You're okay, that's what counts. Just…don't do that again, okay? I don't care how thirsty you are, wait until morning to go buy juice."

Momo smiled slightly. They both stood up, Toushirou scowling now. "Don't worry. This won't happen again." Without warning she swooped in, kissing the top of Toushirou's spiky head. "Thank you, Shirou-chan. Good night."

She went into one of the rooms off the living room, luckily not sparing Toushirou a second glance. The boy in question was now an interesting red. It contrasted wildly with his hair.

"Stupid Hinamori." He mumbled finally, his voice breaking weirdly. "She wouldn't survive here on her own." He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Looks like _I'm _going to have to protect her. Idiot."

He continued to grumble as he stormed off to bed as well.

* * *

**Author's Note: **HitsuHina completely undiluted by any IchiRuki. I'm proud of myself. Next chapter will be Ichigo's and Rukia's turn. And Ichi's hollow. After that I think I'm going to go back to something I started in the beginning of the story…see if you can guess what it is. Review please! — Sam


	12. Games

**Inner Conflict — XI**

_Ichigo was surrounded by Arrancar. He swung Zangetsu over and over, slicing through the Arrancar two and three at a time. _She _was close by. He could feel her, albeit faintly. But he knew if he could defeat all the Arrancar, he would get to her…_

_Suddenly the Arrancar disappeared, and Rukia was standing right there. Ichigo opened his mouth to speak, but was momentarily distracted by how blank her eyes looked… emotionless…_

_A flash of silver streaked through the air between them. Rukia's Zanpakatou moved almost invisibly as it sliced through Ichigo, leaving a deep mark in his chest. Blood poured from the wound. He supposed it hurt, but all he could feel was shock._

_"Rukia…"_

You're pathetic_, a familiar voice spoke up, _move over King, this is _mine_.

_Ichigo started to protest, but the hollow had somehow already gagged him, thrown him into the corner of his mind. And no matter how hard Ichigo tried, he couldn't escape._

_He could, however, watch. Watch, as if detached from himself, as the hollow drew Zangetsu, as the hollow, with absolutely no problem at all, put the Zanpakatou right through Rukia…_

_"_No_!" Ichigo roared as he watched Rukia fall, watched her die by _his _hand. "NO!"_

"No!" Ichigo shot up in bed, gasping for breath. The images his mind had conjured up continued to attack him, even in the conscious world. He dropped his head into his hands, waiting for his breathing to return to normal.

_He can't control me, _he repeated over and over, _he can't control me_.

_Wanna bet? _The hollow taunted. _One sign of weakness is all I need, King. Just one sign…_

_You're not going to get it_, Ichigo shot back._ I won't let you control me again. _I'm _in control now. Don't forget it._

The hollow didn't seem at all put off by Ichigo's warnings. He'd been so much cockier lately. It worried Ichigo how arrogant the hollow seemed to be getting.

_Am I _scaring _you Ichigo? _The orange-haired man scowled, wishing the hollow was standing right in front of him so he could hit it. _What's wrong? Don't like that I'm right?_

_Oh go to hell._

_News flash King: I'm already there._

_Yeah well you dragged me along with you. Just FYI._

_Hey, why should I be here alone?  
_

Ichigo threw his blankets back, knowing sleep would be impossible now that the hollow had started talking. He threw a coat on over his pajamas and went out into the quiet night.

He didn't go anywhere in particular, at first. He was okay with just wandering around. He kept his eyes on the ground, the full moon lighting his way.

_You know all this brooding is starting to get annoying. How about some _action_, King? I wouldn't say no to a quick trip to Hueco Mundo—_

_Yeah, because you'd just _love _to see Aizen again, wouldn't you? Forget it, I'm settling this either here or in the living world. _That had been a decision Ichigo had made a long time ago. The hollow's eagerness to see Aizen again only emphasized how important it was that Ichigo stay away from Hueco Mundo. No need to give the damn pest _more _motivation to try and take control away.

_"I could offer it a lot more than you ever could. It likes to fight, doesn't it? Just like any hollow. He wants strong opponents. I could give those to him…"_

Ichigo shuddered, remembering Aizen's solemn promise to the hollow. _I liked him_, the hollow chuckled, _I think he's got the right idea about things._

_I think _you're _forgetting that _I'm _running the show here._

_Not for long King, _the hollow chuckled._ Wonder what you'll say when I tear your little girlfriend up…_

The words sent shock waves through Ichigo. _You lay one _hand _on her…! _He seethed silently, suddenly past words. His anger flared. The hollow laughed again. _What've you got against her anyway? She hasn't _done_ anything to you!_

_Just the fact that she exists, I guess. She makes you happy. And she annoys me, to be quite honest. And I can _never _escape her, she's always on your mind. Wonder what would happen if she were to, say…disappear?_

Ichigo clenched his fists, gritting his teeth together. He knew these were empty threats — he would _never _let the hollow take control.

_Change is coming King. Can't you feel it? _You're _not going to be in charge for much longer. When the time comes, not even your little girlfriend will be able to save you._

_She's stronger than you think._

_Is she strong enough to kill someone wearing your face — no matter how distorted it might be?_

Ichigo scowled but didn't answer. In a roundabout way, he already knew the answer. He'd heard all the stories about Shiba Kaien. He hoped he wouldn't have to put Rukia in a position like _that _ever again.

_It doesn't matter if she is or not. This is _my _body, and you're not taking control. It's as simple as that._

_Bold declaration King. Let's see if you can keep that promise when the time comes_._ It's like a game, you see. A game you don't have a chance in hell of winning._

Ichigo's scowl deepened. His whole _life _was like a game. He was still waiting to win.

* * *

_Would he really kill Ichigo? I know he wants the hollow…and bringing that _thing _out would be as bad as killing him…but the way he made it sound he would just kill Ichigo. Would Aizen really do that? If he wants the hollow that badly…would he really kill Ichigo?_

_Is that _really _a chance you're willing to take? _Another voice in the back of Rukia's head argued. _Are you _really _willing to pull mutiny and play with Ichigo's life? What if Aizen decides you're forced help is more important that trying to use the hollow in his sick games?_

_It's all about priorities. The hollow is stronger than I am, of _course _Aizen would want him. It's like chess — a rook for a pawn. Which is stronger? The rook. You wouldn't risk a pawn to save a rook, would you? Aizen wouldn't kill Ichigo just to keep me in line. _I'm _the pawn. Ichigo is the rook. He's the stronger one. Why kill the stronger one?_

_Ichigo is only stronger for Aizen if he surrenders control to the hollow — which you _know _he'll never do. That's the only way he's useful in Aizen's eyes. You, on the other hand, are useful through the means of blackmail. Which one is easier to manipulate — Ichigo's iron-clad self-control or _your _ridiculous inclination to protect him?_

It was a good argument. Rukia considered it for a moment, then realized she didn't know if she was winning or losing this fight. _That _was fairly disturbing.

_I just don't know. None of it seems right to me. I don't know if Aizen's just _saying _these things, or if he'll actually follow through on them, or if I can take that chance…it's all very confusing._

_You just don't like having to work for him. You're trying to find a loophole to escape. But there isn't one._

_I wouldn't leave without Momo-san. And she _doesn't _have a loophole — Aizen has no reason to not want to kill Captain Hitsugaya._

_Then why are you even thinking about this?_

For the same reason I'm arguing with myself — I'm crazy.

Rukia laughed quietly. It seemed like an appropriate answer, all things considered. It was the best answer she had, at any rate.

But this wasn't a laughing matter. She'd been going back and forth in her head all day, trying to figure out how to work her way out of this hell she'd thrown herself into. But there was no answer. Even if she thought she _could _leave, she wouldn't. She knew for a fact she couldn't leave Hinamori behind — _that _would just be cruel.

And…she just _couldn't _bring herself to put Ichigo's life in danger like that. She was still torn on whether or not Aizen could actually do it — and if he actually _would _— but was she willing to take the chance that he could — and would?

Rukia hit her head lightly against the wall a couple of times. She'd given up on the concept of trying to cure her ever-persisting headaches.

She'd been hiding in the room she and Momo she shared. She tried to hide there whenever she could. Anything was better was than pretending to be polite to Aizen, Ichimaru, or Tousen. Luckily she didn't have to deal with the blind former captain very often — he just seemed to be a third wheel, along with Aizen out of convenience. The other two…not so much.

Aizen didn't trust Rukia. It was very obvious. There was _always _had somebody following her. Even during that brief failure of a fight in the living world, Ichimaru had been there. Rukia liked that she was, at least, untrustworthy.

She was also predictable though. Aizen knew — he _had _to know — that Rukia wouldn't cause more trouble than he'd let her get away with. He was playing a very sick game and he was winning. He had to know that.

—_**:—:—13**__**th**__** Division, 5 Months Earlier—:—:—**_

"Are you just going to mope forever?"

Rukia looked over her shoulder. Ichigo was standing on the division roof behind her, hands in his pockets, watching her. She looked forward again quickly, wrapping her thin arms more securely around her knees. "Exactly how long are you planning on avoiding me, anyway? It kinda hurts my feelings."

Rukia winced, biting her lip. Too similar…

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Rukia I saw you run up here as soon as I walked into the division. You were in the middle of talking to Kiyone and Sentarou and the second you saw me you bolted. Now call me crazy but I'm ninety-nine percent certain that falls under the heading of 'avoiding me.' So, one more time — how much longer are you planning on avoiding me?"

Rukia's breath came out in a huff. She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. "How much longer are you planning on being annoying?"

"Funny." Ichigo plopped down next to her, clearly trying to be irritating, and crossed his legs, resting his hands on his knees and leaning forward to look at Rukia's face. "C'mon, I'm serious. I've been here for a month already and I think we've talked for maybe…three minutes. Collectively. Do you see a problem with that?"

Okay so he was right. She was avoiding him. She couldn't help it. She didn't have anything to say to him anymore. "Seriously. We could talk for hours…before. Okay, so it was arguing. The point is we were communicating…kind of. What happened to that?"

"Things change, Ichigo." She muttered without looking him in the eye. He sighed and leaned back, resting his palms on the roof and tilting his head to look up at the orange-pink sky of the setting sun.

"You're not supposed to." He sounded like a sullen child now. It almost made Rukia laugh. "You're supposed to be the same annoying pipsqueak you were when I met you. You're supposed to be a rock."

A rock. What an apt description. "Even rocks change, Ichigo. Sorry to burst your bubble. They get weathered and chip away. They're buried…"

Ichigo cut her off. "I feel like if I don't stop you, you're going to beat this metaphor to death. Since you're obviously in a 'take-things-way-too-seriously' mood, I'm going to tell you to shut up. Shut up."

"That was twice."

"It's worth repeating."

Rukia resisted the urge to turn and stick her tongue out at him, instead focusing harder on the left corner of the roof, looking determinedly away from him. "God you're stubborn. Normally that would have at least earned me a slap in the face."

"Normally. Things aren't normal anymore Ichigo." He scoffed at that.

"Rukia you're a Shinigami who sends spirits to a place where other spirits and Shinigami live and fight evil spiritual monster. I'm the unfortunate guy who can see spirits and met you one night. Nothing has ever been normal."

When he summarized it like that, he made a convincing argument. Rukia sighed and unwound her arms at last, standing up. "Where you going?" Ichigo asked, sounding surprised — and a little hurt. No doubt he thought they'd finally been getting somewhere.

"Down to talk to Kiyone and Sentarou." She jumped off without another word. Ichigo sighed audibly as he walked away and she distinctly heard him mutter something about her being a stubborn little vixen. She ignored him.

Normal. Well, he was right about one thing — things had never been normal when it came to the two of them. Their lives together had almost been like a game. One that neither of them had ever won…

—_**:—:—Present Day—:—:—**_

"Rukia-san?" Rukia sat up and looked over at the door. Hinamori was standing there, looking slightly apprehensive. "Um…A-Aizen wants to see us."

"Wonderful." Rukia stood up, stretching her arms. She'd been curled up for longer than she'd originally thought. "What does he want?"

"I don't know. Ichimaru just told me to get you and go down to see him." Rukia shook her head and followed Hinamori out.

"More games." She muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing Momo-san. Ignore me."

* * *

**Author's Note:**…Don't worry, I'm throwing 'em back into hell next chapter. There will be no more brooding and thinking and flashbacks, I promise. I'm not saying they'll get any less sucky, but at least there'll be fighting. That's good. I think…just review before I lose complete will to keep going. Please? — Sam


	13. Ichigo's Resolve, Rukia's Will

**Inner Conflict — XIII  
**

_Rukia opened her eyes, surprised. It had been quite awhile since Shirayuki had contacted her. She had a feeling her Zanpakatou's manifestation was no happier with her bearer than her bearer was with herself. Rukia couldn't figure out what Shirayuki was contacting her for _now, _though._

_"Please tell me you aren't going to lecture me." Rukia begged. The last thing she needed to hear now was somebody telling her to give up. Things were bad enough for her already; Aizen was starting to lose his patience with both her and Momo, if they weren't careful it was going to be the end of Ichigo and Toushirou. Neither of them were taking that risk. Rukia didn't care _what _Shirayuki said._

_"Look at yourself Rukia." Shirayuki started to say. "I can't believe you let yourself get in this far—"_

_"You know why I did it." Rukia snapped. "I already said don't lecture me. I don't want to hear it."_

_"You're im_possible_." Shirayuki shot back. "I don't know _why _you think this is going to do you any good anyways. When Aizen gets what he wants from you he'll just kill you and Hinamori and those two you're protecting. What good will all of this have been then? What will it have been for?"_

_"We're just going to have to hope we stay useful to him, aren't we then?" Rukia retorted. Did Shirayuki think she hadn't already thought of every possible way this screwed up mess could end? Did her Zanpakatou think she was _that _stupid? "Anyways I already know all this."_

_"And _what _do you plan to do about it?"_

_"I'll figure it out when I get to that point, won't I?"_

_Shirayuki looked less than satisfied with Rukia's two-bid answer. Rukia wasn't exactly satisfied with it either, but what could she _do_? Ichigo's life was sitting in the palm of her hands. There was no room for mistakes._

_"It's too bad." Shirayuki said after a moment. "You've never been closer to the answer, and yet you still don't see it."_

_Rukia blinked as Shirayuki began to blur from her sight. "Wait, what do you mean?"_

_But the manifestation was already gone. "Hey, hey! Get back here!"_

* * *

"Blackmail?"

Orihime had given up on her "creative" theories, trying to think on the practical line. It wasn't working very well. "What in the world could he _possibly _blackmail her with?" Ichigo asked, crossing his arms and leaning against a tree. They'd met in the park, like they always did. Uryu was taking care of Aiko and Souken. He had little interest in talking with Ichigo, who's mind was so consumed these days by Rukia. Orihime was still patient enough to help out the orange-haired captain though.

"I don't know." Orihime sighed, then snapped her fingers. "Maybe—"

"Orihime-san?"

"I know, I know." She sighed again. "How's Hitsugaya-kun?" She asked, finally settling on a good change of topic. Ichigo sighed.

"He's worse than I am. He won't _talk _to anybody, he hates showing emotion you know. So he just lets it bottle up inside him. It's screwing with him though. I feel bad, but it's not like we're exactly _close_, so I can't really talk to him about it. I've talked to Matsumoto-san though, and _she's _tried to talking to him. Twice, actually. It hasn't worked out either time. No surprise though."

"I feel so sorry for him." Orihime said quietly. "Hinamori-san told me she and him grew up together, they're really close. She said…"

But whatever Momo said was apparently supposed to stay secret, because Orihime let her voice trail off. That annoyed Ichigo just a little. He wouldn't have minded knowing what his vice-captain had to say about the tenth division captain. But he let the conversation go. "So things have been quiet here, then?'

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Orihime confirmed. "I wonder, though, if we _would _notice something. Where Aizen has Rukia, and she knows _everything _about Karakura, it would be easy for her to help him get around us, wouldn't it?"

"That's true." Ichigo sighed and raised his sleeve, examining the scar he would forever have. The reminder of his last encounter with Rukia. Orihime gasped when she saw it, her eyes wide.

"Kurosaki-kun, what happened?' He shook his head.

"I just…underestimated Rukia." Another gasp, this time more pronounced. Orihime stared at Ichigo, her mouth open.

"_Kuchiki-san _did that?"

"Uh huh." Ichigo nodded, shaking his sleeve down again. "I was stupid though. Rukia's greatest advantage is that she's so _short_. She's not the greatest at shunpo, but she's short enough it's easier for her to evade people — namely _me_. She was a real pain in the ass. And to think, I used to laugh at her about her height. I never thought in a fight between her and me it'd be _useful _for her. Then again I never thought I'd have to _fight _her."

His voice trailed off into a sigh. Orihime shook her head and looked away. She knew how much Ichigo was hurting. She wished she could do something to take that pain away.

* * *

Hinamori stared, wide-eyed, at the army Aizen had presented her with. Rukia just looked them over with disgust. How many foot soldiers did Aizen _have_, exactly? She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but what makes you think _this _attack will go any better than the last one? Nothing's changed except maybe the number of Arrancar you want us to bring along. Do you really think that'll make a difference?"

Hinamori gave Rukia a strange glance, obviously wondering what the raven-haired Shinigami was up to. The truth was, Rukia just _really _didn't want to have to go to Karakura Town. She was hoping she could talk Aizen out of it…

No such luck, of course. "This isn't _just _about attacking Karakura Town, Rukia-san. Though I appreciate your concern about wanting to save some of my soldiers, I assure you, it's not necessary. I know what I'm doing."

Rukia bit down on her lip until she could taste blood, then looked back at Hinamori, who obviously had no argument.

_Damn_…

* * *

Uryu smiled softly as he ran a hand through his daughter's hair. Aiko had, for some reason, refused to go to sleep, and had insisted that Uryu sit with her and read. At least Souken had gone down easy enough. He didn't need _two _fussy kids.

Now, though, Aiko was asleep. Which left Uryu to focus on the more important things. Like the fact that his wife was still out with a certain orange-haired idiot.

Not that he didn't trust Orihime. It just…bothered him how much she seemed to want to help Ichigo. Because helping Ichigo meant helping a certain raven-haired Shinigami.

Kuchiki Rukia. Now _she _bothered him. He'd gained a _lot _of respect for her when she and Renji had gone to Hueco Mundo against orders to help them rescue Orihime. He'd _lost _most of that respect when she had taken off after what had happened with Ichigo. Now he just didn't care for her at _all_.

He stiffened suddenly and looked up at the ceiling as he felt a surge in the spiritual pressure. _Oh _crap. _Not now_, he groaned inwardly as he darted out of Aiko's room, down the stairs, and out the door. His eyes darted to the sky as soon as he got outside. It looked as if the sky was ripping in half. Something Uryu knew all too well.

"So the attack begins."

Ichigo straightened up, his eyes on the sky, his teeth gritted in anger. "Aw _fuck_!" He swore loudly, diving to get his Soul Pager. Just his luck that he'd be the _only _freaking Shinigami in the damn living world.

Orihime jumped up, her eyes wide with fright. "Souken and Aiko!" She whirled around and started running towards her house.

"Please." Ichigo scoffed and grabbed her arm. "Hang on."

It took three shunpos to get to Orihime's house. She stumbled a little when they landed again, looking unbalanced. "I don't think I like shunpo that much." She sounded a little woozy.

Uryu was waiting on the steps for them. His eyes were on the sky, his teeth grinding together. "Get inside Orihime." He said tensely. Ichigo saw him flex his fingers, as if he were ready to _throw _Orihime into the house. Luckily she listened and darted inside, going right up the stairs. "There's a lot of them coming. I'm guessing you're by yourself here?"

"Won't be for long." Ichigo already knew what number he wanted. If Karakura Town was involved, then Momo and Rukia would be as well. There was only one person he'd call for that.

* * *

Toushirou jumped as the phone rang loudly in his ear. Since when did _he _fall asleep at his desk? It was such a…Matsumoto-like thing to do. "Hello?" He grumbled into the phone, not even sure if he was speaking into the right part of it.

"Toushirou?" He blinked a few times. It was Kurosaki.

"What do you want?" He muttered, suddenly weary. He knew Ichigo had planned to go to the living world to update Uryu and Orihime. No doubt that was where he was calling from. And _that _could only mean trouble.

"We've got a problem — a _big _problem." Ichigo just confirmed Toushirou's worries. "How soon do you think you can get over here and how many can you bring?"

Toushirou was alert now. "What's going on?"

"Arrancar coming. Lots of them. I'm willing to bet Momo and Rukia are going to be with them." Toushirou scowled.

"I'll be over. _Soon_. Wish I could bring the old team, but with Ikkaku and Yumichika dead or captured and Kuchiki on _their _side, that's not an option."

"Bring Matsumoto-san and Renji then. And whoever else you think will be useful. Just get here _soon_." And he hung up. Toushirou swore loudly as he slammed the phone down and jumped up. Exactly _who _was he supposed to bring? Anybody he would have chosen besides Matsumoto and Abarai were all out of the question for one reason or another. He gritted his teeth together as he stormed the halls of the division, is mind racing with different people he could try to ask. He was coming up blank.

"Matsumoto!" He shouted as soon as he got outside.

"Present." She appeared behind him as if she had been waiting for him.

"Good. Send a message to…" He ran over names quickly in his head. "Kira and Abarai," he decided finally. Two captains would be good enough. "Tell them to meet at the First Division. You come too. We're going to the living world."

* * *

Ichigo swung his Zanpakatou again and again, slicing the Arrancar apart two and three at a time. Uryu had given him a general direction to go in which he'd find Rukia and Momo, but they were hiding their spiritual pressure, and Ichigo had long since left Uryu behind, so asking him was out of the question. He just jumped from rooftop to rooftop, killing any Arrancar he happened to stumble into. They weren't strong, there were just so _many _of them. Even Uryu, using as many arrows as he could at once, couldn't make a dent in the amount. They could drown everyone in sheer numbers alone.

"Shouldn't we fight?" Momo asked Rukia in a quiet voice. The raven-haired Shinigami shook her head.

"They'll find us on their own. Why tempt fate sooner than we have to?"

"Urahara-san!"

Ichigo found the ex-Shinigami, Yoruichi, and Kurosaki Isshin all together. Ichigo's father was in his Shinigami form.

"Hee-eey Ichigo! How come you don't come visit—?"

Ichigo punched his father over the head as he walked past him. "Shut up old man. Urahara-san, I need to help me with something."

"Eh? What do you need Kurosaki-kun?"

"Rukia and Hinamori Momo are here somewhere. I need you to point me towards them."

"Kurosaki!" A new voice joined them. Hitsugaya Toushirou appeared next to him, his face serious. "Where are they?"

"I'm working on finding out. Urahara-san?"

"Head east. I do believe you'll find the two there."

Toushirou didn't wait for Urahara to finish the sentence. Ichigo took off after him. "Who else came?" He asked the white-haired captain as they ran.

"Kira, Abarai, and Matsumoto. They were the best I could think of, considering how little time I had to think about it."

"They'll do." Ichigo agreed as they ran. He only had one focus at the moment; it had little to do with who Hitsugaya had brought along with him.

Momo exhaled loudly. "They're coming."

Rukia closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "Wrong. They're here."

They turned around in sync and found themselves facing Toushirou and Ichigo. Fights raged around them, Arrancar screamed as they were killed by the Shinigami attacks and Quincy arrows alike. And still more came. It was ridiculous. But at that moment, the four Shinigami had eyes for no one but their opposite.

Rukia's hand drifted automatically to her Zanpakatou. Momo, Toushirou, and Ichigo all repeated the movement. They knew where this was going. Rukia reflected briefly on the conversation she'd had with Shirayuki the other day. And she realized how ready she was for this to be over. She sprang forward, drawing her sword as she ran. Ichigo was just barely fast enough to deflect her attack.

Momo watched out of the corner of her eye as Ichigo and Rukia Shunpo-ed away to find their own battle area. Her main focus was Toushirou though. She bit on her lip to keep from saying something. She couldn't let anything slip. It would only get him into trouble. So instead she did the only thing that made sense for the moment. She attacked.

Rukia once again found herself counting her blessings that she was short. It made it so much easier to dodge Ichigo's too-wide attacks. She tried…not too hold back, exactly, but to not hurt him either. She still felt bad over the hit she'd landed last time. She knew Ichigo wasn't trying his hardest either. Neither of them could fight at full strength.

As wrapped up in the fight as Ichigo was, he lost track of what was going on around him. He was too narrow-minded that way. Rukia, fortunately, wasn't. She saw the Arrancar come up behind him, saw it rear to attack. To attack _Ichigo_.

Instinct took over common sense. Rukia deflected another attack and, much to Ichigo's surprise, sprang past him, putting herself in front of the attack.

Ichigo looked around just in time to see the Arrancar bring one of it's large claws down, slicing into Rukia, spilling blood everywhere. Ichigo's eyes widened.

"_Rukia_!"

Momo ducked around Toushirou's attack; both heard Ichigo's yell. Momo eyes widened in fear. Had something happened to her?

"Oh…_damn_." She muttered, Shunpo-ing away from Toushirou. Finding out if Rukia was okay was more important than trying to look like she was fighting Toushirou. Anyways, the white-haired captain was right behind her. They could pick up the fight later, if it became necessary.

Ichigo held Rukia tightly, trying to stop the flow of the blood. A near-impossible task; the wound was too deep.

"Rukia-san!"

Momo was standing over Rukia and Ichigo, Toushirou right behind her. The vice-captain got down on her knees at once, biting her lip. "What happened?"

Ichigo spit the answer out through his teeth. "She put herself in front of an attack that was meant for _me_."

Momo swallowed hard, narrowing her eyes. "_Rukia-san_…" She sighed. "I guess I'm not too surprised."

"Well I am!" Ichigo shouted, losing his patience. "What the hell's going on Momo?! You and Rukia were supposed to have _betrayed _us, why is she trying to _save _me?!"

Momo flinched. "Calm down Kurosaki." Toushirou snapped, though he was thinking the same thing. He had passed confused awhile ago.

"I'm sorry." Momo muttered. "Put her down, Captain. I'll take care of her. You guys are supposed to be fighting."

Momo didn't _really _think Ichigo was going to surrender Rukia, did she? He finally had her back—

"Come on Kurosaki, she's right." Toushirou turned his glare on Momo. "Don't go anywhere. I mean it. You'd better both be here when we get back."

Momo winced; Toushirou had never spoken to her like _that _before. "We will be. I…I promise."

_This is going to get them killed. But there's nothing I can do anymore. It's out of my hands._

Momo sighed.

* * *

_Rukia's eyes snapped open. "Back here already?" She grumbled, looking around the icy landscape of her mind. "Shirayuki must want to yell some more. Couldn't she have picked a better time?"_

_"Stop complaining." The Zanpakatou's manifestation appeared in front of Rukia; the violet-eyed Shinigami jumped back in surprise. "I don't believe I can sneak up on you that easily."_

_Rukia was fully prepared to beg. She would if it'd get Shirayuki off her back. "Why did you bring me here _now_?"_

_"Now seemed to be as good a time as any."_

_"I was in the middle of a fight—!"_

_"And you were just struck down." Shirayuki cut Rukia off. "You have a few minutes before anybody will expect you to wake up, with the wound you received…I'm only requiring ten minutes of your undivided attention Rukia, you can give that to me can't you?"_

_Rukia knew she didn't have a choice. "What's so important that it couldn't wait until after this, then?"_

_For the first time in a _long _time, a small smile played on Shirayuki's lips. Rukia was shocked. That smile couldn't mean _anything _good. "You finally found your answer."_

_The words stumped Rukia. "…Huh?"_

_Shirayuki sighed. "You still don't understand, do you? I guess I'll just have to show you then." She raised her hand, pointing a finger at the area behind Rukia, who looked over her shoulder. Her eyes widened._

_Ichigo was there. How he had gotten there, she couldn't even _begin _to guess. But he was there. Tied to a pole. Unconscious._

_Rukia's hand flew to her Zanpakatou's sheath; she had every intention of cutting him down. But her Zanpakatou was gone. She looked down in surprise, then looked over at Shirayuki. Her sword's manifestation was holding her sword, already in it's Shikai. Shirayuki raised the sword and, in a fluid movement, shot past Rukia. Towards Ichigo. Rukia realized in horror what Shirayuki's intentions were._

_"_No_!" She shouted angrily, turning fully. She moved faster than she could ever remember moving before, using Shunpo to fly past Shirayuki, putting herself between Ichigo and the sword. Stupid of her. She had no way to defend herself, no time even to use Kido. But then, what was one more_ _injury in Ichigo's defense? She closed her eyes, waiting for her own sword to rip through her skin…_

_It never came. After a minute, Rukia opened her eyes again, one a time. She was alone, Shirayuki gone. She looked over her shoulder and saw that Ichigo was gone as well._

_"What the hell—?"_

_"Do you understand now?" She jumped and whirled around. Shirayuki standing behind her, watching her. At the same moment, Rukia felt her sword appear in her hand again._

_"No." She said, furious. "What are you trying to _tell _me, Shirayuki?"_

_"For the longest time you wondered why you couldn't achieve Bankai, what you were missing. _He _is the answer."_

_Rukia blinked. "I need…Ichigo?"_

_"Close." Shirayuki nodded. "Rukia do you know why _Ichigo _wanted to achieve Bankai so badly?"_

_"Yeah, he wanted to be able to fight my brother."_

_"Wrong answer." Rukia blinked. "He wanted to achieve Bankai for _you_, Rukia. He was resolved to save you, no matter what the cost."_

_Rukia still wasn't following. "And this applies to me…how?"_

_Shirayuki sighed. "Rukia would you die for Ichigo?"  
_

_Her immediate answer was, _in a heartbeat, _but Shirayuki continued before she could answer. "In order for you to achieve Bankai, you had to show that you were willing to protect Ichigo. No matter what the cost. _That _is your strength."_

_Shirayuki disappeared. Rukia jumped in surprise. "Now," the manifestation's voice echoed in Rukia's head, "try to strike me, Rukia."_

_Rukia closed her eyes, remembering all the other times she had stood exactly like this, taken the same actions. But something was different now. Something had…changed._

_Her eyes flew open and she whirled around, raising the sword and swinging it down in two fluid motions. It went right through Shirayuki. Rukia blinked, surprised, and took a step back as Shirayuki disappeared._

_"You have your answer now Rukia. Just as Ichigo's resolve to save you helped _him _to become stronger, your will to protect him will help _you_."_

_Rukia's mindscape was beginning to disappear. But she had one more question for Shirayuki. "What if I'd never met Ichigo?" She asked loudly._

_"There's no 'what-if' in this situation. You two were destined to meet from the day each of you were born."_

_Rukia considered this for a moment. So her's and Ichigo's meeting had been one of fate? She wasn't sure she minded that too much…_

* * *

**Author's Note: **So I have an idea in mind for Rukia's Bankai…and it's pretty creative if I do say so myself…but I don't know. Reviews make me update faster (hint) — Sam


	14. Bankai

**Inner Conflict — XIV**

Rukia moaned as her eyes struggled to open. She could hear utter chaos all around her, and assumed that Shirayuki had only kept her in her mind for her promised ten minutes. But of course, it always felt _much _longer when she was with Shirayuki.

"Rukia-san?"

Rukia jerked at the familiar voice, her eyes finally remembering how to open themselves. And she found herself looking into Momo's worried face. "You're okay." The brown-haired Shinigami sighed with relief. "I was starting to worry…"

"You worry too much." Rukia muttered as she pushed herself up, rubbing her head. Momo looked alarmed.

"H-Hold it Rukia-san, you're injured—!"

"I've never been better." Rukia waved Momo off as she stood, wobbling slightly. Shirayuki had at least been kind enough to stop the bleeding (though it wouldn't last) but that didn't stop the pain.

"Rukia-san I can't let you — I told Ichigo I'd—"

"Momo-san." Rukia gave Momo a stern look. "Are you coming or not?"

Momo hesitated. "Rukia-san, you can't—"

"Well I am. Now let's go."

She wasn't bothering to hide her spiritual pressure. It was the first thing Ichigo realized when he felt their approach. She wasn't hiding it, making it easy for him to pick it out of the chaos. What was she _doing_?

"That _idiot_!" Ichigo raged, whirling to face the direction he sensed her from. "What the _fuck _does she think she's _doing_?!"

"Quit yelling moron." And then she was behind him. "They can hear you all the way back in _Soul Society_."

So he wasn't as good at sensing spiritual pressure as he'd thought. _That _was nothing new. He whirled around to face her, fuming. "Have you lost what little bit of a mind I _thought _you had?!"

"Yeah, awhile ago." Something strange flickered in her eyes. Ichigo backed off for a moment. He knew what 'awhile ago' meant.

"Will you explain to me _now_? _Please_?"

Rukia looked at the Arrancar surrounding them. They were all looking at her, one of their two supposed leaders, waiting for their new orders. She closed her eyes, sighing. "I don't know what to do anymore." She murmured after a minute. Ichigo could hear the strain in her voice. He rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Quit taking all the responsibility for yourself. You're not strong enough for that. Let me help you, Rukia."

Rukia felt as if someone had let the air out of her. She sighed deeply, her eyes on the ground. No doubt Aizen, with is constant spies watching Rukia, would be hearing every word of this conversation. No doubt the wrong answer would send the Arrancar on a new attack. She almost wished Momo was there, but the brown-haired Shinigami had taken off to find Toushirou. Rukia was alone here.

And without warning, a large, rough hand encased her's. A small, surprised gasp escaped Rukia's lips, and she looked around at Ichigo, shocked violet eyes meeting solemn amber. No. She wasn't alone.

A small smile creased her lips as she looked back at the Arrancar, eyes glowing with defiance. "Tell Aizen," she said, her voice strong and clear, "he can take his deal and shove it. I've _had it_."

The Arrancar attacked.

"Shirou-chan!"

Toushirou had never been more pleased to hear Momo calling for him — or more horrified.

"What are you _doing_ Hinamori?!" He whirled around to face her, his eyes narrowed in fury. The Arrancar stopped at the sight of her, unsure of what to do in the presence of one of their two leaders. "Why are you here, you were supposed to stay with Kuchiki—" _You were supposed to stay out of danger_.

"Well she took off to find Ichigo, so I thought I'd go find you."

Toushirou decided not to ask how someone who was sliced up could stand and run off. He focused on the more important matter. "Why are you here?"

Momo looked over at the Arrancar who were still watching them, still waiting for the order to kill. She looked back at Toushirou, who was waiting for his answer. "I don't know…Shirou-chan. I don't know what to do anymore. I think Rukia-san's made her choice…but I don't know if I can make the same one."

Because Momo knew what Rukia's choice was. She knew the raven-haired Shinigami had chosen to turn away from Aizen — she'd confirmed _that _when she'd gone to fight Ichigo. But Momo didn't know if was strong enough to make the same choice. She wanted to, she really did, but…

"What do I do, Shirou-chan?" She murmured, looking at the ground.

"Trust me." She looked up in time to see him walk past her, putting himself between her and the Arrancar. "Trust me, Hinamori. Please. I want to help you. Let me help you."

Momo wiped hurriedly at the tears filling her eyes. How bothersome, crying at a time like this…

"Shirou-chan—"

"Later, okay? Let me finish off this sorry pack of rats. We can send their bodies back to Aizen as a message." He liked that idea way too much. Momo could hear it in his voice. She took a step back.

"Thank you Shirou-chan."

She could tell he was rolling his eyes when he spoke. "Idiot. What are you thanking me for? I'm just doing my job."

He attacked without another word.

"They're worse than ants!" Ichigo moaned as his Getsuga Tenshou tore through _more _Arrancar. "They just keep coming and coming!"

"Oh quit complaining." Rukia called as she took out a couple more Arrancar. They were attacking her relentlessly; she happily returned the attacks, imagining that each one of them was Aizen. She looked down at the pure white blade of her Shikai. It felt…different somehow. There was something different. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on…

"Oi, Rukia, quit day-dreaming!" She jumped and whirled around, slicing through an Arrancar that had snuck up on her. "Jeez." Ichigo moaned as he came up next to her. "And you wonder why you're always getting hurt—"

"Shut up." It wasn't the best response she'd ever come up with, but she didn't have time to think of anything clever.

Ichigo opened his mouth to respond…

_Better move faster King. You don't have much time left now…_

His mouth snapped shut, his eyes widening. The hollow's voice sounded louder than usual…

"Ichigo?" Rukia's voice sounded far away. "Hey, Ichigo, are you okay?"

He shook his head, trying to clear it. And to think, he'd just accused Rukia of zoning out…

"What's wrong?" Rukia demanded, worry tracing her voice.

"Nothing. Get moving or I'm leaving you behind." He took off without another word. Rukia stared for a moment, stuttering before running off after him.

"Damn you Ichigo…"

_She's a tough one, isn't she? Think she'll ever give up? Not that I'd mind if she didn't…_

_Stay the hell away from her_, Ichigo growled silently, swinging his Zanpakatou through some Arrancar in his way.

_I can only do that if you do that. And I _know _you're not about to…_

Ichigo didn't answer. Damn hollow was right…

"Hey!" Ichigo skidded to a halt and jumped back as Rukia ran in front of him, swinging Shirayuki through an Arrancar in his path. "And you yell at _me _for day-dreaming? Pay attention moron."

"Oh shut up."

A group of Arrancar appeared suddenly, surrounding them. Rukia made a face. "There's more coming from somewhere." She muttered. Ichigo didn't have time to question what she meant before the Arrancar attacked.

"There's too many." Momo said as she watched Toushirou slice through the last of his opponents. He looked over his shoulder at her.

"What do you mean?"

"We…there were a lot of Arrancar with…us. But between you and Captain Kurosaki and Urahara-san and everyone else that's fighting, they should have all been taken care of by now. There have to be more coming in from somewhere."

"Like somebody turning on a faucet."

Momo nodded silently. Toushirou looked around, stretching his senses out. But all he could sense was the onslaught of Arrancar. They were definitely coming from _somewhere_ — but there was no way to tell _where_.

"Something's not right here."

The problem with the Arrancar was that they weren't _strong_; for all intensive purposes they were a bunch of weaklings. But there were so _many _of them, and they didn't _stop _coming. The present Shinigami (or former Shinigami, as the case may have been), were strong, but eventually they _would _tire out.

This fact was weighing heavily on Rukia's mind as she swung Shirayuki again and again and again. More Arrancar were coming in from somewhere. And if they didn't figure out where, they were _going _to be crushed by the numbers.

_So what can I do about it?_

_Are you afraid? _Rukia blinked in surprise. Shirayuki chose the _worst _times…

_Whatever you want to yell at me for, yell later, would you?_

_You're afraid. I don't believe it. After all the work you put yourself through, your _afraid _to use the power you've achieved. Honestly Rukia…_

Rukia knew arguing was absolutely worthless. Now wasn't the time to get into it with Shirayuki, she needed to stay focused…

_Don't be afraid. If you're afraid of the power, it'll eat you alive._

Yeah, _that _was comforting. Rukia gripped the hilt of her Zanpakatou tightly with both hands, taking a deep breath.

Ichigo jumped forward, taking out two more Arrancar before looking back at Rukia. She seemed amazingly hesitant considering how gung-ho she'd been when she'd first found him.

_Better focus less on her and more on yourself_, again, the hollow's voice sounded louder than usual. _You're almost up King. It's gonna be my turn soon…_

_Only when I rot in hell._

Ichigo snapped back to reality as yet _more _Arrancar appeared in front of them. "And then there are more."

"Fine, fine." He heard Rukia mutter. "You win. Happy?"

Ichigo shifted his eyes to look at her. "Sorry, what?"

She sighed, her Zanpakatou gripped tightly in both hands and held it straight up and down in front of her. "Just…take a step back, okay? I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work."

Ichigo stepped back, raising an eyebrow at his companion. "What exactly are you planning on doing?"

"Something incredibly stupid. Just bare with me for a minute." She took a deep breath before uttering a single word: "_Bankai_."

Ichigo jumped back in surprise as a pillar of white erupted around Rukia, enveloping and hiding her from view.

_The hell…did she just say _Bankai_? Since when can she…?_

Momo and Toushirou looked around as the already high spiritual pressure spiked once more. "What's that?"

"Not sure. It's coming from where Kurosaki and Kuchiki are though." Momo bit her lip. "Let's go check it out."

Of course, they had more Arrancar standing in their way. "I don't think we're going anywhere anytime soon…"

Ichigo was still gawking when the pillar of snow and ice died away. He blinked as he looked Rukia over. Sode no Shirayuki was still clutched tightly in her hand, the ribbons on the hilt flowing as if caught in the wind. The blade was mostly unchanged, other than becoming a little thinner and a little longer. And Rukia Shinigami robes…

All Ichigo could do was gape. Her robes were almost exactly like _his _Bankai robes, except for being white instead of black.

"Whoa. When the hell did you learn to do _that_?"

The Arrancar didn't seem as impressed. Once they were sure the show was done, they sprang forward to attack. Rukia took a single step backwards.

_Don't be afraid. Control the power. Don't let it control you._

One flash-step put Rukia up in the air. The Arrancar swarmed below her like thousands of ants. She raised her Zanpakatou over her head and swung it down. A beam of white shot off the blade, flying ground-ward and slamming right into the middle of the horde of Arrancar, encasing each and every one of them in ice.

All Ichigo could do was stare. In one swing she'd put well over a hundred Arrancar foot-soldiers in the ground — figuratively-speaking. _That _was something Ichigo had never thought Rukia was capable of.

"Nice." He spoke dryly as Rukia touched ground again. "Why didn't you do that ten minutes ago?"

Rukia looked at the sword in her hands. Her eyes were wide, as if even _she _couldn't believe what she'd done. "This is all…very new to me."

"Whoa."

They looked around and saw Hitsugaya and Hinamori standing there, both giving Rukia wide-eyed looks. "Rukia-san…"

Rukia looked around, avoiding the gaping gazes. She'd just noticed something odd. "No more Arrancar."

"She's right." Hitsugaya was looking around now too. "We killed a few on the way here, but it seems like what was left all congregated here. I'm going to go check in with Kira, Abarai, and Matsumoto, see what's going on with them—"

Ichigo saw Hitsugaya's mouth moving, but somebody turned off the sound, replacing it with a long buzzing noise. And suddenly the hollow was screaming.

_Ha_ha_! Feel that? Taste it? Taste amazing…I love it, I love it!_

"Ichigo!" Rukia dove for Ichigo as he fell to his knees, gripping his head tightly, his teeth making a sickening metallic noise as they grinded together. "Ichigo, what's wrong? _Ichigo_!"

Hitsugaya and Hinamori exchanged horrified looks. Rukia knelt down on the ground in front of Ichigo, trying to get his attention. "Hey, this isn't funny, c'mon—"

She was cut off by a silver flash flying up towards her.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Ha! You see, it _is _possible to type seven pages worth of nothing! /pats herself on the back/ Okay, anyways, sorry for the slow update. This no internet at home thing is becoming a real inconvenience. I'll try to get my next update up faster. Review _please_, and tell me it's not _too _terrible — Sam


	15. Again, For Now

**Inner Conflict — XV**

Rukia jerked her Zanpakatou up just in time to block the sudden attack. The resulting impact threw Rukia backwards. She hit the ground with an surprise, "oof!" and the wind was knocked out of her.

"What the hell—?" Toushirou's and Momo's eyes flew to Ichigo, who was still hunched over on the ground. But his Zanpakatou was out. _He _had attacked Rukia. "What are you doing Kurosaki—"

A strange chuckle reached Rukia's ears. She straightened up, still struggling to breathe, and her eyes found Ichigo. His body was shaking with laughter. Except that didn't sound _anything _like him.

Ichigo's head snapped up suddenly, and Rukia was greeted with a terrifying sight. Ichigo's hollow mask had formed over his face, his eyes a sickening yellow color. But there was something…_wrong_. Something different. Rukia had seen this form during the war, it shouldn't have scared her.

"I told him not to be so weak." The hollow cackled as he stood up. His voice was distorted, high-pitched. Rukia winced at the sound of it. "First sign of weakness, that's what I told him. Shame he didn't listen to me."

Rukia was shaken. She stumbled up, trying to make sense of what was happening. "Ichigo." She managed to say, her throat closing around the word. "What…what happened, he…he can control it, he can—"

"That's the funny thing though. Spend fifteen years out of your mind, you tend to get weak. Really, I have _you _to thank for that." Rukia winced, hurt flashing in her eyes. "Let's see, how can I pay you back…? Oh, I know! I can make your death painless!"

He sprang forward. Rukia knew she should defend herself. But she couldn't bring herself to raise her Zanpakatou. Her fingers shook as she gripped the hilt; Shirayuki remained motionless at her side.

_Clang!_

That was the sound of Hitsugaya's Zanpakatou meeting Zangetsu. The tenth squad captain grunted as Ichigo — no, as the _hollow _tried to push past his defense. "Get out of here Kuchiki." Hitsugaya snapped, not taking his eyes away from the hollow. When Rukia didn't respond, "move it! That's an order."

A hand grabbed Rukia's shoulder. Hinamori was standing behind her, brown eyes wide with fright. "Come on Rukia-san, listen to him."

It wasn't the same. That was what Rukia tried to tell herself as she allowed Hinamori to drag her away. It wasn't the same, it wasn't the same…

"Damn it Kurosaki, snap out of it!" Toushirou snapped as he dodged another attack. He didn't _want _to be in this fight…but if he hadn't interfered Kuchiki would be dead now. He wasn't sure he could live with that on his conscious. "For God's sake, fight _back_! What the hell was all that training for if you still let the hollow take over?!"

The hollow laughed. "You idiot, Ichigo can't hear you! It's me now, only me!"

Hitsugaya swung Hyonimaru up, blocking the hollow's wild attack. This was just a game to him. He wasn't even taking it seriously.

But _damn_, he was _strong_…

Momo and Rukia watched in horror as Hitsugaya tried to fight the hollow — and failed. He was too strong. Momo bit her lip, worry clear in her eyes.

"Shirou-chan…"

"You know, Rukia-san, I'm impressed. I never thought you had it in you to pull off achieving Bankai."

Momo's and Rukia's eyes widened. They whirled around and found themselves face-to-face with Aizen. Rukia took an automatic step in front of Momo, hiding her friend from Aizen's view. "What the hell are you doing here?" She demanded, struggling to keep her voice from shaking.

"Enjoying the show." He said simply, his eyes shifting up to the hollow and Hitsugaya, who were still fighting. Something clicked in Rukia's mind. Aizen's assurances that he _could_, in fact, kill Ichigo and Hitsugaya whenever he wanted to, his subtle hints about having a spy in the Seireitei…

"The hollow."

Aizen smiled. Momo shuddered. It was a twisted version of the smile she'd once loved…

"You catch on fast Rukia-san. That's right. The hollow became very attached to my spiritual pressure when Kurosaki was last in Hueco Mundo. It fed him like candy, made him stronger. He'd only have to feel it once to break through." Rukia's hand shook with fury as she gripped the hilt of her Zanpakatou tightly.

"Damn you…" Stupidly, knowing it would accomplish nothing, Rukia sprang forward, Zanpakatou raised.

"Rukia-san don't—!"

She didn't see Aizen's hand move. But she saw the flash of light, and she certainly felt the pain of the Kido attack as it hit her, throwing her backwards. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_, she whimpered silently as pain coursed through her body.

Hitsugaya looked over as the familiar spiritual pressure registered in his mind. And he saw Aizen, standing in front of Momo.

"Hinamori!" He turned to run to her, but the hollow stopped him.

"Hang on a second there Shirou, we're not done yet!"

Momo wanted to go to Rukia, to find out of she was okay. But she felt as if someone had glued her feet to the ground. She couldn't move, save for the fact that she was trembling like a leaf. "Wasted talent." Aizen sighed. "But unfortunately you both seemed to have fulfilled your purpose. If you're going to start fighting against me…"

He brought his hand up. It was crackling with energy. "Don't worry. I'll make this as painless as possible."

Something inside Momo snapped. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand flew out. Shock kept Aizen from reacting, from stopping her as she shot the Kido blast at him. He dodged it. Barely.

Rukia coughed as she sat up, rubbing her head. _Damn _that had hurt…

Her eyes quickly found Momo. And she was greeted with a shocking sight. Momo and Aizen. Facing off.

_My God, is she actually planning on _fighting _him…?_

"Momo-san, hang on—!" Rukia moved too quickly. Pain tore through her, immobilizing her. She winced, her hand flying up to her chest. _Damn it, damn it, damn it…_

Toushirou had seen Momo's attack out of the corner of his eye. He didn't have time to be shocked. But that didn't stop him from being impressed. _She attacked him. _Hinamori _attacked _Aizen_…_

He focused back on his fight with the hollow as Zangetsu came unnervingly close to his body. _Damn it he's playing with me. He could have killed me any time now, he's doing this on purpose, he's trying to stop me from getting to Hinamori…_

Momo's face was set, determined. It still hurt, staring Aizen in the face, knowing how much she had once admired him. But he _wasn't _the Aizen she'd known. He _wasn't _the man she had admired. He was the enemy. He had to die.

It hurt to think about it. So she decided not to think. "Impressive, Momo-san." Aizen sounded calm, as if that had just been a demonstration. Momo shivered slightly at the sound of his voice. "But do you really think _you _can stop me all alone?"

Of course she didn't. The only person she'd ever seen fight _on-par _with Aizen was Ichigo. Momo knew she didn't stand a chance. But she wasn't about to stand around and watch her friends die.

A hand rested itself on Momo's shoulder. She looked around and saw Rukia standing with her. The raven-haired Shinigami's face was twisted in pain, but, like Momo's, it was set with determination.

"She's not alone."

Aizen didn't seem put off by this. He knew, as did the two Shinigami facing him down, that he was stronger than both of them, even both together. Not to mention he had Ichigo's hollow on his side — for the moment. And they had nothing.

"Well, this looks like a bit of a bind you've all gotten yourselves into." Momo and Rukia jumped and looked towards the roof of the nearest building. Renji, Matsumoto, and Kira were standing there, watching the scene in shock. "Honestly, can't you leave you alone for even a minute…"

In a flash, Renji and Kira were in front of Momo and Rukia, blocking them from view. And then Matsumoto was standing behind them, her eyes on her captain, who was still locked in his endless struggle with the hollow, who seemed to be enjoying teasing the white-haired captain.

"As much as I'd love to ask what the hell's going on, I feel like this isn't quite the right time."

Kira and Renji gripped their Zanpakatous tightly. Aizen, however, had lost interest. "I got what I came here for. That's enough for now."

"Running away already?"

"You make it sound cowardly, Abarai. Why stay when there's nothing left for me to do? My purpose _here _has been fulfilled." He shifted his eyes to gaze at the hollow, who was still locked in battle with Hitsugaya. "We'll have to do something about him…"

A hole appeared in the air right behind the hollow very suddenly. And Hitsugaya, without realizing what he was doing, pushed him right through. "No!"

Everybody looked back at Aizen just in time to see him step through another hole. One by one the spiritual pressures of the remaining Arrancar disappeared. They were retreating. For now.

Rukia fell to her knees, closing her eyes. Momo knelt down next to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Rukia-san, are you okay?"

_"Spend fifteen years out of your mind, you tend to get weak. Really, I have you to thank for that."_

"It's all my fault." Rukia murmured, swallowing hard. "The hollow…and he…this is all my fault."

"It isn't!" Momo protested. "Aizen was just…he was using us, all of us. You didn't do anything wrong."

Rukia just shook her head. That was all anybody seemed to tell her. It wasn't her fault. If she hadn't don't anything wrong, then why did people need to keep saying that?

"We should head back." Kira brought them back to the issue at hand. "Yamamoto's going to need to know about this."

Renji and Hitsugaya nodded in agreement, their faces grim. Matsumoto knelt down next to Momo and Rukia. "You're coming back with us, right?"

She sounded almost pleading. Hitsugaya knew she'd missed them, her friends, while they'd been gone. "Of course." Momo said quietly, looking sadly at Rukia. As she watched, Rukia's Bankai faded away, leaving nothing but Rukia in her regular Shinigami robes, her Zanpakatou back in it's normal form. All three vice-captains stood, Rukia keeping her eyes on the ground.

"Matsumoto." She nodded, stepping forward and raising her Zanpakatou up, holding it out and turning it in mid-air. The gate opened, Hell Butterflies flying out to escort them home. Kira, Renji, and Matsumoto went through first. Rukia followed them after a moment. Momo started to go as well, but Toushirou grabbed her hand, pulling her back for a moment. Their eyes locked.

"Shirou-chan, what—"

And then his arms were around her, holding her tightly. For a moment Momo couldn't speak. She relaxed, raising her arms and wrapping them around him. They stood silently for a minute, happy, if nothing else, to be back with each other. Even with the hell that had erupted around them, nothing mattered other than the fact that they had each other. Again.

For now.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yeah…so…about a week ago…my flash drive was stolen. I was _not _a happy person. It's a long story, check profile for full details. Just know that this greatly derailed my updates, because I had all my chapters on there, and of course now they're gone. I'm still very upset. But anyways, I hope that explains the long wait on the update. Will try to get the next one up faster. Review please — Sam


	16. Protecting Them

**Inner Conflict — XVI**

Momo gazed through the small, circular window at the stars that twinkled down on her. There was a slight tinge of pink in the blue-black sky; the sun was going to be coming up soon. She sighed and looked through the bars of her jail cell, across the floor, and through the bars of another jail cell, her eyes landing on Rukia, who was leaning against the wall, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, her chin resting on her knees. She was staring at the floor, her eyes dark, void. Momo shivered, not liking that look.

"Rukia-san?" She didn't respond. "Rukia-san, I know you're upset. But please, _please _don't feel guilty. It's not your fault."

"That's what everyone's always saying." Rukia muttered without looking at Momo. "That's all I heard for fifteen years. _It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong_. If I didn't do anything wrong, why do people feel the need to keep saying it's not my fault?"

"Because you feel the need to keep blaming yourself. And whether you like to hear it or not, you're not strong enough to deal with it by yourself. You need help. You need somebody to keep telling you it's not your fault." Rukia didn't answer. Momo sighed and looked around her tiny cell. They were in the Squad Ten barracks until it was decided what their punishment would be.

And they _would _be punished. Of course they would be. That wasn't what bothered Momo. What bothered her was, as she watched her friend, the realization the Rukia would gladly accept whatever punishment was given to her. Whatever helped her escape her feelings. That scared Momo more than anything else.

"So what do you think they're going to do to us?" Momo asked finally, mostly to fill the silence. Rukia shrugged.

"I don't know. At this point, I don't care. I don't care what happens to me anymore." Momo scowled a bit. _That _had been apparent when they'd come back. Yamamoto had, of course, demanded an explanation. Rukia, in an attempt to keep Momo out of trouble, had told him the entire thing had been her fault. She'd stayed close to the original story, saying that Aizen had blackmailed them — though refusing to say what he'd used against them — but then she'd veered off, saying she'd forced Momo to go along with what Aizen wanted them to do, even though Momo had been skeptical. Momo had, of course, tried to argue with Rukia, but she'd been silenced. Finally it was decided they would both be locked up until a decision was made.

"You'll be lucky if you don't get into some serious trouble, Rukia-san. Confessing to being a traitor is one thing — and I know you planned on doing that from the very beginning. But telling them you _forced _me to go along? What were you thinking?"

"The way I see it, we're screwed no matter how we look at. But I thought about it, and I realized it was stupid for _both _of us to go down. You might as well still have a chance."

"What in your warped mind makes you think _I _deserve that chance any more than you do?" Momo demanded. A sad smile played on Rukia's lips.

"You still have a lot to live for." Momo narrowed her eyes at Rukia.

"And what, you just want to give up? After everything that's happened, you're ready to call it quits?" Rukia shrugged.

"I don't know anymore Momo-san. But I know this; I've sat on death row before. I'm good at resigning myself and giving up. Can you say the same thing?" Momo bit her lip. She wasn't sure how to answer that question. "Exactly. You still have hope. You still have a chance."

"You make it sound like they've already sentenced us."

"Treason, Momo-san. We're traitors. There's only one path for traitors, you know that." She did. But she didn't want to give up yet. And she didn't want Rukia to give up yet either.

"Are you saying that because you know it's true or because you _want _to die?" Rukia averted her eyes, refusing to answer. Momo sighed. "Damn it Rukia-san. Do you even hear yourself sometimes? You're so quick to give up and resign yourself to the worst fate, and I hate it, because you never seem to realize what you're giving up. Like right now. Imagine what Kurosaki-kun would say—"

"Momo-san maybe you haven't noticed," Rukia cut Momo off, "but Ichigo isn't exactly _around _right now, and he probably _won't _be around ever again. And that's _my fault_. It's my fault he's gone."

"He's _not _gone." Momo argued. "He's just…lost. And who do you think he needs to find him, Rukia-san? He's buried in some terrible darkness. Who do you think he's waiting for to dig him out? You. He needs you just as much as you need him, Rukia-san. If you give up than he really _will _be gone forever. He's waiting for you, Rukia-san. Just like he always has. He waited for fifteen years, remember? He waited for you to save him. He _needed _you to save him. Orihime-san and Ishida-kun and his family…none of them could do for him what you did. He recovered _because of you_. If you give up now, you're just condemning him to a fate worse than death — you're trapping him in his head, making him powerless. Because he's going to wait for you, and you're not going to be there to help him."

Rukia was quiet for a moment, turning Momo's words over in her mind. Even if she _could _believe that she had the power to save Ichigo, it didn't change the fact that she'd never have the chance. Because whether Momo wanted to hear it or not, all traitors _would _die. It was the way — the law — of Soul Society.

* * *

"You can't just put them to death!" Toushirou was arguing vehemently with Yamamoto, who regarded the white-haired captain with a solemn look.

"_Them_, Captain Hitsugaya — or _her_?" Toushirou flinched.

"I don't want Kuchiki dead either." He defended himself quickly. "Especially when you stop to consider the fact that neither of them did anything wrong—"

"Does the word _betrayal _mean nothing to you?" Soi Fong asked, glaring Toushirou down. He glared right back.

"Depends. Does the word _blackmail _mean nothing to _you_?"

"It's not our problem if they give in that easily to petty little threats—"

"There is _nothing _petty about _any _threat that comes out of Aizen's mouth." Toushirou snapped. "If he says it, I guarantee he _will _follow through on it. You know that perfectly well Soi Fong. I'd have probably done what he told me too, if he ever threatened me."

Maybe that wasn't true. Toushirou didn't know anymore. He didn't care either though. "We don't even know what he was threatening them with." Komamura interrupted the argument. "For all we know, that's just a story. Neither of them seemed eager to tell us what he used to blackmailed them."

"I don't think they're lying." Kyoraku said thoughtfully. "I don't think they were in any position to lie about anything — what would there be to gain? They both know they're finished. Why try to rationalize it?"

"Why not tell us the whole truth then?" Kyoraku shrugged.

"Maybe it's something private. Hinamori and Kuchiki _do _have personal lives, you know. Maybe it's just not something they felt like divulging." Toushirou looked at his feet, biting his lip.

"Now seems like an odd time to worry about being embarrassed."

"I didn't say they'd be embarrassed. I was thinking more along the lines of making a certain someone feel guilty." Kyoraku's eyes rested briefly on Toushirou. "Face it. How would _you _feel if you knew that someone you cared about was forced to work for the enemy under the threat that you would be killed if the person didn't cooperate?"

"Enough." Yamamoto said finally, drawing a close to all conversations. "The question, now, isn't whether or not they _should _be punished — but _how _should they be punished."

Nobody responded to that. Toushirou scowled at the ground. He'd known from the start he was going to lose this argument. What he hadn't expected was to have people on his side. And from the looks he saw on the faces of Kyoraku, Ukitake, Abarai, Kira, even Unohana — which really surprised him — he saw that he _did_, in fact, have people who agreed with him.

Of course, there was Kurotshuchi and Zaraki, who just didn't give a damn. Then there were the law mongrels — Soi Fong, Byakuya, and Komamura, who would put anyone who threatened Soul Society law to death. Byakuya sort of pissed Toushirou off. He should have known better, but really, it was the nobleman's _sister_…didn't he have a heart?

It didn't matter now, he supposed. He'd known his fight was a lost cause. But it had been worth a try. "We'll adjourn, for now. Go back to your divisions and inform them of the new developments. We'll need someone to cover the fifth division—"

"I've got that." Toushirou muttered. Why not, he thought idly. That poor fifth division. They just weren't having any luck with their captains and lieutenant. Maybe Aizen had cursed the place before he left. Toushirou wouldn't be surprised if that turned out to be the case.

"If you think about it logically," Toushirou heard Kyoraku say to Ukitake, "it wouldn't be smart to punish Hinamori or Kuchiki, not right away. Face it, we're already missing a bunch of lieutenants, why put ourselves out even _more_? Better to keep them at least until the war is over so we have people to fight."

"You believe them, then?" Ukitake asked. "About being blackmailed, I mean?"

"Like I said before, they have nothing to gain or lose but telling us that. Why bother with it? I think it was the truth." Ukitake nodded slowly. "The question now is whether or not Yama-jii understands how badly he'd be crippling us by punishing them. You heard Captain Hitsugaya — Kuchiki's achieved _Bankai_. Imagine having another Bankai-capable fighter on our side?"

Kyoraku's words made sense; in theory. But would Yamamoto listen?

Toushirou already knew the answer to that question. No. Of course he wouldn't listen.

* * *

"So they're just going to leave us hanging then?" Rukia thought for a minute about what she'd said. "Wow, that sounded bad."

A tired smile tugged at Toushirou's lips. "Unfortunately, yes. He's leaving you hanging — and you're right, that _does _sound bad."

Matsumoto, who was leaning against the wall next to Rukia's cell, rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "I'm sure once Yamamoto's had time to think, he'll realize how stupid it would be to punish the two of you — at least right away."

Toushirou looked sadly at Momo, who was sitting in the corner of her cell, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, fast asleep. Her head was resting against the wall. She was obviously exhausted, if she could sleep like that. But that was okay. Because Toushirou had a few questions for Rukia.

"Why did you lie?"

The raven-haired Shinigami regarded Toushirou wearily. "What do you mean?" She asked after a minute, though she knew full-well what he was talking about.

"When Yamamoto asked for an explanation. You lied to him, I could see it in your eyes. You told him you forced Hinamori to go along with Aizen — we _all _know that's a lie right there. As if Hinamori would need to be forced to do anything Aizen told her." Toushirou thought briefly about the fight in the living world. "Well, now might be a different story. But you know what I mean. So why did you lie?"

Rukia didn't answer right away. "Why not." She said finally. "Fifth Squad's just lost what, it's _second _captain since Aizen? Why make them lose their lieutenant too?"

"That is, without a doubt, the weakest excuse I've ever heard."

Rukia didn't respond. Toushirou sighed. "You feel guilty about Kurosaki. I know that. Is it really worth throwing your life away though?" She pressed her lips tightly together. Toushirou made a noise of aggravation in the back of his throat. "Fine, be stubborn. But you must be out of your mind if you think Hinamori will let you take all the punishment." He turned away, keeping his voice low as he said his next words. "And Kurosaki would be throwing a fit right now if he knew what was going on. So until he comes back…I'm protecting you too. For him."

He walked away without another word. Matsumoto stared after her captain, wide-eyed and shocked. Rukia was a bit surprised too. "If I didn't know any better," Matsumoto said slowly, "I'd say he actually considers Kurosaki-kun a _friend_."

She smiled. "Then again, maybe he does. I don't know. Captain Hitsugaya can be so hot and cold sometimes." She sighed before pushing herself off the wall and following her captain. Rukia sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling. She closed her eyes, and of course, she saw Ichigo.

_"He's just…lost. And who do you think he needs to find him, Rukia-san? He's buried in some terrible darkness. Who do you think he's waiting for to dig him out? You. He needs you just as much as you need him, Rukia-san…If you give up now, you're just condemning him to a fate worse than death — you're trapping him in his head, making him powerless. Because he's going to wait for you, and you're not going to be there to help him."_

Rukia sighed, not bothering to open her eyes. How was she supposed to save Ichigo when she couldn't even save herself?

* * *

**Author's Note: **Back to the mental part of the story. Mental torture is so much better than physical fighting. I'm better at writing it anyways. I hope. Review, please? — Sam


	17. Readjusting

**Inner Conflict — XVII**

Rukia and Hinamori exchanged wide-eyed stares. "Sorry. Could you just, um…repeat that? One more time?"

Matsumoto laughed at the stunned looks on her friends' faces. "Your reactions are even better than I expected."

Toushirou just rolled his eyes. "You _really _want me to repeat it?" They nodded, their heads moving in sync with each other's. "Fine. You both get probation. You'll be under strict, twenty-four hour watch for…I don't know how long, actually. I guess until the old man decides you're really not going to turn traitor on us again."

Rukia and Hinamori continued to gape. "I think they were expecting a death sentence." Matsumoto mock-whispered to her captain. Toushirou sighed.

"Yeah, who wasn't? But enough people stepped up to defend the two of you. I didn't know it was possible to convince Yamamoto, but I guess Hell has recently frozen over or something…" The white-haired captain shrugged. "You two aren't complaining, are you?"

"No!" Hinamori said quickly. Rukia was slower to answer.

"No." She said finally, her voice low, thoughtful. Toushirou turned on her at once.

"Don't even think about any suicide trips to Hueco Mundo. I wasn't kidding when I said you'll be watched every second of the day." Rukia sighed.

"Fine."

Hinamori cocked her head at her friend. At once time she'd been good at being able to tell what was going on in the raven-haired Shinigami's head. But now…it was as much as a mystery to her as it was everyone else.

* * *

Rukia was incredibly aware of the Stealth Squad member that had followed her from her house to the thirteenth division. _Isn't the point of being _Stealth_ Squad to be _not _noticed by the person they're following? _She wondered snippily as she entered the division grounds. Then again, maybe she was being paranoid. Not that she doubted somebody was following her, of course. It was quite clear that compromise was the only thing saving her's and Momo's lives. They were saved in return for being watched twenty-four hours a day. It just made her feel…uncomfortable. As if the slightest slip-up could send her back to death row.

Then again…it could.

"Vice-Captain Kuchiki!" Everybody seemed strangely happy to see her, as if the fact that she had turned traitor on them didn't mean anything. Or maybe they didn't know. That seemed like the kind of thing Ukitake would keep from his division members. He'd never told anyone the circumstances surrounding Kaien's death either…

"Hey Rukia-san!" Sentarou caught up to her halfway to her office. "I was just wondering, did you um…I mean, did you…when you were in Hueco Mundo, did you find—?"

"Kiyone's okay, Sentarou. Or as okay as she _can _be, at any rate. She's alive. She misses you." Sentarou grinned smugly.

"Of course she does, she can't live without me."

Rukia had to smile. Kiyone and Sentarou were definitely a once-in-a-lifetime couple. "Anyways, Rukia-san…it's good to have you back."

Sentarou bowed before Shunpo-ing away. Rukia was surprised. Not that Sentarou wasn't always respectful, but _that_ vice-captain-officer relationship had always been strictly informal. Saluting, yes. Bowing, no. It was strange.

Momo was glad to escape into her office. The few remaining Shinigami from Aizen's days as captain had been eying her suspiciously, as if to say, _we always knew she would turn on us_.

The first thing Momo noticed was that all the paperwork was sitting in a neat pile in the 'out' box on her desk. She walked over and picked up the first thing on the pile. It had Toushirou's signature. She sighed. Of course. He'd done all their paperwork _last time _as well.

_Honestly, he acts like it's his responsibility_…

Shaking her head, she sat her desk, staring out the division window. Everybody was wearing a similarly morose look; no one was happy about losing their _second _captain since Aizen.

Not lost. Momo shook her head firmly. Never lost. Ichigo was still very much alive and could still be saved. They would _not _lose another captain. Momo refused to let it happen.

Among the morose looks were looks of suspicion, eyes flickering towards her office window. Momo sighed. She'd expected this. It had been the same before too, when she'd come back after Aizen tried to kill her. No one had thought she was stable enough to continue being a lieutenant. And back then, they'd been right. But Momo was sure, now, that she would have no problem fighting in the future. No matter who she came up against.

Of course, she could say that now, now that she was sitting in her office thinking about it. When it actually came time to fight…

_I wish I could talk to Shirou-chan_, Momo sighed inwardly. She was forbidden to leave her division until sundown though, unless a vice-captain's meeting was called or something else happened. Just another part of what she liked to call her's and Rukia's 'free arrest.' They weren't behind bars, but they might as well have been. They went from their homes to their divisions and back again. Momo supposed she might be able to get away with a quick side-trip to the tenth division, but she wasn't going to take a chance.

_Knowing him he'll come here before the end of the day…_

Rukia looked at the pile of papers on her desk. Each and every one of them had Sentarou's or Ukitake's signatures. They hadn't left her with even one piece of paperwork. There went her only escape. She'd been hoping to have paperwork to distract her, at least from a little while, from the thoughts that were currently plaguing her, the most pressing being those of a certain orange-haired Shinigami.

The pain that attacked Rukia was even stronger than she would have expected. Every time she so much as thought Ichigo's name she felt as if someone were shoving a sharp razor into her chest and twisting it around. Everytime she tried to imagine him, all she could see was the hollow — that damn hollow with his stupid, twisted, evil smirk. When she tried to imagine Ichigo's voice, all she heard was the hollow's sick, twisted tone:_"Spend fifteen years out of your mind, you tend to get weak. Really, I have you to thank for that,"_ and an older memory, but one that struck Rukia just as hard: _It's your fault, this all your fault! Blood, everywhere, blood spilled, all for you, it's your fault!_

Rukia shivered, dropping her head into her hands. _Pull it together Rukia_, Shirayuki's voice reverberated through her head.

_Easier said than done,_ Rukia shot back, not caring that Shirayuki wouldn't like the back-talk, and that she would probably make her bearer suffer later. _You don't have to live with this._

_I live with what you live_, Shirayuki reminded Rukia. _You just don't know how to handle it. You were never good at handling guilt, though, you did everything you could to avoid it. But now here you are, and you can't run away anymore. You don't like it very much, do you?_

_You're not helping._

_I'm not trying to. I'm just telling it like it is, Rukia. You don't like guilt. You do everything you can to avoid it. When it was being forced to kill Kaien you turned your back on everything and shut out your emotions. When it was giving your powers to Ichigo and nearly getting him killed you allowed yourself to be captured and almost executed. After the war you came back to Soul Society to avoid dealing with the repercussions of the decisions you made regarding Ichigo. But now there's nowhere left to run to. And you don't like that, do you?_

Rukia didn't answer. She wasn't about to admit that Shirayuki was _right_. She'd never live it down. _It's time to stop running away Rukia. I know what you've been planning. You're ready to throw your entire life away on a suicide mission, just like Captain Hitsugaya said. You were counting on Soul Society to put you on death row again so you could look the other way, but that back-fired on you. Now you want to try and find a way into Hueco Mundo so you can go after Ichigo. Another escape. But you're not taking it._

_It's not an escape, it's me trying to set all my mistakes straight. I'm just trying to take responsibility for what I've done, what's so bad about that?_

_Because you haven't _done _anything!_ Shirayuki snapped, sounding angry. _You want to make up for something you haven't done, and all it's going to do is get you killed! Momo-san is right and you know it, you're the only one that can save Ichigo right now, don't throw your life away and leave him stranded, do things _right_ this time Rukia!_

Rukia stared at her desk, Shirayuki's words ringing in her head. _Do things right_, she repeated finally, _I can handle that._

_You can't if you get yourself killed._

_There's a very simple answer to that_, she looked out her window, at the grounds below. _Don't get killed_.

Shirayuki was silent for a minute. _That's more like it,_ she said finally, her voice approving.

* * *

Momo looked up as a shadow fell over her desk, her eyes drifting to the window, and saw Toushirou sitting on the window-sill. "Shirou-chan."

He jerked his thumb at the Shinigami teeming around on the grounds below them. "Any of these jokers give you a hard time today?"

Momo giggled. "Don't worry you don't have to jump in and defend my honor. I expected the reactions I got. It's okay."

"You sure?" Toushirou's voice sounded slightly threatening. No doubt he'd have just _loved _to go down and rough up someone.

"_Yes_, Shirou-chan. Like I said, I expected it."

"Doesn't make it okay." Toushirou grumbled as he slid off the window sill, walking over to Momo. He stared at the ground as he said his next words. "I don't want any of them to bother you."

"It doesn't matter." Toushirou peaked at Momo out of the corner of his eye. She'd been…_different_ since she'd come back. Her face no longer held the traces of weariness, her eyes were no longer dark and bothered, as if she were waiting for something bad to happen. Toushirou wondered if it was because she'd finally taken a stand; she'd stood up to her former captain, finally acknowledged that he was really and truly the enemy, that he _needed_ to die — and hell, she'd even attacked him!

"It does to me. None of them know what they're talking about." He leaned against her desk, crossing his arms.

"And that's exactly why it doesn't matter." Toushirou rolled his eyes.

"If you say so." He bit his tongue for a moment. "Are you…okay?" He asked finally. He just had to be sure…

Momo shrugged. "Right now I am. Even with everyone muttering and tip-toeing around me, I'm happy to be back. I didn't like being a…a traitor." Toushirou bristled at the word. "And I didn't like…" Momo blushed, staring at the floor as she continued, "I didn't like being away from you." She muttered finally. Toushirou felt his cheeks warm a bit.

_Aw, why'd she have to go and say that?_ He groaned silently. "That's good, because I didn't like having you away from me." Crap, his mouth had just developed a mind of his own. Momo looked up, her eyes hopeful.

"You didn't?" Toushirou almost smiled, reaching out and tucking a lock of loose brown hair behind Momo's ear. He let his hand linger on her cheek for a moment before pulling away.

"Of course not. I can't protect you if you're not around, can I?"

Momo's blush deepened. Toushirou bit his lip to keep from smiling. "Shirou-chan, I…" She shook her head slowly. "I'm glad you don't hate me." She muttered finally, looking back at the floor.

"I could never hate you Momo. Trust me." He saw a smile pull at her lips.

"You called me Momo." She shifted her eyes to gaze at him, her cheeks still a brilliant shade of red. "You've never called me that before."

Toushirou chuckled humorlessly. Of all the things she could have noticed, she _had_ to note that he had changed what he called her. "If you want me to go back to 'Hinamori'—"

"No." She said quickly. "I like…I like 'Momo' better, actually. I like hearing you call me Momo. I…" Her voice trailed off, the words lost. "There's a lot to say." She said finally, her eyes shifting back to the floor. Toushirou reached out, tucking a hand under her chin and carefully coaxing her head up, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"Don't worry, you don't need to say it all right away. We have all the time in the world."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I had this joke about Shirayuki being a motivational speaker…another time though. So who thinks a fight between the hollow and Rukia sounds like a good idea? No one. Too bad, that's what I'm doing next chapter. And trust me, it'll be just as much mental as it will be physical. Review, please! — Sam


	18. The Bond Between Them

**Inner Conflict — XVIII**

The hollow was restless. Aizen watched him stomp back and forth, swinging his Zanpakatou restlessly. Every now and then he'd hit one of the Arrancar lining the walls, obliterating it. Aizen had to admit, it was amusing.

"You want to fight, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" The hollow snapped, turning to face Aizen. "Your pathetic little foot soldiers aren't doing a damn thing to keep me amused. I want someone who _knows_ how to fight. I want a challenge, if that exists."

Aizen smiled. He knew, of course, that the hollow wasn't _really_ an ally — the monster would turn on Aizen the second he was sure the man couldn't give him the opponents he desired. But Aizen didn't have any intentions of keeping the hollow around long enough for a betrayal.

"Would Shinigami satisfy you?" The yellow eyes behind the mask lit up — in a manner of speaking. The hollow liked that idea.

"What have you got in mind?" Because he had something in mind as well. He had a promise to follow up on about seeing a certain, violet-haired Shinigami dead…

* * *

Toushirou's eyes opened slowly. He was half-sitting, half-laying on the couch in the fifth division office. Momo was curled up next to him, her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes closed. Toushirou looked at the clock. It was after midnight.

_Poor Stealth Squad member must be bored out of his skull_, Toushirou thought idly as he shifted, trying not to wake Momo. They'd been talking, though not about anything in particular. Just talking. It had bee nice, the mindless chatter. Almost normal. Toushirou sighed. Normal. As if something like that _existed_.

Alarms rented the formerly quiet night air, scaring the hell out Toushirou. He jumped, and at the same time Momo jerked awake, looking disoriented.

"What—"

"Stay here." Was all Toushirou said before he jumped up and flew out of the room. Momo stared after him, her mind finally registering the alarms.

_An attack? But what…_

"Matsumoto!"

Toushirou found his vice-captain already locked in combat with a group of Arrancar. "Captain! Where have you—"

"Never-mind." Toushirou took out the last of the Arrancar before turning to face Matsumoto. "Any indication of what they might be after?"

Matsumoto shook her head. "It seems like all the others. Just a random attack — no reason behind it. Do you feel that reiatsu tough? It's…"

Toushirou nodded grimly. He'd recognized it as soon as it had hit him. "Kurosaki."

The hollow cackled as he cut down a Shinigami, and then another, and then another… they weren't very strong. But he enjoyed watching their blood spill.

And then he stumbled into one that was by himself, finishing off an Arrancar. The hollow recognized this one — through Ichigo's memories, at any rate. It was one of those crazies from the thirteenth division — Sentarou. _I'll be _he_ knows where I can find her_, the hollow thought, delighted, as Sentarou turned to face him, his eyes wide. "Hey there." The hollow slung Zangetsu over his shoulder, grinning a sadistic grin under his mask. "Don't suppose you know where your pretty little vice-captain is, do you?"

"Sentarou!"

Speak of the devil. The hollow turned to look at the new-comer. Rukia was standing just a few feet away from them, her Zanpakatou already drawn. "Get out of here." She snapped at her subordinate.

"Rukia-san, you're not supposed to—"

"Stand _down_!" Her voice came out a bit harsher. Sentarou jumped back. "Go find Captain Ukitake. Or anyone else, really. Just get out of here."

He hesitated before obeying orders, Shunpo-ing away. Rukia turned to glare at the hollow, taking in the disgusting sight. He had already activated Bankai; the black robes Rukia had once thought of as a symbol of safety now mocked her as they were worn by the enemy. The face — Ichigo's face, her anchor — was covered the mask, that sickening hollow mask. When he spoke, it made Rukia wince; it sounded like nails on a chalk board.

"Well, well, save me the trouble of hunting you down." He laughed his distorted laugh. Rukia shuddered.

"What do you want from _me_? If Aizen thinks I'm going back to him _now_—"

"As if that old fool has anything to do with it." The hollow waved Rukia off, holding out Zangetsu. "No, this is a personal thing. You see, Ichigo thought about you so much, it drove me insane. And I started wondering what it'd be like to kill you, and…"

His voice drifted off. He sounded so casual. It made Rukia sick. "But enough of this." She could tell the hollow was grinning when he spoke. "Let's just put and end to this already."

He sprang forward to attack.

Momo had never been good at listening to what anybody told her, captain or friend or both. And it was no different with Toushirou. She wasn't about to hide in her division when there were other people fighting, getting hurt, dying. She sprang through the streets, Tobiume by her side, slicing through any Arrancar that came at her. They fit the M.O. of the attacks that had preceded this one; foot soldiers, not overly strong, but heavy in numbers. What, she wondered idly as she ran, was Aizen trying to accomplish by sending such weak fighters? What was the point? This was what, the second, third attack in the last few months? And none of the others had succeeded. What was Aizen planning?

It was all very confusing. And Momo couldn't really afford to get lost in thought trying to figure it out when she was surrounded by chaos. She _would_ decipher the method behind the madness. It was, she decided as she put her Zanpakatou through yet another Arrancar, the least she could do. But for now, she put it out of her mind in favor of fighting, silently promising to go back to it later.

Toushirou growled under his breath as he released his Zanpakatou, taking out several Arrancar at once. "Damn it Momo, I told you to stay put." He grumbled as he tried to re-locate her spiritual pressure — because of course, it wasn't at the fifth division where it belonged.

_Like you really thought she'd listen_, a voice in the back of his head reminded him. _She won't stand by when other people are getting hurt. You know that_.

He did. And it was, he realized in that moment, just one of the many things he loved about her.

"_Bankai_!" The hollow grew elated as he watched Rukia release her Bankai. This was turning out to be an even better fight than he had originally planned. She was amazingly strong, this girl who had dominated Ichigo's thoughts for so long. Her size definitely betrayed her; it was amazing to think how much power was stored in that small body.

The hollow wanted to find out.

Rukia gripped Shirayuki's hilt tightly, raising the sword above her head and swinging it down. The hollow barely dodged the stream of ice that flew at him, taking to the air and swinging Zangetsu. "_Getsuga Tenshou_!"

Rukia missed the blow by about half an inch. If she'd been just a little slower…

She took off into the air after the hollow, and their Zanpakatous — so similar to each other it was almost scary — met with a loud_ clang _that reverberated through the air, getting lost in the sound of the madness that surrounded them. "Strong little thing, arencha?" The hollow chuckled.

Rukia didn't answer. The hollow threw all his weight into his sword, shoving Rukia back. She regained her balance quickly, straightening up, gripping Shirayuki's hilt tightly. She'd already accepted that she couldn't win this fight. The hollow was stronger. The hollow wouldn't hold back.

Rukia didn't care.

Her fingers tightened even more around the hilt of her Zanpakatou, her body reacting her to her ignoring the basic instinct saying _run away_.

"Stubborn." The hollow sounded strangely approving. "Im beginning to see what Ichigo likes so much about you. You know you're going to die, but you won't run. You still want to fight. Makes things interesting."

He disappeared, surprising Rukia. She barely had a chance to find his spiritual pressure, and then he was behind her. She whirled around, blocking the blow, and he shunpo-ed away again, this time coming in from the side. Again, she barely blocked it, and again, he disappeared. He was too fast. She couldn't follow him forever…

He waited five seconds before attacking. It was the only thing Rukia had to work with. He disappeared again, and Rukia rushed to find him. Above her! She swung Shirayuki up just before he appeared again, Zangetsu raised…

He was gone before their swords connected. Rukia jerked, surprised, and he came in behind her. She whirled around…

And blood stained the night air.

The hollow's aim was better than Rukia's. Zangetsu was buried dead center in the middle of Rukia's chest. She, meanwhile, had, in her panic, missed her mark, succeeding only in spearing the hollow's shoulder. He laughed his sick, twisted laugh.

"Pathetic."

Despair momentarily won out over the pain coursing through Rukia's chest. She should have known better. She should have known she would have failed…

"Ichigo…"

The hollow laughed again, raising one hand up. "He's gone, you fool, he's gone! He's not coming back! This is _my_ body now!"

He grabbed Shirayuki's blade, obviously intent on pulling it out. But the second his fingers made contact with it, something strange happened. His entire body jerked, as if he had been electrocuted, his eyes widening.

"What the hell—"

In one, swift movement he jerked Shirayuki out of his shoulder, yanking Zangetsu back at the same time. Rukia barely noticed as her legs gave out beneath her, and she hit the ground.

_What just…happened_…

_The hollow and Ichigo may share a body, but they are two separate entities_, Rukia was surprised to hear how calm Shirayuki sounded. This was usually about the time when she started yelling…

_What does _that_ have to do with anything?_

_Everything. Ichigo is a pure person, he has a good heart. The hollow is selfish, power hungry. He pushes Ichigo back, ties him down in a corner of his mind. But even he can not destroy what you and Ichigo have. The love you both feel is inescapable. The hollow can't stand it_.

_So what_, love _is the answer?_ Rukia wanted to roll her eyes.

_Close. The bond between you is the answer. Don't scoff, Rukia. You share something with Ichigo unlike anything anyone has ever seen. Your destinies are so tightly tied together they are almost one. As I told you before, you two were always destined to meet. Fate didn't count on the two of you falling in love though. That just strengthens the tie. And it makes the hollow, who is incapable of understanding emotions like love, unable to touch you, as driven as you are by what you feel to save Ichigo_.

Leave it to Shirayuki to explain everything and yet say absolutely nothing.

_I don't understand_.

But Shirayuki was silent. As usual, speaking with her did not take as long as it seemed. Only a few seconds had passed. The hollow had already recovered. "Don't know what you did to me just now," he said easily, "but I guess it doesn't matter. Whatever it was, you're in no condition to try and do it again."

He practically _swaggered_ over to Rukia, raising Zangetsu. Rukia thought fast. _What would happen if I grabbed his mask?_

Shirayuki didn't answer. Rukia took that as an invitation to try. Ignoring the pain that coursed through her, she flew up, one hand shooting out, grabbing the edge of the mask.

The hollow's response was instant. He shrieked in pain, trying to jerk back. Rukia tightened her grip, refusing to let go. "Let go, let go!" The hollow screamed, thrashing. Rukia's Zanpakatou slipped from her grip as she reached her other hand out, grabbing the mask firmly. "Let _go_, damn it!"

He swung Zangetsu again and again, leaving long, deep gashes anywhere he managed to hit Rukia — her arms, her chest, her legs, wherever he could make contact. And still she didn't let go. "_Damn you!_" Something connected with the side of Rukia's head. The force of the impact was enough to throw her away, and she hit the ground hard, the pain finally catching up. She pushed herself up onto her knees, coughing. Blood slipped past her lips, hitting the ground with a sickening splattering sound.

_What'd she _do_ to me damn it?!_ The hollow raged furiously, his hands gripping his face. It felt as if she'd driven daggers into him. _I'll kill her, I'll kill her!_

_Nnnngh…_

The low groan shocked the hollow enough to cut through his ranting. _Wha…what the_… Ichigo's voice was confused, weary, disoriented.

_Get back!_ The hollow screamed at him. Slowly, Ichigo crawled out of his corner. Already the hollow could feel him trying to take over. _No! This is my body now, it's mine!_

_Wrong_. The hollow felt his hand move. He wasn't moving it. _It's _mine_, damn it. You just share_.

The hand grabbed the mask. _Mine_, Ichigo said again, pulling at the mask.

_No!_ The hollow shouted in response, pushing Ichigo back. The hand on the mask shook for a moment, then Ichigo's control was as strong as ever.

_**Mine**_**.**

The mask shattered in Ichigo's hand. A silent scream echoed in his head as he shoved the hollow back into the corner where belonged. He fell to his knees, exhausted.

_You_, he said matter-of-factly to the hollow, _are a guest in _my_ body. Don't forget it_.

Rukia ignored the haze that filled her mind, ignored the fact that the edges of the world were darkening. All she cared about was Ichigo. Ichigo, his face drawn and weary and _there_, no longer by a mask. Ichigo, his eyes the deep, sharp amber she loved. He was Ichigo again. He was back.

Rukia didn't fight against the blackness that overtook her vision. She was done. She'd accomplished what she'd had to do.

"Rukia!" A pair of large arms grabbed her, keeping her from pitching forward. "Look at you." Ichigo moaned, cradling her gently. "You're a mess. What the hell were you doing? Idiot."

"Shut up." Rukia muttered, one hand unconsciously gripping Ichigo's robes. She couldn't bring herself to be offended though. There were too many other conflicting emotions. Elation. Weariness. Pain.

"Let's get you to the fourth division." Ichigo stood, careful not to jostle Rukia too much.

"Ichigo?" Her voice, barely a whisper, was pain-filled and tired. Ichigo was willing to bet that she didn't even realize she was speaking.

"Yeah?"

"Don't leave me." His heart skipped a beat.

"I won't." He promised. She didn't answer. "Rukia?" Nothing. She'd gone under at last. So Ichigo did something that surely would have gotten him killed, were she conscious; he pressed his lips lightly against her forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Aawww…/ahem/ Anyways. Going to Germany for twelve days. Very much so looking forward to it. Will update when I get back. Review please? — Sam


	19. Stuck on the Sideline

**Inner Conflict — XIV**

Momo's head snapped up, her eyes widening. "Shirou-chan, you feel that?"

Toushirou finished off the last of the Arrancar he had been battling. He knew what Momo was referring to. "She did it."

Momo grinned. Ichigo's spiritual pressure was back to normal. "I knew she could…"

Momo's voice trailed off, her eyes widening. Toushirou turned to look at her. "Momo? Something wrong?"

She didn't answer. Toushirou made a face, stretching his senses out at as far as they could go. He didn't feel anything out of the ordinary though. Most of the foot soldiers had been cleaned up, and those that _had_ survived were too injured to do anything. They'd be carted off to the twelfth division eventually.

"All right Momo, I give up. You obviously sense something I don't. What's wrong?" Momo didn't answer right away.

"It's…thinner."

Toushirou groaned. "Speak a language I understand, Momo, not riddles."

"The reiatsu in the air. It's thinner, Shirou-chan." She sounded strangely impatient. "Don't you feel it?"

Toushirou closed his eyes, trying to feel what Momo obviously felt. It took him a minute. "You're right." He muttered finally.

"Maybe…" Momo said slowly her voice tentative, "maybe that's Aizen's plan? All of our defenses depend on a strong amount of reiatsu, after all…"

"And constant attacks from large amount of Arrancar, no matter how weak, is going to break down the reiatsu that's in the air." Toushirou finished Momo's sentence, realizing what she had already figured out. "Aizen's trying to break down our defenses. That must be what he's doing in Karakura Town as well. The weaker he makes the places—"

"The easier they'll be to take."

Toushirou shook his head. "We'd better tell this to Yamamoto." Without thinking, he reached out and took Momo's hand. "Let's go."

* * *

"Well, well, look at you…the epitome of pitiful."

Ichigo, who was leaning against the wall, his arms tucked behind his back, shifted his eyes to glare at Renji, who was standing in front of him, smirking. "Get the hell out of my face." Ichigo growled, not in the mood to deal with his red-haired friend.

"Or what? Gonna go hollow on me?"

"I _mean_ it Renji—"

"Calm down, calm down." Renji said quickly, realizing that Ichigo was completely serious. "I'm kidding."

"Do I _look_ like I'm laughing?"

"All right. Backing off. So what are you doing here, anyway? You don't look to beat up." Ichigo snorted.

"Yeah, want to know why? I — the _hollow_—" he corrected himself instantly, "was fighting _Rukia_." Renji pressed his lips together tightly.

"Wild guess — she's why you're here." Ichigo nodded silently. Renji sighed. "She deserves a trophy for being the world's biggest _moron_. Let me guess — she went _looking _for the fight."

"I don't know." Ichigo admitted. "I don't…remember. And you know what, I think I'm _glad_ I don't remember. She was beat up pretty bad when I finally…I don't know, _came to_, I guess you could say. I kind of wish I _did_ know what happened. Not knowing leaves a lot to imagination — and none of it's good."

Renji didn't answer. Ichigo looked up at the ceiling of the fourth division building, scowling. "I'm such an _idiot_." He said finally, hitting his head a couple of times against the wall. "I can't believe I let him take over…what was I _doing_? How could I be so weak? And now Rukia's…"

His voice trailed off. "You're right." Renji said after a minute. "It's all your fault. You are, without a doubt, the world's biggest moron. You're an insult to Shinigami everywhere. You don't deserve the title captain. You're pathetic."

With each word he spoke, Ichigo's temper rose. Renji was forced to duck as the orange-haired man took a swing at him. "Who the hell asked you?!"

"Oh give me a break!" Renji snapped. "I spent fifteen years trying to tell Rukia what happened to you _wasn't_ her fault and _that_ didn't get me anywhere. So hey, why not just agree with you that what happened to Rukia _is_ your fault? Maybe it'll get me a little further."

Ichigo took a step back. Renji, in his own, stupid, twisted way, _had_ helped. Ichigo smiled weakly. "You're an idiot."

"You're welcome."

Ichigo dragged a hand through his spiky hair, sighing. "Captain Kurosaki?" Ichigo looked around and saw Hanatarou standing behind Renji.

"You know you don't have to call me that Hanatarou."

"Right. Sorry…Anyways, I've finished healing Rukia-san's wounds. They were deep, but not life-threatening. She'll be completely back to normal in a couple of days at the most." Ichigo sighed, allowing relief to spread through his body.

"She'll be all right?"

"She'll be perfectly fine. Would you like to see her? I mean, she's asleep, but…"

Ichigo nodded and followed Hanatarou away. Renji stared after the orange-haired man, shaking his head. As much as he hated to admit — and _God_ did he hate to admit it — Ichigo and Rukia made a perfect couple.

Rukia always looked so peaceful when she slept. It was the first thing Ichigo had noticed about her the first time she'd given way to sleep in front of him. Whatever inner turmoil haunted her during waking hours seemed to disappear when she slumbered. She looked so completely at peace with herself. Ichigo wished she could always look that way.

He sighed and sat down in the chair next to her bed. He'd be there when she woke up. Of course.

He sat in silence, never taking his eyes off of Rukia, never sleeping. He'd nearly killed her, after all. The least he could do was be there and be awake when she woke up.

* * *

"Captain Kurosaki?"

Ichigo craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Hinamori was standing in the door of the room, watching him with careful eyes. "Momo." He was a bit surprised. "What are you doing here? Where's Toushirou?"

He'd figured the white-haired captain would attach himself to Momo and refuse to let go. "He's speaking to Yamamoto about a theory we have." Momo walked into the room, allowing a light smile to cross her lips. The smile faded as she looked down at Rukia, and she shook her head. "Very prone to getting hurt, isn't she?" Ichigo didn't answer. He looked back at Rukia, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. "I'll bet even _she_ can't identify all the scars she has anymore."

"I know that feeling." Ichigo muttered, imagining his chest. It was a road map of scars — there was really no other way to describe it. The scars criss-crossed over each other, making it almost impossible to identify what was poorly healed skin and what was actually his _chest_.

"I'll bet you do." Momo admitted, looking at him. "So are _you_ all right?"

"Not a scratch on me." He muttered, feeling sick to his stomach. How as it fair that _he_ had walked away unscathed?

"I don't doubt that. But that's not what I meant." Ichigo shifted his eyes to look at Momo, confused. "Even if Rukia _could _have hurt you, she wouldn't have had the heart to, not with how guilty she felt. I'm not stupid, I know that. But being okay physically and being okay mentally are two different things." Ichigo scowled. "Don't give me that look, I'm not saying you're going to go crazy again. But that doesn't mean you can't feel _guilty_ — not that you have anything to feel guilty about. I'm just saying…"

"I know what you're saying." Ichigo said as Momo's voice drifted off. "And the answer is that I feel guilty — guilty as _hell_ — looking at her laying there and knowing that — whether it was intentional or not — _I'm_ the reason she's there, the reason she's so messed up. I hate knowing it's my fault. I don't know how Rukia does it, always shouldering the blame and the guilt. It's maddening."

Ichigo bit his tongue then, not wanting to say what was on his mind now. That Rukia always looked so brittle, so close to breaking. But Momo seemed to read his mind.

"That's Rukia-san. She's strange that way. But…when you're around…she seems okay."

Ichigo didn't answer. Momo gave him a small bow before leaving.

* * *

"Really Shirou-chan, you didn't have to walk me home." Momo sighed as they turned down her street. Toushirou was almost better than a guard dog — no, he _was_ better. Infinitely.

"I don't like letting you out of my sight." It was a surprising admission. Well, not surprising as in Momo had expected it — she could have guessed _that_ on her own, after all. No, it was just surprising to hear Toushirou actually say it.

"It's okay." She said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"I know you're not. I just…don't like not knowing where you are. Not being able to see you." The boy's pale skin was reddening slightly, his gaze fixed straight ahead. Momo smiled, enjoying his embarrassment, and patted his spiky white hair.

"Aw Shirou-chan, I knew you cared." He didn't answer. Momo liked how he didn't even protest her use of his much disliked nickname.

"Momo…" He started to say, but his voice drifted off. Embarrassment was clear in his tone. Momo's smile faded, amusement gone. He was struggling to say something. She wouldn't make it harder for him.

"Shirou-chan?"

They stopped in front of her house. Toushirou's breath came out in a huff. "You're not going to like this…" He muttered after a minute. "But…Yamamoto doesn't want you involved in any future fights. Especially if they involve Aizen."

Momo felt as if the ground had given out from beneath her. "What? But why—"

"It's not just you." Toushirou said quickly. "Kuchiki too, but I'm leaving it up to Ukitake to tell _her_. It's just that Yamamoto…he knows when it comes to Aizen, you don't always think clearly. And Kuchiki's too close to Kurosaki, who's too close to be sucked back into Aizen's little ring, if the hollow comes out again. He can't pull Kurosaki out of the fight though, he's one of — screw _one of_, he's _the_ strongest captain we have. You and Kuchiki though…"

Toushirou's voice drifted off. Momo couldn't stop the anger that spread through her body. She'd known she and Rukia wouldn't get off scot-free, of course, but pulling them off the battlefield?

"So what are we supposed to do, sit on our hands while our friends and the people we love go out and die?"

The word slipped out by accident. _Love_. Momo heard it the second she was done speaking. Her eyes widened, mortified, and she took a step back, ducking her face as it burned red.

"I have to go." She muttered, turning on her heel and preparing to run for her house. But Toushirou grabbed her hand, holding her back.

"It's Yamamoto's orders, not mine. Don't be mad at me." His voice seemed to be pleading.

"I'm not. Forget it Toushirou." Momo tried to pull her hand back. Toushirou held on tight.

"Don't call me that." He ordered. "It doesn't sound right, coming from you."

"What, you _like_ Shirou-chan?" Momo demanded, wishing he'd let go. She wanted to just go inside and go to her room and bury her face in her pillow, forget this entire day. "You've been telling me for years to stop calling you that."

"And since when do you listen to me?" He challenged. She sighed, excepting defeat, and stopped fighting his hand. They stood silently for a minute. "No one's going to die." Toushirou finally said, his voice low. "I won't _let_ anyone die."

Momo bit her lip. It was selfish, so selfish, to think that she didn't care about _anyone_ as much as she did him. "You can't promise that." She said quietly, her voice thick with tears. "You can't promise…_you_ won't die."

"I can." Toushirou disagreed fiercely. "I _won't_ die, Momo. I'm going to fight, I'm going to make sure that…that _bastard_ is killed, I'm going to see to it that you're freed from his shadow, and that no one can ever doubt you again. And then I'm going to—"

_Too much, too much, too much!_ A voice in the back of Toushirou's head screamed, stopping him cold. _Are you _trying_ to dig yourself a hole deep enough to jump into? Just shut up!_

Momo turned halfway to look at Toushirou, and their eyes met. "I'm going to come back here." He continued finally, his voice low. "I'm going to come right back to you. And I'm going to be with you. Whether you want me or not. I'll be here — right _here_."

Momo felt as if her throat had closed up. It took her a minute to remember how to speak. "I want you." She whispered finally, knowing she wouldn't be able to speak any louder. Toushirou carefully pulled her towards him, until their was almost no space left between them. He leaned in, carefully brushing his lips over hers.

"That's the only answer I would have accepted."

* * *

**Author's Note: **God…damn…too…much…fluff… /goes and buries herself in a hole/ Wait, haven't I already done that? I don't even know…just review, please? — Sam


	20. Promises

**Inner Conflict — XX**

Rukia felt as if she were dragging herself through black water, trying to find her way back to the plain of consciousness. Another force, meanwhile, pushed against her, warning her to _stay_ unconscious, that she'd be happier that way.

But of course, Rukia never did what she was told. She won her struggle to the surface. The first thing she heard as she came to was a low snore.

_Ichigo_, she thought at once, forcing her eyes to open. She wanted to see him again, wanted to know he was really okay…

A bright light slammed her as her eyes opened, and she groaned, squeezing them shut again at once. Day-time. Great. She wondered idly how long she had been out for. Slowly, carefully, she opened her eyes half an inch, letting the light filter through her eyelashes so she could adjust. When she was satisfied, she opened her eyes the rest of the way, shifting them to her left, where the snoring was coming from.

And there was Ichigo, just like she'd known. He was slouched in the chair beside her bed, his head down, his eyes closed. His hands were clenched into loose fists, resting in his lap. Rukia half-smiled as she sat up, rubbing her head. She never took his eyes off of him.

_Shirayuki?_

Her sword's manifestation was there, of course, ready to gripe. _About_ time_ you woke up. I was beginning to think you were just going to sleep the entire day away, not even bother with anything else…_

Rukia waited until she was Shirayuki was done complaining before she spoke. _About what happened…if the hollow ever takes over again, will I be able to…to help Ichigo? To save him?_

Shirayuki didn't speak, and for a moment Rukia panicked. _Calm down_, Shirayuki placated her bearer quickly. _I'm sure you'd be able too, unless you and Ichigo suddenly decide you hate each other. I do wonder, though, what lengths you would go to, if it meant completing what _you_ seem to think is your responsibility._

_It _is_ my responsibility,_ Rukia argued. _It's my fault—_

_And _that_ is what's going to get you killed, Rukia._

She didn't have time to ask what that meant before a low groan drew her attention. Ichigo was waking up. She looked back at him quickly (she'd been staring off into space during her conversation with Shirayuki).

His eyes opened, meeting hers. Rukia resisted the urge to sigh aloud. She'd never realized how much she had depended on seeing those eyes, seeing _that_ particular amber color, never realized how much of an anchor they were for her. They kept her sane.

That was so very wrong. And she had ceased to care.

"About time." Ichigo grumbled, disrupting the moment. Rukia glowered at him.

"Yeah, hi to you too." Rukia said sarcastically. "I'm okay, how are you?"

Ichigo's face softened. "I'm glad to see you're awake." He muttered finally. "So how are you?"

"Never been better." Even a fool could hear the sarcasm in her voice. And Ichigo, no matter what Rukia called him, was no fool.

"All right, I get it, you're in a bad mood." Rukia bit back another sarcastic comment about how she'd almost _died_ last night. That would have only hurt Ichigo. No doubt he was _already_ blaming himself. Rukia wasn't about to add to that guilt.

"I just want to know when I can get out of here." She said finally, her voice faltering as she spoke. Ichigo heard the hesitation in her tone and realized at once what she had avoided saying.

"I'm sor—"

"_Don't_," Rukia said at once, "for the love of God _don't_ say sorry. All right? I'm only going to say this once, so listen well, because I'm not going to repeat myself. It's _not_ your fault. What happened…" She hesitated, not wanting to come out and say it. "Just don't blame yourself, okay?" Then, because she couldn't be sincere for more than a minute, "I'm not in the mood to listen to your self-pity party."

Her final statement had it's desired effect. Ichigo scowled, looking amazingly like his old self. "Oh…shut up. I don't do self-pity."

"And yet you're doing such a good job at it right now."

This was natural. This was something Rukia could do. She could make fun of Ichigo and string him along and shoot off insults like she breathed. _This_ was her comfort zone. Anything else was just…unnatural.

* * *

"We take any more of these attacks and there isn't going to be a Seireitei left." Toushirou muttered as he looked around.

"It'll only take one attack to kill us all — and that's the one Aizen personally sees to." Toushirou looked over his shoulder at his vice-captain, a bit surprised.

"That was surprisingly bitter, Matsumoto."

"Hard to look around and think of anything positive to say." Matsumoto muttered, crossing her arms. Toushirou blinked at her, completely shocked now.

"Don't be a pessimist, Matsumoto. It doesn't suit you."

"Matsumoto, a pessimist?" An astonished voice said from behind them. Toushirou almost smiled. Not just a voice. He'd know that voice anywhere. He turned to face Momo, who was regarding them with a smile.

"Can we help you?"

"Just dropping in." Momo looked around, her eyes wide and curious. "Your division looks better than ours, it's in shambles. I thought Captain Kurosaki was gonna cry when he saw it—"

"Kurosaki left the fourth division? Kuchiki must be out."

"'Course she is. He saw our division, decided it wasn't worth the effort, and ran off to see her." Toushirou rolled his eyes. Typical Kurosaki.

"And…what are _you_ doing?"

"Also decided our division wasn't worth the effort. It's completely in shambles. Though I'll admit, it looks better than the ninth — passed them on the way here, building's completely leveled, no trees left to speak of, training ground was ripped to shreds…" Momo shook her head sadly. "We can't take much more of this."

"You're telling us."

Rukia looked around what remained of her division once…twice…

"This is just depressing."

"Take heart." Ichigo spoke from right behind her. "This place looks about ten times better than my division does."

Rukia turned to look at him. "If it looks better here then you must not have a division left to speak of."

"I don't." Ichigo shook his head, running a hand through his hair and looking around. "It wasn't even worth sticking around to watch the others try and clean up. And Momo wanted to go and see Toushirou, so…I took off first."

"You took off just so Momo could take off, huh? Aren't you a great, giving person." Ichigo almost smiled, until he saw the uptight, annoyed look on Rukia's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked without thinking. Then he realized. "Ah. Ukitake-san told you about…old man Yamamoto's decision?"

Rukia scowled, crossing her arms and leaning against one of the few remaining trees left standing. "Yeah, he told me. Of all the ways he could have punished us, he has to take us off the freakin' battlefield? What good will that do anyone?"

Ichigo sighed and reached out, tucking a lock of Rukia's raven hair back behind her ear, letting his large hand linger; his palm alone covered her entire cheek. "I know it's annoying—"

"No, you don't." Rukia argued. "Because you see, no one's going to take _you_ out of the fight, no one's going to tell you to sit down and stay still while people you care about go out and die—"

"No one's going to die."

"Tell that to the people who have _already_ died." Rukia muttered, reaching her small hand up and touching it to his. They stood in silence for a minute, their hands still touching, his still over her cheek. "It's not fair." She muttered finally. "How can Yamamoto expect me to just _sit_ here while…"

Her voice drifted off. Ichigo turned his hand so their palms were touching and wound his fingers through hers, holding on loosely. "It'll be okay." He promised quietly. He let their still-intertwined hands fall into the empty space between them. Rukia looked down at them as if she had never seen anything quite like it before.

"Don't promise me anything." She whispered, her voice broken. "Don't make a promise you can't keep."

"Of course I won't." Ichigo said quietly. "I only make promises I _can_ keep, you know that. And I promise this — I'm coming back alive."

"And how do you plan on _keeping_ that promise?" Rukia demanded, trying to pull her hand away. Ichigo held on firmly.

"Do you need to ask?" He kept his voice light, his eyes filled with humor, but his face was serious. "Come on, I'm Ichigo, remember? I don't die."

"You're not immortal. You'll die someday."

"Someday." Ichigo agreed. "But not tomorrow. Or the next day. Or any of the days that follow in this war. Okay?" Rukia ducked her head, looking away from him. "Hey. Look at me." Ichigo reached his free hand out, tucking his fingers under her chin and forcing her to look at him. "What's really bothering you, Rukia? This isn't just about not being able to fight, even if it _is_ near the top of your list of concerns. What else is there? What more could there _possibly_ be?"

Rukia jerked out of his grip, looking down at their hands. "I don't want to lose you." She muttered after a moment. "I'm not even worried about you dying — I mean, I _am_, but it's not…I'm just…I don't want you to disappear again."

Ichigo's throat closed up, and it took him a minute to remember how to speak. "I'm not going anywhere." He said finally. "I won't disappear. I won't…I won't hurt you again. I refuse to."

You know I'm not worried about—"

"Yourself?" Ichigo cut her off. "Yeah, I know. You're never worried about yourself. It's one of the many, many things that annoys me about you…"

Rukia raised an eyebrow at him. "And?" She prompted, knowing there was something more he wanted to say, even if he wouldn't say it. Ichigo's skin darkened a bit, and he looked away from her, focusing on a spot some ten feet away.

"And it's one of the many…_many_ things I love about you." It was Rukia's turn to blush. She felt a shock go through her at the word _love_.

"Ichigo…" She couldn't think of anything to say. Anything that wouldn't make her want to find an open hole to jump in, anyway.

"Forget it." Ichigo said at once, as if he'd realized he'd made a mistake. "I shouldn't have…I mean…forget it. Forget I said anything."

"What if I don't want to?" Rukia asked quietly. Ichigo looked back at her, surprise clear in his eyes.

"I don't think I'd mind that too much." He admitted after a minute. He closed the small space between them, reaching his other hand up and drawing her against his chest, holding her tightly with one arm. Rukia buried her face in his robes, sighing deeply.

"We're pathetic." She informed him after a minute. "Absolutely pathetic. Do you realize how pathetic we are?"

"If I didn't before the last twenty seconds, I certainly do now." Ichigo said with a small chuckle, kissing the top of Rukia's head. "And you're right. We're pathetic."

"I _know_ I'm right." There was a small note of triumph in Rukia's voice. Ichigo half-smiled, holding her more tightly against him. "So what now?"

"Well…I think normal people would call this a _moment_." Ichigo said thoughtfully. "And normal moments usually end with…ya know, a kiss. Or something."

"Good thing we're not normal then." Rukia said as she pulled away from him. Her hand never left his.

"Yeah." Ichigo agreed. He raised his free hand, resting it on her cheek once more. "Uh…do me a favor."

"What?"

"Don't kill me." And Ichigo leaned in, brushing his lips over hers. Rukia reacted almost automatically, pushing up on her toes so their lips were more firmly against each other.

Time lost meaning as they stood there, so close together that they barely counted as two people. But finally they had to resurface, to breathe, at least. They pulled away from each other, and amber eyes met violet.

"I'm not going anywhere." Ichigo promised quietly.

"I won't let you." Rukia responded, squeezing his hand tightly.

* * *

**Author's Note:** It's been sooooooo long since I wrote a decent IchiRuki scene. This renews my faith in my writing though, because personally, I loved this part. What do you guys think? Review, please! — Sam


	21. Hope

**Inner Conflict — XXI**

"You're a stubborn and I don't know why I put up with you."

Ichigo looked over his shoulder. Rukia was standing in the door of his office, obviously annoyed. "Because you love me?" He suggested, smiling weakly. Rukia wasn't amused. Ichigo sighed, turning all the way sitting on the edge of his desk. "What'd I do now?"

"I told you — you're being an idiot."

"Gonna have to be more specific, Rukia."

Rukia stepped fully into the office, slamming the door behind her. "I'm talking about how you refuse to tell Yamamoto about how the hollow was able to take control!" She snapped. Ichigo winced, wondering if a closed door would be able to keep Rukia from being heard in the hall.

"Who told you about that?"

"Momo-san." Ichigo rolled his eyes. Of course. No doubt Toushirou had told _her_. "Seriously Ichigo, are you an idiot? Hang on a sec, I already know the answer to _that_ — of course you are. Let me rephrase that; how _big_ of an idiot are you?!"

Ichigo waited until he was sure Rukia was done ranting before he spoke. "I don't want to be pulled off the front-line."

Wrong answer. "Oh _great_ reason." Rukia's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "And I'm _sure_ when the hollow takes over again and kills us all, Yamamoto will thank you."

Ichigo sighed, dragging a hand through his spiky orange hair. "Rukia—"

"No." She cut him off, her voice filled with venom. "No, all right? You _have_ to tell Yamamoto — if not for me, then at least for yourself. Because if the hollow takes over again and this time actually manages to kill someone, you know you won't be able to live with yourself. For once in your life, _please_ — just _think_. Because you and I both know too well how badly this could end."

Ichigo shifted his eyes to the wall. Rukia huffed, obviously annoyed. "Ichigo—"

"I can't back down, Rukia. If it was just about fighting for Soul Society, it'd be different. But it's…I can't _not_ fight, not when there are people I care about involved. I have to fight."

Rukia clenched and unclenched her fists a couple of times, looking as if she would very much like to take a swing at the orange-haired captain standing in front of her.

"You don't _have_ to do anything." She was just being selfish at this point, and she didn't care. She'd long since figured out that she was the kind of person who would sacrifice anything for what she wanted, and she'd already come to terms with that. She could live with it, as long as she _could_ get what she wanted. And right then…right then she just wanted Ichigo to be safe.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

* * *

"How are you?" Momo jumped and looked down. Rukia was standing under the tree branch Momo was sitting on. The brown-haired Shinigami sighed and swung her legs over so they were dangling.

"I hate this." There was a surprising amount of venom in her voice. "I hate not knowing what's going to happen, and I hate knowing that when something _does_ happen I won't be able to do anything to help."

"I know what you mean." Rukia sighed as she settled onto the ground, leaning back against a tree, her legs drawn up to her chest. "But we reap what we deserve, don't we?"

Momo blinked, surprised. "You're amazingly calm about this." Then she became suspicious. "What are you planning?"

Rukia chuckled humorlessly. "Nothing. Trust me, you'd be the first person I told if I _was_ planning something."

They both sighed, looking out at the body of water sprawled before them. They were annoyed, to say the least. It was hard, knowing when trouble came they would be forced to sit back and let nature take it's course.

"What do you think would happen if we _did_ get involved?" Momo asked out of nowhere. "You know, things get chaotic when there's a fight, if we _happen_ to get mixed up in it…"

"Mutiny." Rukia replied at once. "We'd be disobeying orders. You can't accidentally get mixed up in a fight, after all."

Momo huffed, annoyed. "You are _amazingly_ unhelpful." She informed Rukia impatiently. "Of all the people, I figured _you'd_ be able to get creative about this." Rukia didn't answer. Momo sighed. "Okay. I get it. What's wrong?"

Rukia tilted her head back, violet eyes meeting deep brown. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Because you should be more outraged about this. You should want to go to Yamamoto and pitch a fit about this ludicrous order. You should _not_ be this calm. The only way I see you being this calm is that you've got something bigger on your mind. What are you thinking about?"

Rukia sighed, closing her eyes. Momo knew that look, knew there was only one thing that could bother Rukia this much.

"You're thinking about what might happen if the hollow takes over again." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, something like that." Rukia muttered without opening her eyes. "Ichigo refuses to tell Yamamoto how the hollow took over before." Momo knew that already, of course. She was the one who had tipped Rukia off to that small fact. "He just keeps insisting it won't happen again. And he knows it will, but he refuses to be taken off the front-line. He's an idiot."

Momo bit her lip. She couldn't say she understood, because she didn't. Sure, she was worried Toushirou would be killed, but at least that would be the end. To have the one you loved erased, but the body was still there…The thought of it made Momo sick.

"Maybe it won't happen." She said reassuringly. "Maybe he _can_ control it—"

"He can't and you know it." Rukia snapped. "Aizen's presence is a catalyst, it draws the hollow out. Ichigo's being a moron."

"Yeah, but if he _wasn't _being a moron, he wouldn't be Ichigo, right?" It was a sorry attempt at a joke. Rukia didn't smile. "It'll be okay."

"Yeah. Momo-san, do _you_ believe that?"

Momo didn't answer.

* * *

Toushirou leaned back on the railing, crossing his arms over his chest, staring at the starry sky above him. It was quiet, for which he was grateful. He needed the silence, the time to think.

Still, he was glad when he felt Momo's spiritual pressure coming towards him. As nice as being alone was, it still made him uncomfortable to have her out of his sight. He'd been trying to give her space, but hey, if she wanted to come to him, he wasn't about to send her away.

"Needed a place to think?" Momo asked when she arrived. They were, once again, standing outside their childhood home.

"Yeah." Toushirou shifted his eyes to look at Momo. He still couldn't get over the change he saw in her. Her face was…lighter. Freer. Even knowing she couldn't fight anymore, she was more at ease now than she had been in _years_. Letting go of Aizen had done a world of good for her. And Toushirou liked it. He was happy she could finally be free.

"So." Momo walked over to stand next to him, hopping onto the railing. "What are you thinking about?"

Toushirou looked back at the stars. "Wondering what it'd be like to be a star." He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Momo cock her head, obviously confused. "I mean, you just hang up there for all of eternity. You see everything in the world, and you don't worry about any of it. You're just…free. Completely free of any responsibility and any worry. I wonder what that's like."

Momo half-smiled. "Do you remember what Baa-chan used to tell us?" Toushirou's lips twitched into a smile as well.

"Stars are the people who died before us and are watching over us now." He recited the old words like they were a nursery rhyme.

"I still believed that for years." Momo said, tilting her head up to look at the stars. "After she died, I believed that she was up there watching us, protecting us. It was almost like she wasn't gone."

"When did you stop believing it?" Momo was quiet for a minute.

"After Aizen tried to kill me." She muttered finally. "When I thought he was dead, it was almost comforting, thinking he was up in the stars watching me. So I tried to hold onto it. Then…"

She shuddered. Toushirou scowled. "What about you?" She asked, obviously trying to distract him. "Did you _ever_ believe it?"

"No." Toushirou admitted. "You know me, I was a skeptical child—"

"You're _still_ a skeptical child." Momo teased, poking his arm. Toushirou swatted her hand away, and she smiled.

"Point is, it wasn't really something I _could_ believe in. People who had died still watching over us? It sounds like a fairy-tale. But…" He sighed. "You're right. It was nice, after she died, to think about her up there, watching over us. Maybe I believed it a little then. But eventually we all have to face facts. No one is going to watch us. No one is going to protect us. We're on our own."

When Momo spoke again, her voice was sad. "We're not on our own." She informed Toushirou. "We have each other. We're going to watch over each other. We're going to protect each other. It doesn't matter what the dead do. We're the living — so to speak — and that's what _we're_ going to do."

Toushirou didn't even think as he reached over, taking Momo's hand in his own and squeezing it tightly. She returned the pressure without speaking, and they went back to watching the

* * *

"So are you just not going to talk to me now?"

Rukia didn't even bother to look over her shoulder. She was leaning back on her hands, staring idly at the velvety-black, star-dotted sky. "I didn't know you were there."

Ichigo snorted. "Don't give me that crap and don't insult my intelligence. You know perfectly well I've been standing here for the last five minutes. Don't play dumb."

"Well why didn't _you_ say anything, then?"

"I was waiting for you." Ichigo sighed as he walked over to stand next to her, looking up at the sky as well. "I know you're mad at me—"

"You're damn right I'm mad at you." Rukia snapped, cutting him off. "I don't understand what you think you're doing and it's pissing me off."

Ichigo sat down next to her, crossing his legs. He reached his hand to her, and she jerked away. She didn't _want_ to be comforted for God's sake. "_Rukia_—"

"Just explain it to me. Please? Explain to me what the hell is going on in your head." She sounded almost desperate. "Tell me one — just _one_ decent reason why it's a good idea for you to go out there and risk losing yourself to the hollow again. One reason. That's all I want. And I'll leave you alone about it. I promise."

It took Ichigo a minute to answer. "I already gave you all the reasons I had." He said finally, "I can't back out of this fight because there are too many people I care about involved. I can't leave them to fight on their own."

"What about _you_?" Rukia's voice sounded tortured now. "Don't you care about _yourself_? At _all_?"

"I don't have to." Ichigo cracked dryly. "You do it for me."

"And a lot of good it's doing." Rukia tried, with little success, to cover the pain in her voice with irritability.

"What's it going to take to make you realize I'm _not_ going to die?"

"What's it going to take to make _you_ realize that is the _least_ of my worries?" Rukia shot back. "You're too stubborn to die, I already know that, it's the last thing on my mind. But sometimes there are worst fates then death—"

"Such as losing yourself inside your own head." Ichigo sighed. "I get that. But I'm not going to—"

"Don't say it won't happen, okay? Because it could happen. Very easily. And hearing say it _won't_ just makes it worse. So think of something else to say, or shut up. Because I don't want to hear _'it's not going to happen'_."

Ichigo sighed as he fell silent. Of course Rukia was going to be stubborn about it. _Stubborn_ was all she knew how to do.

They stared at the stars for a few minutes, each wrapped in his or her own thoughts. "After my mom died," Ichigo said finally, "my dad told me that she was in the stars, watching us, that when people died, they became stars and hung over us for all of eternity, protecting the people they cared about."

"Heart-warming." Ichigo knew, without looking, that Rukia was rolling her eyes. He was sure nobody had ever said anything like that to her. She hadn't had any parental figures in her life, after all. Nobody had ever comforted her after someone she cared about had died. No one had ever tried to give her any false hope.

"Yeah. Seems stupid to think about now. After everything I've seen—"

"After everything you've seen," Rukia cut him off, "if you still couldn't find it in yourself to hold onto at least _one_ fairy-tale, then you haven't learned much at all."

The words surprised Ichigo. He looked over at Rukia, who was staring resolutely at the sky. "What does _that_ mean?"

"Means we all need a little hope. Otherwise life isn't worth living." Ichigo sensed a bit of a double-meaning behind the words.

"Guess you would know, huh?" To his surprise, Rukia almost smiled.

"Yeah. Guess I would."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Guess what the next chapter is? Go on, guess, guess!

…………………………………

Did you guess 'the epilogue'? If so, congratulations, 'cause you're right! As you can most likely tell, my inspiration is rather gone for this story, and anyways, the main point of it is kind of done. So why drag it out and make it boring? Therefore, epilogue. And _no¸_ there will be no sequel. And yes, when it ends, they _will _still be fighting the war. Because I can't think of a descent way to end that, I'm going to leave that part open-ended. So…review. I'd love you for life if you review. Please? — Sam


	22. Epilogue Future

**Inner Conflict — Epilogue**

—_**:—Three Months Later—:—**_

"Give me a break, you call that _soup_? Captain Ukitake will like mine much better—"

"In your dreams!"

"In _your_ nightmares!"

Rukia sighed, smiling slightly and covering her ears to block out the argument that the wind carried through the air, up to her office. A recent raid in Hueco Mundo had been successful, in a manner of speaking. They'd managed to rescue a few of the captured Shinigami, including the thirteenth squad's third seat. For the first time nobody was complaining that Kiyone and Sentarou were making too much noise.

"Noisy couple of idiots, aren't they?" Rukia looked over her shoulder at Ichigo, who was sitting on her window sill.

"Ever heard of a door?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. Ichigo shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. "Everyone's too relieved to have Kiyone back to complain about the arguing. That'll probably change after a couple of days, of course, but for now everyone's happy, so why mess it up?"

"Yeah, guess I don't blame you there." Ichigo conceded, jumping off the window sill. "So whatcha doing?"

"Paperwork. You know, that stuff that you read and sign off on because _you're_ the person in charge. Ever heard of it?"

"Yeah. Very over-rated thing if you ask me. Plus Momo loves having work to do, so she doesn't mind taking all the paperwork…"

"Of course she doesn't." Rukia shook her head, signing off on the report and setting it aside, moving on to the next thing in her pile. She took another minute to listen to Kiyone and Sentarou, and smiled. "Music to my ears."

"That's sad." Ichigo informed her. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh very mature Rukia."

"You know what? I'm in a good mood. Be quiet."

A smile threatened to pull at Ichigo's lips. He tried to push it back quickly, but Rukia caught him. "I'm sorry, what was that? Was that a smile? Did you just almost smile?"

"Zip it." Ichigo said, his voice gruff. He turned away abruptly. Rukia smiled a tight smile as she stood up, walking casually around to look at Ichigo's face. He, in turn, looked away again.

"Oh come on." Rukia sighed. "It's okay for you to smile, I won't tell anyone. Except you know, maybe Rangiku-san, who will probably tell Captain Hitsugaya, who will pretend not to care except Momo-san will be standing right there, and _she'll_ tell—"

"That's it!" Rukia ducked, laughing, as Ichigo's arm swung out to grab her. She took a few steps backwards, then turned tail to run. But Ichigo was faster, his reach longer. His arms were around her before she'd taken half a step, restraining her. "Gotcha." He said triumphantly, pulling her against his chest. Rukia didn't even bother to struggle. He was stronger than her, and anyways, she was right where she wanted to be.

Finally.

Momo was ambushed almost the second she stepped foot outside her division building. She felt a bit guilty about leaving the rest of the paperwork, but there was only a little, and anyways Ichigo had taken off early, so why not her too—?

Her thoughts were cut off as someone attacked her from the right. "Momo-san!" Rangiku crooned, wrapping the smaller Shinigami in a bone-crushing hug.

"_Ow_…" Momo whimpered, feeling as if she were being crushed. "Ran­giku-_san_…"

"Let's go out!" Rangiku was, of course, oblivious. "There's this bar in the third district that just started selling some new concoction, I've been looking for someone to go with me—"

"So that someone can help you get home when you drink yourself into a coma?" Rangiku waved Momo off.

"And then I thought, 'well I haven't seen Momo-san in awhile, she's been working too hard—'"

"_Someone_ has to finish the paperwork. And Captain Kurosaki can't be bothered to pick up a pen—"

"So here I am asking you!" Rangiku finished as if Momo hadn't spoken. The brown-haired girl rolled her eyes, sighing. Sometimes it wasn't even worth speaking.

"I can't, Rangiku-san. Sorry."

"Why _not_?" Rangiku whined, pretending to be hurt.

"I have plans." Momo regretted the words the second they were out of her mouth. _Stupid, stupid Momo_, she cursed silently.

"Plans?" Rangiku repeated. Her eyes lit up. "Oooohhh, are you doing something with Captain Hitsugaya? What? Where?"

"_Why_?" Momo asked suspiciously. Rangiku tried and failed to look innocent.

"Just curious."

"Yeah, so you can follow us like a nosy little spy." Momo muttered, looking away. "Forget it Rangiku-san. And you know if you follow us he'll skin you alive. Better stay away."

She Shunpo-ed away before Rangiku could say anything else. The tenth division vice-captain frowned. One of her best friends and her captain were going out on a date. She was entitled to know where.

And she knew just who she could ask.

"You know it'll be here in the morning—"

"Yes, it will be. I will say 'it'll be here in the morning,' leave it, and when I come in tomorrow morning I'll say, 'it'll be here this afternoon,' and leave it. And then I'll come back in the afternoon, I'll say, 'it'll be here later—'"

"I get it." Ichigo cut Rukia off, sighing and leaning back against the edge of the window, watching her do her paperwork.

"Captain Ukitake is sick again, I need to get this stuff done for him. Anyways, if you're so bored, go back to your own division and do something, take some work off poor Momo-san's hands—"

"She's not there." Ichigo shouted in surprise as Rangiku appeared in the window next to him, and he nearly fell off.

"What do you mean she's not there?" He asked when he'd recovered.

"She left a few minutes ago. Which is exactly what I came to talk to you about Rukia-san." Rukia rolled her eyes. She already knew what this was about. "Momo-san is going somewhere with Captain Hitsugaya. Do you know where?"

Rukia didn't look up when she answered. "Nope."

"You're lying."

"Yup." Rangiku groaned.

"That's not fair! Why did she tell you but not me?"

"Because she knows _I_ won't try to follow them." Rukia signed off on the last report and set it aside, _finally_ done for the night.

"Fine." Rangiku huffed, offended. "I don't care."

"Yeah you do." Ichigo and Rukia spoke at the same time.

"I _dooooo_!" Rangiku whined, dropping her head on the window-sill. She recovered after less than a minute. "So Rukia-san, what are you doing tonight?"

"I'm not helping you spy on them."

"No, there's this bar in the third district that's trying some new concoction—"

"And you want someone to come so they can help you home when you drink yourself into a coma?" Rukia guessed.

"Momo-san made that same assumption, you know. It really pains me…anyways, you want to go with me?"

"Can't." Rukia stood up, stretching, and started for the door. "I'm busy."

"Doing _what_?" Rangiku demanded, obviously outraged.

"Stuff." Rukia left before Rangiku could ask for details. Rangiku blinked and looked over at Ichigo, surprised to see that he had disappeared as well.

"Everybody's so _mean_." She moaned as she Shunpo-ed away.

Ichigo and Rukia watched from the shadows as Rangiku left. They exchanged devious smiles.

"Thought she'd never leave." Ichigo said, chuckling darkly. Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Quit acting so evil. Come on. I don't want to spend all night here."

"Well you _do_ have a couch…"

Rukia slapped Ichigo as she walked away. He smirked, jogging to keep up with her.

"Hiya." Toushirou looked down at Momo, who was standing to his left, smiling. She hopped up on the railing next to him. They were back at their childhood home once more. It had become a retreat for them. An escape. It was the one place they could go where no one would think to look for them. "How long have you been sitting here for?"

"Just a few minutes. Matsumoto took off early, so I left before she decided to come back."

"Yeah, she's looking for drinking partners, she stopped by to talk to me as I was leaving." Momo smiled, looking up at the sky. The sun was just setting, creating a collage of pink and yellow and orange and light purple through the sky. It was pretty.

"Of course." Toushirou rolled his eyes. "She's a lush, how she ever became a vice-captain—"

"Because when she gets serious, she's good at what she does."

"Too bad she's never serious." Momo giggled.

"That's not very nice."

"I'm not a very nice person, am I?"

"You're nice to me." Momo looked down to see Toushirou's face turn red, as it surely would — he hated having his 'nice' qualities pointed out. And sure enough his face burned, creating an interesting contrast of red and white between his face and hair. Momo bit back another giggle and looked back at the sky.

"You're the only person around worth being nice to." Toushirou muttered finally, recovering himself. It was almost an automatic thing for Momo to reach out, take his hand. Their fingers intertwined.

"Nice." Ichigo said off-handedly. He was watching the sun set. Rukia kept her eyes on the ground. Her good mood was fading with the sun. The day was almost over. And tomorrow they would be back to reality. Cold, harsh reality. Because all good things just _had_ to come to an end?

"Okay." Ichigo sighed, looking down at her. "What's bothering you _now_?"

"Nothing."

"You're a terrible liar."

"Be quiet."

"Then tell me what's wrong." Rukia didn't answer. Ichigo stopped walking and grabbed her arm, jarring her to a halt as well. She looked back at him, a bit annoyed.

"Let go—"

"No." His voice was calm, but final. Their eyes met, and they were silent for a long time.

"One victory." Rukia said finally, yanking her arm free. "In this entire war, we have _one_ victory. And in the long run, it's a victory that won't really matter. We're still at war. We may very well be for the rest of our lives. This isn't something that isn't going to just go away. No matter how much we wish it would."

Ichigo sighed. Yeah. He definitely understood _that_. "You're right." Rukia was surprise by how easily he agreed. "It _is_ just one victory. But look how happy it made everyone. Kyoraku got his vice-captain back — he's been practically dancing ever since. We got back Ikkaku — still haven't decided if that's good or bad, but whatever — and we got Kiyone, which you _know_ you're happy about." Rukia didn't even bother to try and deny that. "So yeah, maybe it's one small victory. But it's one more than we had a month ago."

He was right. As much as Rukia hated to admit it, he _was_ right. One was better than none. "Anyways, let's not worry about that tonight. Night time or not, tonight is still today. And today everyone's supposed to be happy, which you _were_, earlier. Be happy again. I like you better when you're happy."

"Yeah, that's not too hypocritical." Rukia poked Ichigo's arm, smirking lightly. His lips twitched into a smile.

"You're hilarious."

Momo leaned her head against Toushirou's shoulder, watching the last of the sun's rays fade from the sky. "It's not over." She said with a sigh. Toushirou knew what she was talking about.

"No." He agreed, leaning in and brushing his lips against Momo's forehead. "Maybe it never will be. Who knows."

"Wish _we_ did." Momo sounded slightly bitter. Toushirou almost smiled.

"Having the ability to see the future _would_ be nice." He agreed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and drawing her closer to him. "But not exactly possible. Guess we'll just have to settle for living and seeing what happens."

Momo considered that for a minute. As long as Toushirou was there, living with her…

She could handle that.

"Another day over." Rukia said as the sun finished it's descent, and the moon took it's place.

"And a million more to go." Ichigo finished the thought. "Ever wish you could see the future?" He asked after a minute.

"Only every single day." Ichigo chuckled lightly. "I don't like not knowing what's going to happen."

"I think there's a reason we're not supposed to know." Rukia just shrugged. Ichigo smiled, unable to help himself. For the first time in a long — _long_ — time, everything felt…okay. Sure, they were no closer to winning this war then they had been a long, _long_ time ago, and yeah, tomorrow they would be back to the grind of trying to survive as an evil mastermind and self-proclaimed God tried to kill them.

But that was tomorrow. This was today. And _today_…

Everything was all right.

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**Author's Note:** Have I mentioned how much I _suck_ at endings? XP Anywho…welcome, my friends, to the end of _Inner Conflict_. And now, as per usual, it's time for the customary…

_**ForeverSam Sappy Corner:**_ I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this story, and a very special thanks to those who stuck with it and reviewed even through my awkward 'I have no writing talent' phase (yeah, I know, you're all wondering when that's going to end and when I'm going to produce something worth reading again XD). So thank you all so much. I love you all, and I _know_ I wouldn't be able to keep writing if I didn't have your support.

Whew, bet we're all glad that's over. Anyways, with this story done and _Dawn at Dusk_ in the wind, I'll be spending more time focusing on _Heart and Soul_, so maybe that story will get a little better, and I've got a couple of original stories that I'd like to focus more on, though whether or not I actually do or not is another story. I'll also be working on my new story — _Shadow of the Day _— which I still haven't decided if I want to publish yet or not. But here are the deets anyways, for anyone who doesn't read _H&S _and hasn't already seen it:

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**Title:** _Shadow of the Day_

**Rating:** _T_

**Pairings:** _Ichigo/Rukia_

**AU:** _Yessir!_

**Summary:** _"My world is dark," she murmured. "It's been so long since I saw light, I've forgotten what it looks like. But when I'm with you, I can imagine it."—They are two teens leading very different lives. And yet…"You're my light...Ichigo."[AU, IchiRuki]_

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If there's anyone out there that would be interested in reading the first chapter, though, I'd be happy to send it to ya. You'd have to have an account so I can PM it, so no anon. reviewers. Anyways if I anyone wants to see it, let me know. If I get enough good feedback…I'll consider putting it up. Now, as a very wise person once said:

"Th-th-th-th-th-th-th-That's all, folks!"

XD Oh, _and_ I'm going to be getting ready for my first year of college. Good thing I'm a good multi-tasker XP Review, please — Sam


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